Who was Confucius’ wife? I'm afraid many people don't know. In the recorded words and deeds of Confucius, there is not a single word about his wife. There have been many scholars who studied Confucius throughout the ages, but I have never seen anyone who specialized in studying his wife. To many, this person does not seem to exist. But Confucius must have a wife. Because, the Analects of Confucius records Confucius’s godson and married daughter. Since there are sons and daughters, it can be seen that Confucius must have a wife. The first person to provide information about Confucius' wife was Wang Su during the Three Kingdoms period.
What kind of woman is she who can start a family and have children with a saint? What is the demeanor of a saint’s wife? Everyone is probably eager and curious.
Confucius had a rough life. He lost his father soon after his birth and his mother when he was seventeen. Although Confucius had nine sisters and one brother, they were all half-brothers. Confucius's younger brother Meng Pi was disabled and lame. Confucius could get married without the help of brothers and sisters. That a "poor and humble" orphan could marry a wife and have children by his own ability not only illustrates Confucius' outstanding character, words and deeds, but also proves that the girl who had a crush on him was indeed thoughtful and discerning.
The Analects of Confucius, the Year of the Family, the Suoyin Year, the Family Language, the Rites of the Tan Gong Year, the Rites of the Tan Gong Year, the Rites of Justice, the Dade Rites, the Analects of Confucius, Year 0 Year 0 Year 00 Year 0755 0755- 000年0755-79090000年00年0755
Guan Qi’s family, like Confucius, are descendants of the Song Dynasty. They have the same origin in national culture, so naturally they have more similarities. In 533 BC, Confucius married a daughter of the Song Dynasty in accordance with his mother's last wish. At the age of 9, Confucius married Guan Qi's wife, and a year later, Guan Qi's son was born. Once someone sent a carp to congratulate him. Confucius felt very honored and named his son Carp. His name was Yu Bo. Later, Guan Qi also gave birth to a daughter. They have children and life is supposed to be a "good" one. However, according to some ancient books, Confucius divorced his wife after giving birth to a son for Confucius. He was the first Chinese celebrity to be involved in divorce. However, it was not called "divorce" at that time, it was called "divorce from wife" or "divorce from wife". It was once called "divorce".
We naturally wonder why Confucius got divorced, but there is no record in the history books. We can see the specific data that proves that the relationship between their husband and wife is not good, which is the record of 0:
The fish mother was still crying when she died. When the teacher heard this, he said: "Who is crying?" The man said: "Carp." The owner: "Hey! Even so!" "The fish smelled it and then got rid of it.
Confucius' When his mother passed away a year ago, his son Kong Li cried because he missed his mother, and Confucius scolded him for being too cold. From Confucius' rebuke to Kong Li, we can feel that their relationship was too cold. It is said that "Confucius was married in three generations", Confucius, Kong Li, and Confucius' grandson Kong_ were all divorced.
There are many debates in history about whether Confucius was "married" and why. Confucius was married in 0. Nian's explanation of this article is: Although Kong Li's mother was abdicated by Confucius at that time, Kong Li, as her son, could still mourn for her within one year after her death, and Confucius believed that she should not cry. This was against etiquette and blamed Confucius.
Today, due to our age and limited information, it is difficult to determine the reason why Confucius wanted to divorce his wife. From a personal perspective, the root causes are probably in the following aspects:
It was the establishment of official positions that annoyed Confucius. He listed the rules and reasons for "divorcing your wife": "A woman divorces seven times: she disobeys her parents. It violates virtue; having no children means that he is a peerless person; Yin means that he has disturbed the family; Xianzhi means that he has disturbed the family; having a bad disease means that he cannot share with each other; talking too much means that he is separated; being a thief means that he is rebelling. righteous. "Compared with these standards, Guan Kai's family made the mistake of "talking too much". Talking too much is a common problem among women, and talking too much means nagging. Women always like to nag, and men are most afraid of women nagging. You If you nag, I will turn a deaf ear. Who is Confucius? In order to follow the trend, Confucius set up a private school. Is it difficult for him to be scolded and ridiculed by his uneducated wife? Can you bear it? Let’s imagine, for example, if you talk too much, the meat brought by the student Yan Hui is too fat, and the chicken sent by the student is too thin. Confucius believed that if you talk too much, you will lose. A woman who even dares to ridicule her husband’s career. Why should I keep her?
Secondly, there is a big gap between Confucius and Guan Kai. It doesn’t matter if there is a slight gap between men and women. They complement each other and enhance the magnetism of the marriage. The problem is that the gap cannot be too large. If it is too big, the couple will not be the same. In the end, the couple will have nothing in common. Of course, the Guan family is a peasant woman. Confucius was not much better before he stood up at the age of 30. Even he himself admitted, “I am a bit cheap, so I can do many things with contempt. "Confucius once worked as a warehouse keeper, looked after pastures for others, etc. Everyone has no status. Everyone is a peasant class. You brought water to my garden, but it nourished your marriage.
However, Confucius later became a teacher. As a teacher, Confucius was deeply loved by his students and his parents. He also participated in politics, so his social status became higher and higher. But he had no food and no clothes.
The point is, Confucius has become a very smart man. In other words, what he pursues is spiritual life. However, his wife, Guan Kai's wife, was still standing still, rigid and unwilling to make progress, thinking that she had made great contributions to giving birth to children. In popular terms, Confucius and his wife had no love except sex. Later, because of his hatred, Confucius simply gave up "xing".
Third, Confucius and Guan Kai had nothing to say. The couple should have nothing to say, but when they finally have nothing to say, such a marriage must not be far from ending. There is nothing to say. Death is a symbol of Lao Yan's spinning. Contemporary Chinese-style divorce follows this path: no words - quarrel - reconciliation - quarrel again - reconciliation again - too lazy to quarrel - nothing to say - treated as a stranger - divorce separate. Unexpectedly, the histories are so strikingly similar. Confucius was also in an embarrassing situation at that time. Of course, it does not record Confucius's common married life, but reveals Confucius's "not eating or sleeping" living condition. In fact, this is also a portrayal of Confucius' marital fatigue. A man looks at his woman four times a day but doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to talk. What does this mean? It means that he is speechless, it means that he is holding his words in his stomach, it means that he really has no communication with her. Without the same language, there is only one way out: break up.