My secret love is really just a romance that I direct and act by myself.
The young man's heartbeat is really simple. Perhaps it is seeing the colorful light refracted by the sun when he sweats on the basketball court, or perhaps seeing the helpless smile on his lips after being teased. , or maybe it was a look that the quiet Wan Xiuli glanced at him inadvertently, but was even more inadvertently caught by him.
In short, I was in the same class with him in the third year of junior high school, and I fell in love with him in the third year of high school. This heartbeat started so late that in the days when I couldn't see him, I always regretted it. Why couldn't the heartbeat come earlier? Could it be that if I fell in love with him earlier, I would be able to see him for a few more years, and lose a lot of the sense of loss that makes me feel suffocated and sad when I think about it now?
The days in the senior year of high school are boring and exhausting. The life of two weeks of classes and only one day off is fully scheduled. The thoughts of those girls who have been covered up by weekly exams, monthly exams, and mock exams can only I could vent my feelings through secretly glancing at his back every night when I was doing my evening exercises. At that time, I felt that the day was so long, and I was already exhausted physically and mentally. But there were still many quizzes in front of me, and I was queuing up to hold my love number plate. But I also felt that the day was so short, and I didn’t have time to look at him more, or talk to him. He said the last sentence and ended in a hurry.
For senior high school students, the only thing they are looking forward to is probably physical education class.
He is very good at basketball, but his favorite game in physical education class is badminton. In the impression, I always see him riding a mountain bike in the bicycle shed, carrying a dark red badminton on his back. The suit is worn, and the white school uniform with flowing hem exudes the youthful spirit that makes people yearn for it.
At that time, girls always liked to gossip. During the classes that were not occupied by the teacher, the girls around them gathered in a group and whispered about their recent encounters, but most of them What we are talking about is the love that we longed for and were eager to try but dared not touch easily. A special badminton racket, and then challenge him to play with him in class. I don’t know whether the two of them won or lost in the match, but I would take advantage of the gap between picking up the ball on the other side of the court to look at them from a distance.
But even so, in the end, this girl failed to pursue her sweetheart, and like me, she became one of his many secret admirers.
The countdown to the college entrance examination on the blackboard went from 300 to 200, from three digits to two digits, and then to the end of the college entrance examination. It felt very long to go through it, but when it really ended, it was unexpectedly... I can’t help but feel that time flies by. From the moment I handed in the last English paper, I knew that my youth was over. But at that moment I was excited, liberated, and an overwhelming sense of relaxation swept over me. I began to think about what I would do tomorrow - well, I would have a nice lazy sleep first, and then sleep until three or four o'clock in the afternoon. and then eat, drink, and hang out with my best friends in the evening, and do all the things I haven’t had time to do this year.
I should be so excited.
But after I helped my deskmate pack up the things in the dormitory, I walked out of the dormitory building and saw the head teacher smiling so clearly that the creases in the corners of his eyes were so clear. He said to us with relief and reluctance, "Congratulations." "You have graduated", at that moment, I don't know why, the overwhelming sadness directly overwhelmed me.
It wasn’t until today, nearly six years after I graduated from high school, that I finally understood that the sadness I felt at that time was due to the fact that I could no longer feel the purity of passing notes with my classmates, walking to the canteen after class, and no longer being able to hear In class, the teachers nagged her in every way, not seeing the boy who she wanted to see more of every day.
On the night after the college entrance examination, my classmates spontaneously organized a farm barbecue, and I knew that the boy I liked would also go. I tried my best to pick out the most beautiful dress to go to the banquet from the messy wardrobe, but in the end I found that apart from the few T-shirts I would wear to school, there were only school uniforms in the wardrobe.
In the end, I still wanted to look beautiful and stunning, so I attended with the most simple and familiar appearance.
I thought that when everyone faced graduation, although they wouldn’t hug each other and cry, at least they would sit together and have a heart-to-heart talk, play truth or dare or something like that. I still thought about it. How can I take advantage of this last opportunity to get closer to my sweetheart? But when I got there, I realized...it was really just a barbecue party.
The boys have a barbecue together and the girls have a barbecue together without disturbing each other. It's so annoying and funny.
During this period, I indulged myself in looking at him a lot more than usual. He was wearing the most ordinary clothes, with the same smile on his face, and he was clumsily carrying out the movements of his hands. I remember that the kebabs that fell into his hands were all burnt, and the boy next to him had no choice but to scold him. He was not annoyed, and was even a little honest. He smiled and said: "I was wrong. I was wrong. The next skewer will be short." Focus."
That night, I tried my best to engrave all the details about him in my mind, and every time I think about him in the future, I will pull them out of my memory. , savor it carefully. At the end of the barbecue party, I looked at his delicate and thin profile, and silently said in my heart, Goodbye, I wish you a bright future, the boy I like.
I thought we would never meet again.
Who would have thought that our university entrance exams were in the same city, and it only takes an hour to go to his school by subway. Next, I may use letters to string together the relationships between the characters. We somehow formed a traveling group of five people, two boys and three girls, all in the same class as our senior year. I am in the same school as sister A and sister B, and brother C is in the same school as the person I like (hereinafter referred to as L), because I am very familiar with BC, and L and A are a little familiar, just because everyone When I first came to college, I didn’t have many friends, so during my freshman and sophomore years, I would often hang out with them.
To be honest, I didn’t expect this kind of development, but I am still that little coward. Even if there are five people traveling, I will only pay attention to him quietly. More often, L will I'm talking to A.
But I don’t regret it. I am very satisfied just looking at him.