But the question is what books to read?
What books on interpersonal relationships do you recommend?
Two books, EQ 12 and Communication and Persuasion 12, are highly recommended. I suggest that you can read these two books completely and word for word, which will certainly be of great help to your interpersonal relationship and social skills. Note that these two books are only available in official website 12Reads. To avoid advertising, please choose your own title.
Moreover, I personally suggest that the reading order of these two books is 1, EQ required reading 12, communication and persuasion required reading 12. To improve interpersonal relationships and social skills, we must start from the root. Obviously, both books have successfully grasped the social foundation.
Are there any other books of this kind? Of course, but first of all, I don't think it's worth recommending. Second, reading these two books is enough, so don't waste too much time. You can also do this socially! Of course, if you have a lot of money and energy to waste, forget it.
Other letters of recommendation can be directly ignored by the landlord, believe my experience! Some people even recommend books on hotel management. I can only say hehe!
The following are some digressions, which you can read or not. It's all tricks!
First, several ways to improve interpersonal skills:
1. Take part in more social activities. You can start from the field you are most interested in or good at, and gradually expand outward.
2. When attending activities, open yourself up and take the initiative to meet strangers. You can start with the same-sex friend sitting next to you.
3. After a preliminary understanding, take the initiative to exchange contact information with friends who have a good impression on each other and keep further contact.
4. Introduce new friends you know to old friends who may be interested (with the consent of old friends in advance), expand your circle of friends by snowballing, and gradually make yourself a "bridge link" in this circle.
5. Try to expand your knowledge, improve your self-cultivation and cultivate your special skills. In the face of new and old friends, I can always raise some hot topics, so that others can feel that being friends with you can enrich themselves, and let others always want to put you on the invitation list when calling small parties.
I have worked for several years and got a lot of guidance from my predecessors. I think it is really effective to share some tips that seniors often use! Of course, I've tried many times ~
There are two kinds of social interaction, virtual social interaction (network) and real social interaction (reality). In the network society, everything is important. SNS, Weibo, Zhihu and other virtual social activities can build personal brands and win the trust of others. It is also easy for a virtual relationship to develop into a real relationship, and there is no strangeness in reality, provided that you are the same online and offline. Really socialize, be yourself first, and don't be too utilitarian in communication. Expand from the small circle around you (colleagues and classmates) to strangers and turn strangers into friends.
Listening, proper words and deeds, attention to appearance and sincere concern for others can all give you extra points.
1. Have a cup of coffee before social activities. Caffeine and related dopamine will make you look happy and gregarious.
2. Before being with friends, lift weights or exercise for an hour. Endorphins and related dopamine will make you look happy and gregarious.
3. Wait a minute before entering the door. As long as you rest for a minute, your hormones will change and you will look happy and relaxed.
When you are talking in a group of people, try to look at everyone at least once.
5. Communicate with nervous people more, make them feel comfortable and leave a positive influence on them.
6. If your palms are sweaty, put two handkerchiefs/tissues in your pocket and wipe them clean before shaking hands.
7. Regardless of your interaction, leave with a positive attitude. Smiling and positive gratitude are very effective.
8. Remember the names of the people you meet. Remember some special things about this person: such as where he studied, his hometown, graduation subjects, any special interests. This shows that you are trying to get to know him.
9. If someone's behavior is different from what you expected, don't break out immediately. Time out. Once your mood has stabilized, use your brain to think about how to act.
10, if an old man talks about his generation and their affairs, don't be angry. They didn't compare their generation with ours. He may be missing his youth.
social meaning
Communication, that is, communication between people, usually refers to the process of two or more people exchanging opinions, feelings and information through language, behavior and other expressions. It is a social activity that people use certain tools to transmit information and exchange ideas in order to achieve a certain purpose.
Principles of establishing good interpersonal relationships
Respect principle
Respect includes self-esteem and respect for others. Self-esteem means respecting yourself in all kinds of situations, maintaining your dignity and not giving up on yourself. Respecting others means respecting others' living habits, hobbies, personalities and values. Only by respecting others can you get their respect.
principle of good faith
Only by being honest with others and lacking talents can we produce emotional voices and gain true friendship. No one likes hypocrisy, and how much rhetoric will be defeated.
Tolerance principle
In interpersonal communication, some unpleasant things will inevitably happen, and even some contradictions and conflicts will occur. At this time, we should learn to tolerate others and not haggle over every ounce. This is called taking a step back and broadening the horizon. People don't attack me, I don't attack. The first person to attack me, concede three points. Don't get into interpersonal disputes because of trivial matters, as we will waste a lot of time and become selfish and insignificant.
Principle of mutually beneficial cooperation
Mutual benefit means that both sides can meet each other's needs and get each other's rewards at the same time. Interpersonal communication is always a two-way choice and two-way interaction. You've been here for a long time. In the process of communication, the two sides should care about and love each other, not only consider common interests, but also deepen their feelings.
Understanding principle
Understanding is a necessary prerequisite for the success of interpersonal communication. Understanding is to really understand each other's situation, mood, likes and dislikes, needs and so on. And can care about each other from the heart. There is a saying that "a thousand dollars is easy to get, but a bosom friend is hard to find". The sea of people is boundless, and bosom friends are precious! An understanding person is always welcome.
Equality rule
Treat people equally, don't love the rich and hate the poor, and don't treat them differently because of their origins, status and authority. Treat people as equals, and don't be overbearing and arrogant. Treating others equally means learning to look at others' hearts and put yourself in others' shoes. Only by treating others equally can we be treated equally by others.