In the past, the son of heaven had seven ministers, although there was no way, he did not lose the world; There are five princes vying for ministers. Although there is no way, they have not lost their country. Doctors have three contending ministers, although they have no way, they don't lose; If a reader has friends, he will never leave your name; If a father has a son, he will not fall into injustice. Therefore, the son will contend with the father and the minister will contend with the king for unjust things. Therefore, how can we be filial in an unjust dispute from the father's order? "
This is a passage in chapter 15 of the exhortation to filial piety. In the previous fourteen chapters, due to Ceng Zi's questions, Confucius discussed how to be filial to parents, how to reassure parents, how to stand on the street and how to make a name for himself. Therefore, Ceng Zi said here: "If you are kind, respectful, safe and famous, you will be famous." Knowing so much, I dare to ask the teacher: Is it filial to obey my father's instructions as a son? Is it filial to obey your father's orders?
Confucius immediately replied: what is this! What is this! Repeat "What is this?" I am very opposed to this statement. Then he went on to say that in the classes of emperors, governors, doctors and scholars, no matter who they are, someone needs to stand up and say that correcting their mistakes will not ruin the country and ruin their reputation.
In the family, "if a father has a son, he will not fall into injustice", and the father should have children to persuade him to be negligent and not to do inhuman and unjust things. Therefore, when encountering immoral things, children can't help but advise their father, and officials can't help but advise your husband-"So, if you are unjust, your children can't compete with your father, and ministers can't compete with your husband."
Finally, Confucius concluded that "injustice must be fought for, how can you be filial according to the father's orders?" When parents are wrong, how can they be filial only by obeying orders?
Confucius' meaning is very clear, which is completely different from inherit the wind's argument. In this case, it is of course the responsibility of parents to exhort their children who have made mistakes, but the motivation and attitude of exhortation should be clear, as mentioned in the Book of Filial Piety and The Analects of Confucius. As Confucius said, "My parents admonished me several times, but I don't complain if they don't follow my wishes and are disrespectful."
First of all, when parents make small mistakes, they should protest as soon as possible so as not to delay the opportunity. If parents refuse to accept it, they should respect it, find opportunities to persuade them as much as possible, and don't complain even if they work hard. This is the right thing.
So how to judge right and wrong, good and evil, and how to distinguish between justice and injustice when exhorting parents? How to grasp the discretion in reality? This requires a certain degree of cultivation and wisdom, which is not something that can be done by personal assumptions or drifting with the flow.
Because when our moral cultivation and wisdom cultivation are relatively lacking, we are not qualified and unable to persuade our parents, so filial piety, like other virtues, needs to be done on the premise of self-cultivation, and all this is empty talk. Only by in-depth study, learning from saints and truly understanding the spirit of China culture can we achieve wisdom, rationality, loyalty and filial piety in line with the way of nature.
Extended data
The Book of Filial Piety also makes systematic and complicated provisions on the requirements and methods of filial piety. To show parents "is the end of filial piety." It is advocated that "filial piety" should "serve relatives, serve the monarch in the middle, and finally stand on its own feet", and according to the life process of father's birth, illness and death. Put forward the specific requirements of "filial piety": "Life is to respect him, to raise him is to enjoy him, and illness is to worry about him, mourn him, sacrifice him and be strict with him".
Dr. Qing's "filial piety" is "not arrogant and impetuous, high but not dangerous, restrained and restrained, full but not overflowing"; Dr. Qing's "filial piety" requires everything to be done first in Wang Zhidao, "Don't break your word, don't say no, do it as a last resort"; The "filial piety" of the scholar class is loyalty and obedience, protecting Lu's position and keeping sacrifices; Shu Ren's "filial piety" should be "using heaven, sharing the benefits of land, and using it cautiously with adoptive parents".
The Book of Filial Piety also links moral norms with law, and proposes to borrow the authority of national laws to maintain moral order.
The Book of Filial Piety has long been regarded as a classic of "Confucius narrates and sets an example for future generations", which has played a great role in spreading and maintaining social ethics.