(In front of Tang Mansion. Many people are waiting at the door. )
Bit player A: Oh, what's the matter? I've been waiting for three hours and I haven't seen it!
Walk-on B: Yes, it usually comes out in two hours.
(The servants of the Tang Dynasty went out to take out the garbage)
Servant a: ok, put it at the door.
Servant: Yes!
Everyone is waiting for the garbage, so they all go up and grab it. )
Walk-on A: Oh, I finally got the Mo Bao in Tang Bohu!
(Everyone is chasing Dragon Armor)
(Tang Bohu holds a writing brush and brushes soy sauce for chicken wings)
Servant A: Is a dish of soy sauce enough?
Tang Bohu: Take your time!
Servant A: There are many people outside to draw now. Are you really going to ignore them?
Tang Bohu: Young Master is not in the mood to paint today. Why don't you give them some bags of garbage?
Servant A: Yes!
Servant A: (I met Zhu Zhishan at the door when I went out) I wish you all the best.
Zhu Zhishan: Ah, Brother Tang!
Tang Bohu: Hey, Brother Zhu!
Zhu Zhishan: Brother Tang, help.
Tang Bohu: It seems that Brother Zhu lost in the casino again?
Zhu Zhishan: My parents know my brother Don!
Tang Bohu: It is well known that among the four gifted scholars in Jiangnan, Brother Zhu is the most free and easy! The so-called wind blows the eggshell, and wealth makes people happy. This is your motto, isn't it?
Zhu Zhishan: I'm flattered, but I'm not nearly as good as my brother Tang's bohemian behavior!
Tang Bohu: Ha ha, ha ha. It's just, Brother Zhu, you lose a few hundred taels every few days, and when you lose everything, you come for help. There's nothing you can do if you keep doing this, right Zhu Zhishan: Very insightful. So I lost everything I could lose in my life. I hope my brother Tang Can will draw 30 paintings for me, so that I can pay my debts and save my life!
Tang Bohu: I understand. Water, get out first!
Servant water: Yes, young master!
Tang Bohu: Son of a bitch, do you think this place is a good place? Want 300 thousand 2? No way!
Zhu Zhishan: Come on, it's all my fault. This is my fault. I kowtow and admit my mistake now. Don't think that I lent you a jade ball to satisfy your appetite. Think about it, too. I have saved a lot of money selling paintings for you in recent years. Now the brothers in the street outside say that if I don't get thirty paintings after three sticks of incense, I will be torn to pieces! Help me!
Tang Bohu: Three incense sticks? Hum, don't say that brothers don't take care of you. I will write a couplet for you in your mourning hall. One damn, one damn! You chose it yourself!
Zhu Zhishan: Bohu, don't be so awesome, okay? I swear, if I gamble again in the future, I will let the ugliest woman in the world gang-rape every night until she is in pieces and shaky. Is it okay?
Tang Bohu: Huh? ! You can make such a solemn and stirring oath? Ok, I'll help you again! Somebody, Four Treasures of the Study, wait!
Zhu Zhishan: Brother Tang is really loyal to the liver, courageous and chivalrous!
Tang Bohu: Cut the crap and take it off!
Zhu Zhishan: Huh? ! Take off your clothes?
(Tang Bohu paints with Zhu Zhishan's body)
Zhu Zhishan: Are you trying to kill me?
Zhu Zhishan: That's incredible. Even if you beat me to death, is it worth it? What's this name?
Tang Bohu: Isn't it spectacular? This is called an eagle spreading its wings and swallowing the sky. Below? This painting is enough to compensate you for 302 thousand. Please don't bother me again.
Zhu Zhishan: That's for sure, for sure? But what I admire most about Brother Tang is that he can turn two dots on my chest into flowers, make a tree with his palm, make a stone with his ass, sit on the cloud with his front foot and make a mountain with his back foot.
Zhu Zhishan: Hey, where is that eagle painted on my body?
Tang Bohu: Use your penis.
Zhu Zhishan: As I expected, it was spectacular and enthusiastic. Absolutely vivid!
Tang Bohu: I'm talking about the bug in the eagle's mouth. How can it be vigorous? Stop!
Zhu Zhishan: Huh? Okay, hey, use the hook!
Narrator: Tang Bohu was born in Chenghua, Ming Xianzong for six years. It was silver moon Silver Day, so he was named Tang Yin, and because he was a tiger, he was also named Tang Bohu. Tang Yin was extremely clever, and he painted Shuang Jie in poetry, ranking first among the four gifted scholars in the south of the Yangtze River. He was an idol worshipped by men, women and children at that time. What people talk about most is that he has eight beautiful wives, who are as beautiful as a fairy and envy others!
A wife: Raise your hand! Do you have any money with you? Let me borrow it first! Are you kidding? ! Just a little! Come, come ... I'm rich again and can play.
A wife: Give the money quickly!
A wife: Did you cheat? ! You always win.
Tang Bohu: Ladies, how about some chicken wings?
A wife: Did you pick a chicken bone? Did you come back so long? Have you set it up? Come on, all right, all right, let's play.
Tang Bohu: My picture of flowers in full bloom-
Wife: Oh, what's the big deal? Give us a mat, cheapskate
Wife: You're not dead. Why don't you just draw another one?
