I have a colleague who has suffered from insomnia recently because of anxiety. He said, "I'm afraid I don't know how to be a father!". As the father of a 3-year-old child, I share my experience in the hope that it can help my colleague and you in front of the screen.
1. Establishing records
Setting up records in the hospital is the most important thing for a wife to solve after she becomes pregnant. If you choose a large hospital close to your home, all future prenatal checkups and final delivery will be done in this hospital. Not setting up a record means there will be no place to give birth. Of course, you can also choose a private hospital for delivery, such as "United Family Hospital", so you don't have to rush to build a hospital. High-end, but expensive and not suitable for ordinary families.
Each street has a designated place to apply for the "Maternal and Child Health Handbook". If you are not sure, you can ask the street office.
2. Ensure the physical and mental health of the mother
During pregnancy, expectant fathers should ensure that expectant mothers stay away from second-hand smoke and alcohol; they can take walks with them every day; the home environment should be kept as comfortable as possible and pay attention to keeping the air Fresh, warm and hygienic, try to ensure that the expectant mother does not get sick. If you need to take medicine, you must follow the doctor's advice. After all, many medicines are prohibited for pregnant women, including traditional Chinese medicine;
During this period, expectant fathers should take out With a big man's mind, he should protect and care for the mother-to-be, and rush to the front to protect her from the wind and rain when something happens.
3. Prenatal check-up
After the file is established, the hospital will inform you of the time for prenatal check-up. Make sure to check on time to detect problems as early as possible and respond to them as soon as possible. Because prenatal check-ups are related to the health and soundness of the fetus, the hospital is cautious. Occasionally, there will be problems with the prenatal check-up results, and they may look scary. Don’t be overly nervous at this time, because with the follow-up examinations, most of them will not be a big problem.
It is recommended that the expectant father should accompany the expectant mother during the examination as much as possible. On the one hand, he has to take care of her, and on the other hand, it can also help stabilize the expectant mother's mood if the examination results are not satisfactory. As long as it is an examination, people will feel uneasy and uneasy while waiting for the results. Don't let expectant mothers face this alone.
After 4 months of pregnancy, you can make an appointment for a "four-dimensional ultrasound" examination. Four-dimensional ultrasound can display the three-dimensional image of the baby and record it as a video. You will see the baby yawning, touching his head, and even Smile! This may be the most impressive meeting you have before your baby is born. After the examination, the private examination agency will give you souvenirs. The color of the souvenirs can tell you the gender of the baby ("blue" represents a male baby, "pink" represents a female baby), usually photo frames, small socks and the like. Four-dimensional ultrasound is usually done in private institutions. It seems that hospitals don’t have it or the price is higher. In addition, they usually don’t tell you your gender. We conducted the inspection at an agency located in a residential building in a community.
Do you want to know the gender of your baby in advance? It’s your choice, some people like last-minute draws, others like spoilers in advance. There are also some benefits to knowing the gender of your baby in advance, because you can make targeted preparations later, such as naming, buying clothes, etc.
Finally, let’s talk about “Major Abnormalities” and “Down Syndrome Screening (Down Syndrome Screening)”. These examinations mainly check whether the fetus has malformations and whether there are congenital chromosomal diseases. We must pay attention to the results of these examinations, visit several hospitals, and listen to opinions from many parties. Of course, not all tests are absolutely accurate. I have also heard of people who failed the "Tang Screen", but the example of giving birth to a healthy baby happened to my colleagues around me.
In short, I am nervous every time my wife has a prenatal check-up, and I believe you will be too, but a man must be able to handle things and be her spiritual support, so come on!
4. Beware of pregnancy symptoms
I am not a doctor, so I will just talk about the problems we encountered:
1) Low progesterone
< p> Low progesterone can lead to miscarriage in early pregnancy. In the first three months of pregnancy, because the fetus has not yet grown out of the placenta, the growth of the embryo is mainly supported by the hormone progesterone. Taking progesterone by mouth can solve this problem.2) Gestational diabetes
It often occurs in the middle and late stages of pregnancy, and is more common in obese or elderly mothers. It can cause premature birth, low birth weight, dystocia, macrosomia, congenital malformations, etc. It can usually be detected indirectly during prenatal care, or directly through the "glucose tolerance" test during prenatal care.
My wife was diagnosed indirectly. At that time, the test revealed that she had "polyhydramnios," which suggested that the fetus may have congenital malformations or that the mother had gestational diabetes. Later, our baby and adults were tested, and it was finally confirmed that it was my wife. She has gestational diabetes, but during the previous glucose tolerance test, she was normal. This shows that the body of a pregnant woman will change at any time between the two prenatal examinations. What was normal before does not mean it will be normal later.
