Hello poster:
Your situation is basically the same as mine when I first entered society. But this situation only lasted two years. Thinking about it now, we can summarize several aspects.
Career: First of all, we must clarify what kind of industry we are interested in. Only in the industry that we like, we will do it well and we will give 100% effort. Otherwise, even if this industry is profitable, it will not be satisfactory to you.
Love: Before choosing a partner, don’t look at the person’s background or how outstanding the person is. The key is whether you will be happy with this person and whether you will be happy. You say you are tired of love, the problem is not you, but that he is not someone who can bring you happiness. A lifetime's affairs cannot be determined overnight. When getting along, you should first think about whether this person will be as gentle and considerate as he is now in a few years, and try every means to make yourself happy.
As you said, this mountain also refers to the height of that mountain. This is too similar to me at the time, and this may not be a shortcoming. You can just step on the higher one, but what if there is no road on that mountain? Why do you have to force yourself? If you don’t go up the high mountain, you can’t come back from the low mountain. Wouldn't it be possible to gain nothing? You are only 20 years old this year, and you still have a long way to go. This period is a turning point in life. Many people will be confused because you are not mature now. You have your own ideas to decide your life, but you have no mature plan.
I would like to suggest that the poster should chat with his elders more and talk about his troubles. Wouldn’t you also talk about them? The elders all like you. This is your advantage. If you are not good, then why do the elders like you? Right? Talk about your ideas and let them help you give advice. After all, they have much more life experience than you.
I don’t know the poster very well, but what I can confirm is that the poster’s current situation is not what you call impetuous and carefree. It’s just the psychological state of most young people during this period. So you don't have to worry too much. A few years later, when I look back at this period of my life, I will definitely realize that I was just immature at that time, nothing more.
The above humble opinion, I hope it can be of some help to the original poster.