Learn from Confucius (1)

When I was in middle school, reading The Analects of Confucius often made people nervous about benevolence, courtesy and gentlemen. Confucius at that time was a pedantic old man who was unsmiling in my heart and hung the truth in his mouth all day. A few days ago, on a whim, I found Mr. Yang Bojun leafing through The Analects of Confucius, and suddenly found that Confucius had a humorous language and sharp words, just like a master of spitting. Below I extract a few words from Confucius' tucao for tucao entertainment.

This junior high school textbook has been selected, and I believe everyone who has read junior high school can come easily. Therefore, Zhong You, that is, Luz, is only older than Confucius Xiao Jiu, and seems to be the oldest among Confucius, but he is also the person who was buried by Confucius the most. I don't know what I said this day, which made Confucius frown and spit on Luz's face: "Zhongyou! Tell me about your attitude! Knowing is knowing, not knowing is not knowing, this is wisdom! "

Luz: I just installed an X. Is it worth the teacher spraying me like this?

Zi Gong, surnamed Duanmu, was given a name. I don't know if he sponsored more than half of Duanmurong's grandfathers, big businessmen and Confucius to travel around the world in the bright moon of Qin Dynasty. One day I asked Confucius on a whim, "Teacher, what do you think of me?" Confucius raised his eyelids slightly and glanced at him. You are the container of things. Zigong refused to give up and asked, "What utensils?" Confucius said, "Hu Lian." Hu Lian is a noble vessel for holding food when offering sacrifices to ancestors of heaven and earth. Zi Gong was very happy after hearing this. Teachers praised me as an outstanding Hu Lian. Of course, he didn't know that Confucius once said, "A gentleman is useless." .

Zigong: Teacher, am I really good when you are so black?

Confucius asked Zigong, "Which is better, you or Yan Hui?" Yan Yuan is Confucius' favorite student. Knowing that Confucius liked Yan Hui a little more, Zi Gong modestly replied, "How dare I compare with Yan Hui? He heard that one thing can know ten things, and I know two at most. " Confucius nodded: "Well, I agree. You are really inferior to him. "

Zi gong: . Teacher, I'm just modest. . .

I don't know what medicine I took. I went to Confucius and said, "I don't want to be bullied, and I don't want to bully others." Confucius did not even look up: "Duanmu Ci, this is not something you can do."

Zi Gong: The baby is wronged and wants to cry.

Confucius buried not only the living, but also the dead. Ji Wenzi thought about everything three times before acting. Long after his death, Confucius heard about it and said, "Think twice before you act."

What's the difference between twice and three times?

Even Xia Zi could not escape Confucius' spittle. Xia Zi didn't know what Confucius couldn't see, so Confucius said to Xia Zi, "You should be a gentleman's Confucianism, not a villain's Confucianism!"

Xia Zi: Teacher, can you swallow your saliva?

Confucius encountered some setbacks one day and his self-confidence was hit. He said gloomily, "If my path really fails one day, I will float to the sea on a raft, and Zhong You will probably follow me." Luz was so happy that the teacher finally praised me. Unexpectedly, Confucius went on to say, "Zhong You is really brave and has surpassed me. There is really nothing else to recommend. "

Luz: Teacher, are you praising me or scolding me?