Methods to cultivate one’s moral character and maintain a calm mind
1. Live in the present.
Don’t always think about tomorrow, and don’t always be upset about what happened yesterday. Focus your energy on what you want to do today.
2. Live here.
There is nothing we can do about what happens far away. It is unfounded worry and does not help matters. So remember, you are living here and now, not somewhere else far away.
3. Stop guessing and face reality.
You may have encountered this situation: when you meet your boss or colleagues at work, you say hello to them, but they don’t respond or even smile. If you think about this and think to yourself, why do they treat themselves like this? Does this person have a problem with himself? Are you looking down on yourself? In fact, maybe you didn't expect that when you said hello to him, he might be too preoccupied and in a bad mood to notice you saying hello to him. Many psychological disorders are often caused by "taken for granted" that have no actual basis.
? 4. Stop thinking and feel more.
Modern society requires people to think more and feel less. What people think about all day long is how to do a good job, how to get good grades in exams, how to have a good relationship with leaders and colleagues, etc. Therefore, it is easy to ignore or have no intention to enjoy the beautiful scenery and listen to the pleasant music. One of the characteristics of Gestalt therapy is its emphasis on "feeling" based on thinking. Feelings can adjust and enrich your thinking. However, now people overemphasize logical thinking, and intuitive thinking is often ignored. The terrible consequence is that people will become emotionless machines.
5. Accept unpleasant emotions.
People usually want to have pleasant emotions and are unwilling to accept melancholy, sad, and unpleasant emotions. Pleasure and displeasure are relative terms, and they also exist and transform into each other. Therefore, the correct attitude is: to accept both pleasant emotions and to be mentally prepared to accept unpleasant emotions.
6. Don’t make random judgments.
People tend to jump to conclusions immediately when others make slight mistakes or failures. The correct way to treat others and deal with interpersonal relationships should be: don't judge people first, first tell what you think. By doing this, you can prevent and avoid unnecessary friction and conflicts with others, and you can also avoid unnecessary troubles and anguish yourself.
7. Don’t blindly worship idols and authority.
In modern society, there are many disguised authorities and idols. They will imprison your mind and restrict your hands and feet, such as academic qualifications, money, etc. Don’t blindly agree with others and lose the habit of independent thinking; don’t submit to others unprincipled and be deprived of the ability to act independently.
8. I am who I am.
Don’t say, if I were so-and-so, I would definitely succeed. You should start from your own starting point and give full play to your potential. There is no need to blame others, start from me, start from now, do my best to use my talents and do what I can do.
9. Be responsible for yourself.
People tend to avoid responsibilities easily. For example, if you do not do well in an exam, you will blame your failure on your poor family environment. You will blame it on poor leadership, poor conditions, etc., and blame your faults and failures on objective reasons. This important principle of Gestalt therapy is to require oneself to take responsibility for doing things.
10. Estimate yourself correctly.
That means putting yourself in the right position. Everyone occupies a specific position in society, so you have to fulfill your rights and obligations according to the requirements of this specific position. If you do not act in accordance with this norm that is unanimously recognized by society and abided by by everyone, then you will be condemned and opposed by society and others.