Tang Bohu: But this. ...
A wife: Cut the gossip and let's practice boxing! Hello, sisters, three-star photos, four seasons wealth! Drink it!
Wife: What are you doing?
Tang Bohu: My collection of poems!
A wife: Look at this rotten table. It's always crooked. It's not enough to put one. Why don't you buy two copies?
Tang Bohu: Hey! My bird is watching the phoenix. Why is the bird's head missing?
Wife: Why are you so wordy? ! I can't even borrow your bird because his chicken is missing.
Tang Bohu: Ah ~ ~ ~ You, you. ...
(Tang Bohu's mother Zhu Qian hanged herself)
Tang Bohu: Mom, what are you doing?
Some wife: Oh, my mother-in-law hanged herself! Why don't you go and see her, alas! Wait a minute, open the card first, for two days! Kill! That's evil! Pay quickly!
Tang Bohu: Damn it! Are you out of your mind?
Zhu Qian: I'm useless! I married you eight wives to wait on you, and you are not satisfied. You are sad all day. I think I'd better go to hell!
Tang Bohu: Mom, what are you talking about? I have never complained about you.
Zhu Qian: Bohu, you are young and promising now, with a successful career and a wealthy family. You are the happiest person in the world, aren't you?
Tang Bohu: I never said I was unhappy!
Zhu Qian: Why do you look so sad all day? You think your daughter-in-law is not good enough for you?
Tang Bohu: Hey, I'm sorry. A thousand dollars is easy to get, but a bosom friend is hard to find. Although these ladies and I are husband and wife, it's a pity that strange bedfellows!
Wives: So you don't like us? I might as well die!
(All wives hang themselves together)
Tang Bohu: Wow! Eight people hanged themselves together? ! How spectacular!
Zhu Qian: Help! Daughter-in-law, my daughter-in-law ... Are you okay? ! Bohu, do you really want to be satisfied with the corpses and rivers of blood?
Tang Bohu: I didn't say. ...
Wife: You let go ... let me die. ...
Tang Bohu: Stop it!
Zhu Qian: Say something, Bohu!
Tang Bohu: Stop it! I was wrong! The ladies are gentle and virtuous, well-managed and knowledgeable, but they don't know how to appreciate them. I'm sorry, please forgive me!
Wives: I hope you can understand!
Wife: Xianggong, smile!
A wife: Smile.
A wife: Laughing too reluctantly! I want to be happy!
A wife: Ah, why so ugly? Smile better.
A wife: Yes, the smile is better.
Tang Bohu: Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Wives: Come on, let's clench our fists.
Zhu Qian: Bohu, look how much they love you! Don't let down the pains of several daughter-in-law in the future.
Servant: Madam, King Ning sent someone to see the young master.
Tang Bohu and Zhu Qian: Wang Ning?
Zhu Qian: Wang Ning is planning a rebellion. He sent someone to recruit you.
Tang Bohu: Hey, anyway, go and help me send him away.
Servant: Please!
Servant: Madam, they-
Messenger: Hey, where's Tang Bohu? Our report wants to ask him to go back as a staff officer, so call him out quickly!
Zhu Qian: I'm really sorry, everyone. The child is too ill to see guests. I am very grateful to Wang Ning for his kindness. Please go back.
Messenger: Hahahaha, what a coincidence! Everyone invited by our monarch is sick. However, your report foresaw this move long ago and told me to bring my doctor. Let's go and see him.
Zhu Qian: Huh? ! this ...
Messenger: Tang Bohu! (The messenger and others break into the house and find Tang Bohu eating chicken wings and ask Zhu Qian) Hey, didn't you say he was very ill? !
Zhu Qian: He's ... He's very sick!
Messenger: If you are very ill, how can you have an appetite for chicken wings?
Zhu Qian: Ah, what's the matter with you?
Tang Bohu: Hey ... it's simple, because-(singing) Braised wings, I like to eat-
Messenger: (singing) But your mother said that you would go to heaven soon-
Zhu Qian: (Chorus) The sooner you ascend to heaven, the more bitter you will be. If you don't eat now, you won't have a chance to eat again!
Messenger: (singing) Are you really going to ascend to heaven soon? !
Tang Bohu: (singing) I'm really going to heaven-
(Trio Chorus) If you don't eat now, you won't have a chance to eat again!
Messenger: It is rare for a dying person to have such a good complexion as Tang Jieyuan. Doctor, feel Tang Jieyuan's pulse and see how serious it is.
Doctor: Yes, Tang Jieyuan's pulse is steady and normal! No problem!
(Tang Bohu used Qigong to change the pulse condition, and the doctor was shocked.)
Messenger: What's wrong with him?
Tang Bohu: Am I still saved?
Doctor: Try it.
Messenger: What's the matter?
Doctor: I've never heard of such a chaotic pulse!
Messenger: What did you hear?
Doctor: Your legend!
Messenger: What? !
Doctor: I see you. Hurry up and prepare for the funeral! Tang Jieyuan, I'm leaving now!
Messenger: wasting so much time for a half-dead man! Let's go!
Zhu Qian: Doctor, please help me-
Zhu Qian: Bastard, get down on your knees. Do you still remember that you swore in front of your dead old man that you wouldn't reveal the secret that you knew martial arts? Why did you break the rules today?