If you listen more to the sutras, listen to the Dharma more, and understand the principles, you will be able to tolerate them clearly and not forcefully suppress them.
Happy Life Lecture - How to be a truly good person according to the law. Lecture by Mr. Cai Lixu (Episode 5) 2004/11/21 Haikou Xiaolian Chinese Studies Enlightenment Center File Name: 52-115-05
When I was giving a lecture, a mother said that Chinese culture is very good, but how long can we endure this word? She frowned as she recounted this passage. I told her that your kind of forbearance is guaranteed to endure until the volcano erupts, and once the eruption occurs, all the previous efforts of forbearance will be wasted, so forbearance does not mean suppressing it. This kind of forbearance will cause problems sooner or later. Forbearance comes with understanding and forgiveness. For example, are some of your husband’s living habits the result of one or two days? no. You will understand clearly that those are some of the habits he has developed during his growth. Your communication with him should also slowly allow him to change these habits. It is impossible to reverse them all at once. So if you bring understanding, forgiveness, and tolerance, then the husband and wife will be tolerant and humble to each other, so you have to understand and forgive.