[Abstract? Yan Zhitui's Family Instructions for Yan Family, on the basis of summarizing predecessors' family education experience, combined with his own family education practice, puts forward the family education thoughts of putting moral education first, early family education, treating each other equally, combining leniency with severity, teaching by example and attaching importance to the environment. Many of them are full of vitality, which is still worth learning and learning from today.
[Keywords:] Yan Zhitui; Yan's family training; Family education
【 China Library Classification Number 】 G40-09 【 Document Identification Number 】 A
When it comes to family training, people will naturally think of Yan Family Training, which is known as the "ancestor of family training in ancient and modern times". It is the first extant monograph on family instruction in China, and occupies a place in the development history of family instruction in China. Yan's Family Instructions inherited the essence of traditional Confucian family education theory, and combined with Yan Zhitui's own social life, family life and family education practice experience, systematically expounded rich family education thoughts, formed a relatively complete family education theory system, and was a valuable legacy in the treasure house of ancient family education theory in China, which had a far-reaching impact on the development of family education theory in later generations and feudal society. According to the characteristics of children's psychological development and the law of moral cultivation, he put forward family education thoughts such as moral education first, early family education, equal treatment, tempering justice with mercy, setting an example and attaching importance to educational environment, which can still give us positive enlightenment and useful reference even today.
First, "virtue" means "Shang"
In the traditional Confucian value system, there have been "three immortals" since ancient times ("Twenty-four years of Zuo Zhuan's" xianggong "):" There is virtue on the stage, and there is a saying under it: although it is not abolished for a long time, this is called immortality. " ), among the three, "Lide" is "too high". This value orientation with "virtue" as "virtue" has deeply influenced the educational concept of the ancients, so it pays special attention to ethical education for future generations. Although Yan Zhitui did not neglect the language education and skill education for his children, for example, "Family Instructions of Yan Family Phonology" said: "Although my son is small, I gradually supervise him; If you make a mistake, you think you are guilty. " [1] (p530) "Yan Family Training Mianxue" says: "When people are alive, they must have a job: farmers measure crops, merchants discuss goods and bribes, and use them with ingenuity ..." [1] (p143) "As the saying goes," [ But deeply influenced by Confucianism, he emphasized that education should be based on "morality".
(A) emphasize "respect for morality"
"Yan Jia Xun Cun Shi" clearly warned future generations: "A gentleman should keep the Tao and respect morality", [1](p334), and should not speculate and make profits simply for the promotion of official positions, and flatter powerful people with petty tricks. "Yan's family precepts: teaching children" says: "A scholar-bureaucrat in the Qi Dynasty said,' I have a son who is seventeen years old and quite knowledgeable. I want to teach him Xianbei language, play the pipa if I know a little, and serve the bureaucrats. They all like him, which is also very important. "I don't answer on my stomach. Different, this man's adopted son is also! If this industry, since the Qing dynasty, also don't want you to cao. " [1] (p 21) Yan Zhitui educates children and grandchildren. When studying, he should take "enhancing morality and strengthening customs" [1](p 157) as the first priority, and explicitly denied those short-sighted and narrow-minded family education ideas and practices at that time. Yan Zhitui also educated future generations to be loyal, courteous, respectful, frugal, benevolent and trustworthy. "Yan's Family Training Mianxue" says: "Those who don't know your business want to see the ancients not invade their position, and entrust their lives when they are in danger, and don't forget their sincerity (they should have been loyal and righteous, and should have been renamed to avoid the name of Emperor Wen of Sui Dynasty) to benefit the country, and they are sad but want to be effective; Those who are arrogant and extravagant want to see the courtesy and frugality of the ancients, humility and self-grazing, courtesy as the foundation of teaching, self-respect and self-loss, convergence and restraint; Simple and stingy people want to see the ancients' noble righteousness is more important than wealth, less selfish desires, avoiding surplus and evil fullness, ... "[1] (P 166)" Yan's family precepts return to the heart "says:" A gentleman lives in