People like to compliment others because everyone likes to compliment and satisfy vanity. Even those who usually say they hate compliments actually like to listen to them. The ancients paid great attention to speaking skills, and the compliment was clever, without revealing the dew or the slightest trace. It was just right, and the person who was complimented was comfortable and happy.
1, to his liking
It is necessary to know each other's hobbies, habits, even temper and emotions, grasp each other's psychological weaknesses, and choose things that the other party is really interested in to compliment, so that the other party feels very satisfied, so as to achieve the best results.
After his death, a scholar who was good at flattery came to the underworld and met the king of hell. Yan suddenly farted, and the scholar came forward to praise her, describing her farting as "the sound of silk and bamboo is as faint as the fragrance of musk orchid". Yan was overjoyed and gave him ten years of life and returned to the world.
It is also unique that the ass is photographed in this state. Flattery is also technical, and naked flattery is often not as silent as implicit polishing.
2. Compliments please everyone.
The world thinks that flattery is poor, and Liu is even worse. On one occasion, Liu, a college student, accompanied him out for a walk when he was dealing with government affairs in the summer resort. When he entered the Buddha Temple, a Maitreya Buddha seemed to be smiling at Gan Long. Gan Long's heart moved and he thought of a difficult problem. Looking back, he asked, "Liu, why do you think Maitreya smiled at me?" Liu Luoguo, really to his liking, immediately replied, "Long live the report. Your Majesty is the reincarnation of Manjusri Shan Sa. Fortunately, the Buddha sees the Buddha and laughs. "
Gan Long then asked, "The Buddha smiled when he saw you, but why?" Liu Yong paused and replied, "If a Buddha smiles at a minister, naturally he can't become a Buddha." The answer was clever and included praise. Gan Long was very happy after hearing this! This ass is in his heart!
3. Praise is smooth and ingenious.
The best compliment is not to show traces, not to let people know that you are "flattering" with ulterior motives, which not only raises others but also does not belittle yourself.
There was a famous painter named Wang Sengqian in the Southern Dynasties. He was the grandson of Wang Xizhi in the Jin Dynasty. His running script and regular script are inherited from the ancestral method, and his accomplishments are profound, and his official script is flowing like water.
Xiao Daocheng, the emperor of the Tang Dynasty, was also a master of calligraphy. He was pretentious. He didn't want to hear that his calligraphy was inferior to that of courtiers, so Wang Sengqian was very restrained and didn't dare to show his talents.
One day, Xiao Daocheng, the Emperor of Qi, offered to compete with Wang Sengqian in calligraphy.
So, the monarch and ministers carefully wrote a word. After writing, Xiao Daocheng proudly asked Wang Sengqian, "Who is the first and who is the second?"
If you are an ordinary courtier, of course, you will immediately answer "Your Majesty comes first" or "I am not as good as you". But Wang Sengqian didn't want to belittle himself, because he knew his handwriting was better than the emperor's. Why did he force an answer? But he dared not offend the emperor. What do we do? Wang Sengqian rolled his eyes and said a wonderful answer that has been passed down through the ages: "I am the first in the book; Your majesty's book, the first of the emperors. "
He skillfully divided the calligraphy competition between courtiers and emperors into two groups: courtiers group and emperors group, and compared them. He not only put a high hat on the emperor, saying that his calligraphy was "the first among emperors", but also satisfied the emperor's desire to win the championship, safeguarded his honor and personality, and made the emperor respect his personality more, feeling that he was not the kind of guy who specialized in flattery.
Sure enough, Emperor Xiao Daocheng laughed and stopped asking who was the first.
4, compliments vary from person to person
Dumas, a French writer, once went to the biggest bookstore in China to find out about the sales of books. After learning the news, the bookstore owner decided to do something happy for the famous writer. On all the shelves, he only put Dumas' books.
When Dumas entered the bookstore and saw only his own books, he was surprised: "Where are the other books?"
"Other books? We have sold out. "
Obviously, the bookstore owner flattered the horseshoe.
Compliments should be made in different ways according to everyone's characteristics. For example, praise the appearance of women, praise the creativity and pioneering spirit of young people, and praise the health of the elderly. For a businessman, if you praise him for his high morality, outstanding knowledge, honesty and self-sufficiency, he will be indifferent and dismissive; On the other hand, if you say that he is talented, smart, flexible, good at making money and his face is red, then he will certainly make a fortune at once, and he will be happy to hear it.
I once saw a young man praise the leader: you make money at a glance and make money every day! The leader was very unhappy. I immediately said obliquely, "Look at the leader's face, big ears and round ears. He is a good superior who is honest and clean for the country and the people. " ! The other party was really happy to hear that.
Compliments are different from flattery. The former is the art of speaking, while the latter is utilitarian. Compliment is a kind of etiquette and a lubricant of interpersonal relationship. As long as we are happy when we are praised, we should understand that people just praise themselves by the way. Generally speaking, I will say: where, where, I haven't done enough. But if you know this is flattery, you should be careful. The other party must want something from you. When I was a child, I studied the ancient Chinese prose "Zou Ji satirizes the King of Qi to admonish". Zou Ji was complimented by his wife and protege, and kept sober enough inside.