The Six Rites are ancient Chinese wedding rituals, as described in the ancient book "Book of Rites." It is uploaded in "Hunli": "Those who are in Wanli will combine the good of the two surnames, and the upper ones will serve the ancestral temple, and the lower ones will inherit the descendants, so the gentleman attaches great importance to it. Therefore, the Wanli accepts the favor, asks the name, accepts the auspiciousness, and accepts the levy. When you come to the temple, the host will greet you outside the door. When you enter, you will bow to the temple and obey the orders of the temple. Therefore, you should be respectful and careful in the evening rituals. "In addition, "Yili" says: "There are six rituals in the evening. These are the traditional customs of "Six Marriage Rituals" that were created in the Western Zhou Dynasty and followed by all dynasties.
"Six Rites" refers to the six etiquettes, which refer to the entire marriage process from proposal to marriage. As the proverb goes: "If there are no clouds in the sky, it will not rain; if there is no matchmaker underground, there will be no marriage." Another "Meng Liang Lu." Volume 20: "The god of marriage depends on the matchmaker first." Therefore, the matchmaker is an indispensable and important figure in concluding a marriage. [1]
That is, the man's family invites a matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's family. After the woman's family agrees to discuss the marriage, the man's family goes to propose before preparing gifts
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"Nacai" is the first of the six rites. "Book of Rites. Hunyi" says: "The person who accepts the choice is called the gift of selection. Therefore, the gift of acceptance is issued, and the acceptance is adopted." Qin Huitian of the Qing Dynasty explained: "If you want to marry him, you must first let the matchmaker come down. According to his words, the woman's promise is a gift for others to accept her choice. "It means that the man's family proposes to the woman's family, and the matchmaker will convey it on his behalf. After the girl's family agrees, they will accept the wedding gifts from the boy's family. Use "雁" to accept gifts. "Etiquette Master's Faun Li" "There are six dun rites, five of which use wild geese, including nacai, asking for names, naji, asking for dates, and personally welcoming." As for why "yan" is used? "The Ritualist Hun Li" states: "If you use wild geese as zhi, choose the ones that move along the yin and yang." "Bai Hu Tong. Marriage Chapter" says: "Those who use wild geese, choose the ones that move north and south at any time without losing their integrity. It is a time when women are not taken away. The ceremony of marrying is done in an orderly manner, and there is no need to kill pheasants, so geese are used. "White Goose, Late Autumn Naitangsi Kao" says: "Ancient and Modern Poetry": Come, frost falls, which is called frost letter." Lang Ying's "Seven Revised Class Drafts" believes that ": Wild Goose, the bird knows the time when all books stop talking. . There is a sequence of actions. Therefore, it is necessary to hold on to the zhi and accept it." In addition, the book "Yi Wen Lei Ju" also explains the reason for using geese from other angles: "The geese wait for yin and yang, and they wait for the time." South, Xia and North have their place."
According to the above opinions, the use of wild geese in nacai and other weddings has three meanings. One is the exchange of yin and yang, the meaning of a woman obeying her husband. As the saying goes, "geese and trees fall to the south, and ice spreads across the north." The husband is yang and the woman is yin. If you use geese, it means that the woman obeys her husband. The second is to never lose time and never lose integrity. Geese are migratory birds, and when autumn passes and spring comes, they never break their promises. The above three meanings, one of which is the exchange of yin and yang, and the woman obeying her husband, are obviously conjectures of Han Confucians and are inconsistent with the facts of the pre-Qin Dynasty. The latter two views each have their own merits. If we only look at migratory birds, it seems that righteousness is not enough to prove it. Swallows live in the north and south according to time, so why do they only use geese? It seems that using geese not only means losing time, but also has the meaning of orderly movement. The geese fly by migration, with the old and strong leading the way, and the young and weak following behind, never crossing over. The orderliness of the elders and the younger is one of the important principles of Confucian etiquette. Applying this principle to marriages, so that the elders and the younger are in an orderly manner, and not as a last resort, so that the uncle and the younger brother will not get married beyond the brothers, is in line with the Confucian spirit. This kind of orderly behavior is not found in other migratory birds except geese, so geese are used as the zhi of the Five Rituals. In addition to the above meanings, using wild geese at that time also had the meaning of being together forever and not marrying again. During the Zhou Dynasty, the custom of lifelong marriage had been advocated by society. Of course, loyalty to the end does not only refer to a woman’s unswerving loyalty to a man, it is equally meaningful to a man. In a monogamous agricultural society, small farmer families are required to maintain a certain degree of stability. This is not only a need for society, but also a need for small farmer families themselves. This kind of situation is reflected many times in the Book of Songs. "Poetry Bei Feng. Beating the Drum" ": The relationship between life and death is broad, and you will grow old with your son; if you hold your son as a person, you will grow old with your son." "Zheng Feng. The girl said the rooster crows" ": It is better to drink alcohol and grow old with your son." "Poetry" "Wang Feng. Cart": "The valley is in a different room, and the death is in the same cave." The poem strongly reflects people's good wishes for their spouses to never divorce and grow old together. In order to strengthen social needs or always remind people of their behavioral concepts in family life, Hongyan, which has the attribute of "from one to the end", is introduced into the wedding. Therefore, the five rituals use wild geese, and the reason is that the migratory bird "wild goose" also has the connotation of social needs for people's marriage issues
That is, the man's family invites a matchmaker to ask the woman's name and date of birth. day.