the world, but he can restrain himself and reciprocate, taking advantage of the times. " [1](p395) "Yan's Family Instructions Governing the Family" says: "You can be frugal, but you should not be stingy. Those who are thrifty, saving contracts is also called ceremony; Miser is poor and anxious. Today, giving is extravagant and frugality is stingy. If you can give without extravagance, you can be frugal and generous. " [1](p42) "Yan's family precepts to save things" says: "Good is prepared, evil is gone, not unjust. Any damage to something is nothing. ..... Mo Zhai's disciple is called Hot Belly, and Yang Zhu's companion is called Cold Intestine; Intestines should not be cold, and abdomen should not be hot. Speaking of benevolence and righteousness, it is a festival. " [1](p337-338) He even thought: "If you don't understand benevolence and righteousness, you should be careful not to be neighbors, let alone make friends?" [1](p406) "Family Instructions of Yan Family, Name and Reality" says: "Name and reality go hand in hand. A good name is a good virtue and skill; When the face is beautiful, the shadow is beautiful. Today, those who don't cultivate themselves and seek fame in the world are still ugly and blame Yan Ying for being in the mirror. The staff sergeant forgot his name, the staff sergeant established his name, and the corporal stole it. Those who forget the name, combine virtue with virtue, enjoy the blessing of ghosts and gods, and seek the name instead; People who are famous, self-cultivated and cautious are afraid that the concept of honor is not obvious, so they will become famous; Stealers are ugly, treacherous and vain, hence the name. " [1](p303) There is another cloud: "Fame is obviously a loss. I don't know if the future spear and halberd will ruin what I did before." [1](p306) He also taught his descendants that they should sharpen their moral integrity as soon as possible with the negative example of "189 years old, learning is little tempered, learning is natural and difficult to wash away" [1](p4).
(B) Pay attention to family ethics education
As the saying goes, "home and everything prosper" and "home and everything prosper". The ancients in China paid special attention to the harmony of family relations, and advocated the Confucian ethics of "loyalty to the husband and obedience to the wife", "filial piety to the father" and "respect for brothers and friends". Yan Zhitui believed in Confucianism and attached great importance to the harmony and goodwill of family relations. "Yan Family Instructions Brothers" says: "A husband has one person and then a couple, and a couple then a father and son, and a father and son then a brother. A close family, this is three and one. Since then, as for the nine families, all of them are mainly three relatives. Therefore, people who seriously join the group must be embarrassed. " [1] (p23) Therefore, we pay special attention to educating future generations on family ethics with Confucian family ethics standards, coordinating family ethics relations, cultivating family members' family ethics and forming good family ethics.
Second, family education should be done as early as possible.
Yan Zhitui believes that the earlier the family education for the younger generation, the better. Otherwise, it will affect the development of children's life. "Yan Family Training Mianxue" said: "Life is still young, and the spirit is patented. If you want to think about it when you grow up, you must teach early and don't miss the opportunity." [1] (p172) In other words, children have great plasticity, so we should pay close attention to educating children when they are single-minded, and don't wait until the children grow up and become lazy, then we will lose the best period of child education. The educational thought of early childhood education reflects Yan Zhitui's positive attitude in family education and his understanding of individual cognition and moral cultivation, which still has positive enlightenment for early family education today. Of course, Yan Zhitui emphasized the importance of early education and early learning, but he didn't think that once he lost early education, he could give up on himself. But definitely affirmed the feasibility and necessity of studying late and teaching late. "Yan Jiaxun Mianxue" pointed out: "Confucius said:' It's okay to learn Yi for fifty years. "... Xun Qing began to study at the age of 50 and still recognized Confucianism; Gong was in his forties when he read Spring and Autumn Annals and became prime minister. He also pointed out: "Young scholars are like the light of the moon; Old scholars, like candlelight at night, are still virtuous and have no eyes to see. " [1](p 173) It can be seen that although "Family Instructions of Yan Family" agrees with "teaching girls to be new, teaching children to teach babies", [1]8 Once you lose the opportunity of early education, you can still be a late bloomer as long as you work hard. [2](p273)
Third, treat everyone equally.