3) Nausea and vomiting
This is the most common pregnancy reaction. Some people have it earlier, some have it later, some have severe symptoms and some have mild symptoms. They may vomit several times, but it is abnormal to not have vomiting. Expectant mothers may suddenly be sensitive to certain smells and feel nauseous when they smell them. This stage does not last long, and you will basically lose a few pounds of meat. The tastes of expectant mothers will also change. What they used to like will not touch even a bite now. What they didn’t like before are now addicted to eating them. Or they especially want to eat certain foods at a certain time. At this time, they must be patient and satisfy the expectant mother. The expectant mother will Feeling very happy.
5. Buy necessities for expectant mothers
Such as: special underwear for pregnant women, nursing underwear, abdominal support belts, anti-nipple cracking cream, large-sized daily clothes, pajamas, down jackets, Radiation protection clothing, etc.
The "belly support belt" is very useful. Expectant mothers in the late pregnancy have a big belly and put a lot of burden on their waist and hips. It will be much more comfortable to walk with it.
I think the biggest role of "radiation protection clothing" is to tell others "I am a pregnant woman, give me your seat." Other functions are limited, so there is no need to overinvest here. Whether you want to buy it or not, and how much you want to buy it for, you are happy with it.
6. Prepare to name your baby
You can look for inspiration at any time and refer to any ancient books (such as the Book of Songs), film and television works, naming encyclopedias, etc. At this time, there are no good or bad names. Whatever names you think of are acceptable to you, write them down, and you can discuss them with the expectant mother and family later. Here are some ideas for reference:
(1) It is recommended that you:
1) Try to choose a name with 3 characters: This is to avoid duplication of names, sometimes you use 2 characters The household registration department will not accept names with 3 characters, and will let you choose a name with 3 characters.
(2) Naming ideas:
1) Think about your expectations, expectations and giving for your baby’s future. If you want your baby to be safe, calm and everything goes well, you can call it "Enron".
2) Find inspiration from the season, time, zodiac sign, place, and recent important events when the baby was born. Such as "春生" and "Jianguo".
3) Find inspiration from the baby’s physical characteristics. Such as "Confucius" (because Confucius' forehead was big and high, like a mountain)
4) Look for characters and words in ancient books, arrange and combine them. Such as "Butchering Youyou" (Book of Songs: "Youyou deer roar, eating apples in the wild")
5) Simply ask the most senior and knowledgeable elders in the family to help you get it, which is the most worry-free, but there is no sense of participation.
? (3) I don’t recommend you:
1) Use uncommon words: Although it looks very knowledgeable, it will cause a lot of troubles in the future, such as: difficulty in typing, difficulty in reading by others, etc. It may be accurate or the pronunciation is wrong, and it is difficult to write it yourself;
2) Choose a name that is difficult to pronounce: such as "Su Xu". If you have something urgent, you have to call him loudly. Try it. It's not awkward. ;
3) Taking the names of great people and celebrities: Needless to say, this is easy to make a joke.
7. Study and reduce stress
Since you are worried that you will not be a father, then use all the resources around you to study! You can read online articles and books, or chat with them to learn more. If you want to learn relevant knowledge efficiently and systematically, it is recommended to read books directly. Here I recommend a book, "Parenting Encyclopedia" by Michio Matsuda. This book is basically enough. It is written in great detail. Many of your future experiences are "predicted" in the book.
Of course, it is best to watch online videos on how to hold a baby and how to burp a baby.
Expectant fathers and expectant mothers can actively chat with friends and relatives who have children. On the one hand, they can learn experience, and on the other hand, they can release stress and eliminate many worries.
As your understanding of parenting deepens, your anxiety will decrease significantly.
8. About work
From the time your wife is pregnant until you adapt to the role of father, it is recommended that the father-to-be keep his job stable, improve his work efficiency, and have a good relationship with his boss to provide With a stable income, it will be easier to take time off. Moonlighters should pay attention. They should reduce unnecessary expenses and leave some surplus food to deal with various expenses and uncertainties in the future to ensure economic security.
9. Regarding housing
Considering that parents may come to help in the future, it is recommended to live in at least "two bedrooms" so that both babies and adults have space to ensure a good rest. If you want to upgrade your housing, you can start looking at houses and changing houses.