There are two kinds of names. One is the given name, which is the name given to a woman in three months after she was born. The second is the name of the name, that is, taking the surname as the name. As for the men's names, they have already been notified when accepting the offer, so only the women's names are asked, not the men's names. Geese are still used as gifts when asking for names. The sequence of etiquette is "The guest holds the goose, asks for the name, the host agrees, the guest enters, and the ceremony is given, just like the first ceremony." There are two purposes of asking for names:
The first is to prevent the marriage of close relatives with the same surname;
The second is to use the date of birth obtained by asking for names to divine whether the marriage of the person concerned is suitable.
That is, after the man retrieves the woman’s name and horoscope, he performs divination in the ancestral temple. After getting a good omen, he prepares a gift and informs the woman's family that they have decided to get married. Zheng Xuan's note: "I returned to the temple for divination and got a good omen. I sent an envoy to report it, and the marriage was decided."
It is also called Nabi, which means that the man's family sends betrothal gifts to the woman's family.
"Naji" and "Nazheng" are often performed together.
This is the main procedure for engagement. Ningbo people call it "wen Ding" and Ninghai people call it "Xia Ding". That is, the man sends a bride price to the woman, usually in kind or in lieu of money. Ningbo custom is based on the age of the woman, one load of old wine is given for one year old, and 16 packs of wine are given for those who are 16 years old. The bride price is approximately 48 silver dollars. In some places, rice is also used to calculate the price. A load of rice per year is worth about the same as old wine. In this ceremony, both parties use red and green gold calligraphy, also called "dragon and phoenix calligraphy." The posts are all auspicious words, but there is a certain formula. The man writes: "I admire the beauty of the pot, I have admired the four virtues for a long time, a thousand pieces of gold and a promise, and the light shines on the wall." "It's a perfect fit, Qixiang is extremely ashamed, and Jiuxiang is celebrating" and other words.
The groom’s family chooses a wedding date, prepares a gift and informs the bride’s family, and asks for their approval.
"It is a ritual to ask for an auspicious day to welcome the bride." That is to say, choosing a date in the modern sense. "Etiquette. Shihunli" says: "Please use wild geese for the date, the host will say goodbye, and the guests will announce the date, such as accepting gifts." The groom's family determines the auspicious day for the marriage through divination and asking the gods, that is, Send someone to inform the girl's family and ask for their opinions.
That is, the groom goes to the bride’s house to marry her.
It is the last step of the six rites, that is, the groom goes to the bride’s house to marry the bride in person. There are two meanings of "welcome": one expresses the inheritance of matrilineal customs after the transition from the wife's home system to the husband's home system. The man goes to the bride's house in person to greet the bride, showing respect for the woman. But at the same time, it also contains the fact that the arrival of the marriage system of living with the husband is irreversible, and shows the strong desire of men to live with the husband. In the pre-Qin period, people attached great importance to personal greetings. From the emperor to the common people, this ritual was often performed. "Wen Ding Jue Xiang, personally welcome the Wei." It was for King Wen of Zhou to get a good omen, and after Nazheng got engaged, he personally welcomed his wife. On the shore of the Wei River. "The Marquis of Han greets and stops, and in the midst of the attack, there are hundreds of pengpeng vehicles and eight luan clangs." It is a grand occasion for the princes to welcome them personally. On the other hand, if you do not get married through a personal welcoming ceremony, it will be considered unethical and will be ridiculed by the world. Therefore, Ban Gu said that Confucius's "Spring and Autumn Annals" contained praise and criticism, "ridiculing but not personally welcoming". At that time, personal welcoming was regarded as the basic basis for whether the relationship between husband and wife was completely established. If the husband dies before they are married, the daughter can remarry. However, once the wedding ceremony is held and the husband dies, according to etiquette and customs, the bride has no choice but to accept her fate and "end together."
The completion of the six rites only means that the ceremony of becoming a wife has been completed, and the "visiting aunt and uncle", which is the ceremony of becoming a wife, must be completed on the next day; if the parents-in-law are deceased, it will be completed after three months Visiting the family temple to worship the gods of parents-in-law is called "Temple Meeting".
The Six Rites began in slave society. Although the marriage procedures in feudal society have undergone several changes, they have basically not departed from the scope of the six rites. There are similar provisions in Tang and Ming laws. This marriage procedure is a combination of arranged forced marriage and purchased marriage, and is full of strong superstition.
Usually combined with [Three Books], it is called [Three Books and Six Rites].