Yan Zhitui advocated that parents should love each child equally, and should not favor one over the other, which deviated from the parent-child approach and was not conducive to the growth of children and the harmony and stability of families. "Yan's family precepts and godson" says: "People love their sons, which is rare and can be flat; There have been many disadvantages since ancient times. A virtuous man can enjoy love, but a stubborn man should be reserved. Favorite people, although they want to be thick, are even more unfortunate. " [1] (p19) Therefore, any small preference of parents in treating their children will cause adverse reactions of children, lead to division among children, and affect the formation of children's good character. Spoiled people are often arrogant; People who are left out may give up on themselves and lose the courage and confidence to make progress. Therefore, both "virtuous people" and "stubborn people" should be treated equally. [3](p339) Although most families in China have only one child at present, they enjoy all the love of their parents, and there is no partiality for parents to love their children. However, there are still a few families with two or more children. Their parents should treat them equally, love them, educate them, and create development opportunities for them, regardless of gender, beauty, ugliness, naughty, wisdom and stupidity. In addition, the current "one-child" policy is very different from the "family planning" policy as a basic national policy. This is just a stopgap measure. In the long run, most children in China may not be "only children" in the future. At that time, loving and raising children equally will become an important principle in family education.
Fourth, be strict and kind.
Since ancient times, China has had the concepts of "adoptive father is wrong", "loving mother fails her son" and "filial son does not have a loving father's family". Oppose to spoil children, only love not to teach; Emphasize the importance and necessity of family education and the authority of parents in family life and family education. This concept of family education has had a far-reaching impact on Yan Zhitui. Moreover, Yan Zhitui lost his parents in his early years and lived with his brother. His brother showed him more kindness than severe education, which led him to a bumpy road. Therefore, Yan Zhitui particularly emphasized that it is not enough to have love for children, but to combine love with education and strict education. "Yan's family precepts and godson" says: "If parents are dignified and kind, their children will be timid and filial." [1] (P8) This exhortation is really insightful and thought-provoking, and it is worth remembering by parents. However, while advocating the combination of strictness and goodness, Yan Zhitui still has a tendency to unilaterally affirm the harsh and rude godson. Yan's Family Instructions Governing the Family says: "If anger is wasted at home, it will be overdone", [1](p4 1) thinks that corporal punishment with sticks is a necessary means to discipline children. "Family Instructions of Yan Family" also affirmed the extreme practice of Mrs. Wei, the mother, to her son, that "if she is not satisfied, she can make meritorious service" [1](p 13). This feudal paternalistic style and rude concept of family education should be abandoned. As some scholars have pointed out, corporal punishment is fundamentally a compulsory and negative way of education. Although it can achieve a temporary and superficial effect, it often distorts the personality of the educated and affects the physical and mental health of the educated, and its effect will not last long. [4]
Since 1970s and 1980s, the only child has become a common phenomenon in society, and almost every parent regards it as the "apple of his eye". Under the overindulgence and meticulous care of parents, many selfish, willful, fragile, withdrawn and lazy "little emperors" have been created, and many parents have fallen into extreme contradictions and anxiety. As parents, we should remember that doting is not true love, doting is like killing a child! Of course, too strict tutoring is the physical and mental destruction of children, which is not conducive to the healthy growth of children. Therefore, to implement family education, we must organically combine kindness with majesty, seriousness with democracy; Love without education or strict family education cannot achieve the best effect of education. This is true of family education, and so is school education. Teachers love and respect students, which does not mean doting, conniving and conniving students, but combining love with strict requirements. Love is not strict, not true love; Being strict without love is not a real way of education. [5](p90)
Five, precept by example