10. Regarding maternity photos
I suggest that expectant fathers take some photos. After all, many people only have one chance to get pregnant, so it is good to keep a souvenir. You can take them in a photo studio or by yourself. Just like wedding photos, there is little chance of looking back at them in the future, so there is no need to overspend, just have them. In addition, there are also two prenatal and postpartum photos, which are also very creative, such as the one below:
1. Ask parents to help
The closer to the expected date of delivery, the more considerate the expectant mother needs to be. If the expectant father cannot spare time to take care of the expectant mother, it is recommended to ask the elderly to help. As for whether to invite the male parents or the female parents, the two can discuss it; it is recommended to ask the female parents to help because the living habits are similar and the cooking tastes are similar. It suits the appetite of the expectant mother. In addition, the expectant mother can be aroused more naturally, so she will not be embarrassed to say she is dissatisfied. Many conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law also arise during this period.
2. Provide emergency transportation for expectant mothers
In order to make expectant mothers more comfortable on the way to frequent inspections and to cope with various emergencies, it is recommended to prepare an emergency vehicle at this time. Cars are available 24 hours a day.
If you don’t have a car or are qualified to buy a car, renting a car is also a good choice. Look for a platform that provides personal vehicle rental (such as Guazi Car Rental - now closed). Economic models generally cost 2,500-3,000 yuan per month, which is more direct than Shenzhou and Ehi. Renting a car from a company is much cheaper.
3. Baby product purchase list (declaration of interests: I have no relationship with the brands recommended below)
(1) Newborn pajamas, hats, and small mattresses: generally do not need to be purchased separately Purchase, the obstetrics department of the hospital has designated newborn mattress sets;
(2) Cotton handkerchiefs, cotton bath towels: the recommended brand "Comprehensive Era";
(3) Diaper pads: The second line of defense (the first line of defense is diapers)
(3) Baby bottles: Pigeon glass baby bottles are recommended
(4) Diapers: Count "Anna Label" is recommended The price is good, babies rarely have red buttocks and allergies, and the price is slightly expensive.
(5) Bottle sterilizer: This is the most frequently used.
(6) Constant temperature kettle: This is also the most frequently used. The suitable temperature for preparing milk powder is between 40-45 degrees Celsius. The constant temperature kettle can ensure that the water is maintained at the temperature you set, making it convenient to prepare milk at any time. Of course, it can also be used to warm frozen breast milk by putting the frozen breast milk in into the bottle, and then put the bottle into a thermostatic kettle filled with water. After a while, the frozen breast milk will be warmed to the appropriate temperature.
(7) Baby lotion: "Ego QV" is recommended. Apply it after bathing to protect baby's skin.
(8) Baby milk powder: "Aptamil" and "a2" are recommended. They can be purchased from Sam's Club and the supply is reliable. Babies of different periods need to drink different "stages" of milk powder (the nutritional content and ratio are different, usually stage 1, stage 2, stage 3, stage 4). You only need to tell the salesperson how many months your child is, and the salesperson will recommend it. Milk powder suitable for your rank.
(9) Crib: It is recommended to buy an extended bed that can be put together with the big bed. It is convenient for the mother-to-be to breastfeed and take care of her at night. It is not recommended to buy an independent crib because you have to get up and take it out 10 times a night. Putting the baby back again was very hard. Our family bought an independent crib, which made my wife suffer a lot, and the baby basically didn't sleep. In the end, it was sold at a low price.
(10) Baby mosquito repellent: It is recommended to use an electric mosquito swatter
(11) Baby hair clipper
(12) Breast pump: Recommended "Medela". Because milk will continue to be secreted after delivery, the baby may not be able to drink it in time, or if the mother returns to work after her maternity leave and does not have the opportunity to breastfeed directly, she can use a breast pump to suck out the milk to avoid bloating and wasting milk.
(13) Cracked nipple cream: Babies have great power in sucking nipples, and the delicate nipples often break when sucked (which is basically inevitable and extremely painful). Cracked nipple cream can help. It has preventive and relieving effects, but remember to wash off the chapped ointment before breastfeeding.
4. Should umbilical cord blood be retained?
You can keep it if conditions permit, with a deposit period of 20 years and about 20,000 yuan. It is advertised that stem cells in umbilical cord blood can be used for autologous transplantation to cure leukemia and more than 80 other diseases. The probability of actual use was low, so we had no reservations at the time.
1. Apply for maternity insurance (real money, let’s put it first, although the second one is more important)
2. Always pay attention to the mother’s mood and be wary of “postpartum depression” ”
3. Facing possible family conflicts
4. Daily care for pregnant women who have had a caesarean section
5. Some symptoms of the baby that will make you uneasy< /p>
(1) Papules on the nose
(2) Convulsions
(3) Colic
(4) Neonatal jaundice
(5) Urgent rash in infants and young children
6. Register a household registration and apply for an ID card for the baby
7. Arrange insurance for the baby
(1) One old and one young
(2) Commercial insurance