But in fact, this concept was used by Zeng Guofan as early as 100 years ago. The book "The Front and Side of Zeng Guofan" mentioned that Zeng Guofan knew the truth that "macro awards are used to educate talents" and educated his children in an encouraging and affirmative way.
For example, he asked his teachers at home to "praise his son more and more", so Ceng Jize "made great progress in understanding". He himself often encourages and affirms his eldest son's poetry and calligraphy: he says that his eldest son has a gift for calligraphy and his composition is good. For another son, Zeng Guofan never stingy praise. He said, "Honger's strong writing style is gratifying."
Thanks to his father's encouragement and support, Ceng Jize and his younger brother have a strong sense of self-efficacy, self-confidence, enthusiasm and perseverance. Finally, both brothers have achieved good results. Ceng Jize, the eldest son, became a calligrapher and taught himself English. During the Sino-Russian Ili negotiations, he took back a large area of land from Russia. The second son became an important mathematician in the late Qing Dynasty.
Zeng Guofan's parenting education is different from most of our parents in China. Those parents, speaking in front of their children is criticism and reprimand. No matter how good the child is, he won't praise you. If they don't scold you, they have been recognized by you.
Just like Jia Zheng, Jia Baoyu's father, he always scolds and belittles Baoyu, so that Jia Baoyu is afraid of his father, just like a mouse sees a cat. For example, Baoyu came to pay his respects and said that he would go to school. Jia Zheng sneered: "If you mention the word' school' again, even I will be ashamed to death." ? Another example is that Baoyu was tempted by Jia Zheng in the Grand View Garden. Baoyu has always performed well, but he has never received a word of affirmation and praise from his father.
Jia Zheng's suppression and denial of Baoyu constantly stifled Baoyu's liveliness and spirit. In the end, Baoyu not only didn't develop in the direction he expected, but became more and more unwilling to read "serious books" and became more eccentric.
Old parents like Jia Zheng are restricted in their ideas because of the times, so they mainly suppress their children's education. So now those parents with higher education will definitely treat their children better than Jia Zheng?
The truth is, not necessarily.
Let's say a friend around me. Graduated from a key university in 985 and worked as a senior manager in an enterprise. Usually, she often studies the courses of parenting education and understands the importance of positive education. But in daily life, she always educates her children by suppressing or throwing cold water on them. There is no unity of knowing and doing.
Her son is in the fifth grade of primary school. He doesn't study hard at ordinary times, so his grades are average. But the child likes sports very much. At a sports meeting, her son signed up for several sports events and got good results. For a time, the child became a man of the hour in the school, and happily shared his joy with his mother when he came back. Turns out my friend didn't take it. She looked at the child and said, "What's the use of showing off these things that have nothing to do with study? If you study as hard as the sports meeting, will your grades be so bad? " With a swish, a pot of cold water was used as a pledge, putting out the flaming flame in the child's heart, and the watered child faded like an eggplant beaten by frost.
Such a mother, hit the child's enthusiasm, hurt the child's heart, and she is not happy at the same time. It can be said that it hurts others and harms yourself.
Contemporary parents, please don't be stingy with encouragement and praise for your children. Please learn from Zeng Guofan's advanced concept of educating children and give others more encouragement and affirmation.
Because,
Your kind words will stimulate children's enthusiasm and improve their subjective initiative.
Your kind words have made your children, and your children's achievements are also making you.