Yan Zhitui believes that parents and other family members are closely related to children, and their words and deeds have a subtle influence on children. Especially for early family education, the inculcation of parents and close people is more likely to arouse children's emotional ripples, gain children's trust and achieve good educational results. "preface to Yan Jia Xun" said: "the husband believes in the same words and believes in his relatives; Walk with the same life and do what you serve. It is better to forbid boys' violence and banter than to give orders from Fu's handmaid. If you want to stop the dispute between mortals, it is better to be widowed. " [1] (p1) Yan Zhitui attaches great importance to example, and pays more attention to setting an example. He called the role of parents and other people in a superior position "weathering". This kind of "weathering" is a natural imitation and does not need the coercion of superiors. The effect of educational probation depends entirely on the words and deeds of superiors. "Yan's Family Instructions Governing the Family" says: "Those who are greedy from the top also follow from the bottom, and top-down also applies to the latter. It is because the father is unkind, the son is unfilial, the brother is disrespectful, the husband is unjust, and the woman is not smooth. " [1] (P 41) Yan Zhitui believes that the upward trend leads to the downward trend. Therefore, parents should first strengthen their own moral cultivation, correct themselves first, and then play an exemplary role, constantly edify and sincerely infect their children, in order to receive good educational results, form good family morality and cultivate good moral quality for their children and grandchildren. This thought and Confucius's "integrity, doing things without orders; His body is not right, although he does not obey. " [6](p 134) "If you can't look straight, what is the right person?" [6](p 136) and Mencius's "The body can't do things, the wife can't; People can't walk, they can't walk their wives. " [7](p327) Paying attention to the inheritance and development of the thought of teaching by example is still of great significance and value for today's family education, especially family moral education.
Sixth, pay attention to the educational environment
Paying attention to the influence of educational environment on children is a fine tradition of family education in China. The story of "Three Major Movements in Meng Mu" is a household name. Mozi and Xunzi, ancient educators, once said that "being dyed in the sky is pale, and being dyed in yellow is dim" [8](p 1 1) and "being born in hemp" respectively, and they couldn't help but straighten up. White sand is nirvana, and it is black. [9](p3) "Living in Chu and Chu, living in Yue Yue, living in Xia Yue." [9](p96) vividly summarizes the great influence of the environment on people. Yan Zhitui inherited this tradition of family education, and combined with his own personal experience, especially emphasized the influence of objective environment on children's education. "Yan's" Family Instructions Muxian "says:" People are young, and their expressions are uncertain. So they are indifferent to learning, imperceptibly, and naturally. "[1] (p127-128) means that when people are young, they have strong plasticity and close contacts with sages, which will influence each other subtly, and their words and deeds will naturally follow their footsteps, thus forming good moral quality." Yan's "Family Instructions Mu Xian" says: "It is born with kindness, like entering the room, and the fragrance will last for a long time; Being with the wicked is like entering the land of abalone, which stinks. Mozi is sad to dye silk, so it is also called. A gentleman should be careful in making friends. "[1](p 128) So getting along with good people is like entering a room full of herbs. After a long time, you will become fragrant; Getting along with the wicked is like entering a shop full of abalone. After a long time, you will stink. When Mozi saw the dyed silk, he lamented what color the dyed silk would become, which was the reason. Yan Zhitui warned future generations to choose good teachers and friends, live with good people, live with good people and make friends with good people, revealing the important influence of people's moral character in interpersonal communication on their own personality development. This family education thought, which pays attention to the environment and emphasizes the careful selection of teachers and friends, reflects an objective law of moral cultivation and has universal application value.
Conclusion of intransitive verbs
As a monograph on family instructions for future generations, Family Instructions for Yan was formed and handed down in the specific historical and cultural background, family cultural environment and personal life experience in ancient China. The family education thought contained in it inevitably bears the imprint of the times, is restricted by specific class relations, represents the requirements of specific classes, embodies the values of specific classes, and has certain historical and class limitations. For example, the concept of family education, which embodies feudal paternalism, such as advocating "husbands obey wives" and affirming severe punishment and severe laws, runs counter to the concept of equality and democracy in modern family education and should be resolutely criticized and denied. Yan Jiaxun expounds the family education thoughts that conform to the universal law of family education, such as moral education first, early family education, equal treatment, tempering justice with mercy, teaching by example and attaching importance to educational environment. They have eternal value beyond time and space, and even today they have not lost their theoretical brilliance, which is worth exploring, refining and critically inheriting, and gives positive enlightenment to modern family education.
[References]
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