1. There is a wolf baby. It does not eat meat but only eats vegetarian food when it is born. Its parents are very worried. Finally, one day they saw a wolf baby chasing a rabbit, and the parents were very happy. Then the wolf baby grabbed the rabbit and said: Hand over the carrot! ... 2. This diver has a very high level of difficulty. He first turned and rolled for a week, then did a forward somersault for a week and a half, and then did a backflip for a month. 3. There was a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, there was a big bad wolf holding a A burning candle wanted to burn the rope. The man said something, and the big bad wolf blew out the candle. The man said: HAPPY BRITHDAY! 4. Once upon a time, there was a village near the sea. The villagers relied on catching fish. Fish for a living. . . This happened for many, many years~~~ Suddenly one day, a strange fish came into the sea. It specialized in eating the villagers who went out to sea to fish, and it had already eaten several people. . . This strange fish had six eyes and could fly, so the villagers called it the "Six-Eyed Flying Fish." Seeing the six-eyed flying fish killing people without restraint, and no one could cure it, the villagers were very anxious. If this continues What should we do~~~ At this time, a young man came to the village. His name was very special, "Ai". Ai said that he could kill the six-eyed flying fish. . . The villagers were very disdainful. . But the next day, Ai came back carrying the body of the strange fish. . . The villagers were shocked and asked Ai, "How did you do it?" Ai said, "Love really needs courage to face the six-eyed flying fish." 5. There used to be a hide-and-seek club, and their president is still there until now. Not found... 6. A little rabbit went fishing in the pond, but didn't catch any fish for a long time... The next day, the little rabbit went fishing in the pond again, and still didn't catch any fish after fishing for a whole day... On the third day, the little rabbit still insisted on fishing in the pond, but still got nothing... On the fourth day, the little rabbit still went to the pond to fish. A fish jumped out of the water and roared at the little rabbit: "You try it again?" If you use carrots as bait, I will beat you to death!" 7. ... After doing homework for a long time, I turned on the radio and a gentle voice came out: "... If the skin color is red and the hair on the face is fine and soft, then it means you are very healthy..." Hear Here, I couldn't help but touch my face, look in the mirror, and smile again, looking healthy and cute. At this time, the announcer said again: "Okay, audience friends, this is the end of our "Pig Raising Knowledge Lecture"..." 8. In a certain elementary school, two students were quarreling. A said: "You... "If you keep calling, I'll call someone." B said, "You...you call me! I don't believe it..." Then A actually ran to call and came back! Then he said a harsh word: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!" At this time, B was very nervous, but there was nothing he could do. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "Classmate B, you have a visitor, please Go to the Academic Affairs Office. "Although I'm scared, thinking about it, I'm in the Academic Affairs Office, so I should be fine. So he went to the Academic Affairs Office, and a teenager with blond hair walked up to him: "Are you so-and-so B?" B: "I am..." "Sorry for the wait, here are the 10 Hawaiian pizzas you ordered. Add chicken, 5,300 yuan." 9. A German, a Frenchman, and a Japanese are going to work in a mine. The boss is an American. He said to the German: You are in good shape and you are responsible for the coolies. To the French: You said you were an engineer and you were responsible for the mining plan. And to the Japanese, he said: You are very thin. You are responsible for supplies. Then the next week, they get to work. A few days later, the Germans and French discovered that the Japanese were missing. After looking for them for a long time, they decided to go back to work. When the Germans started working, the Japanese suddenly jumped out and shouted: "Surprise!" (Surprise) 10. Rene Liu's courtship to Jay Chou was rejected, Rene Liu asked Jay Chou why? Jay Chou said, milk tea, I like Youlemei. 11.---Hello, please call a car.
I'm at the XX intersection, wearing a black short skirt... ---Okay, where to? ---Uh... to the knees... 12. A butterfly's wings are broken, but it is still flying. Why? Because it has a strong will. 13. There was a man who was having an infusion in the hospital and started laughing wildly while losing the blood. Others asked him why he was laughing. He said: "I laugh a little..." 14. A little girl called the radio station and wanted to order a song for her mother. Host: Why should she order a song for her mother? Little girl: Mom works very hard every day and can’t take a good rest on Sundays. She has to find various exercise books for me. The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good child of her mother. So she asked what song she wanted. Little girl: Why bother women? 15. A, B, and C went on a trip together, and A caught a cold... At night, everyone slept in the same bed, and A slept in the middle. In the middle of the night...A snorted heavily, and B and C's whole face was covered with A's crystals. B and C: You will inform us next time... After half an hour, A: Pay attention... B and B hurriedly got into the quilt after hearing this, and made sure there was no connection with the outside world... Then A farted 16. A prince was affected by Curse, you can only say one word a year, but he likes a princess very much, so you endured it for five years without speaking. After you saved up five words, you came to the princess and said: "Please marry me!" The princess said in shock. : "What?" 17. After retiring, a programmer decided to learn calligraphy. He bought a good Hu pen, rice paper, and ink, dipped it in thick ink, and wrote: hello, world in one go. 18. Once upon a time, there were two trash cans. They I ran and ran for a long time. Finally, a trash can stopped and said, "We are trash cans, why are we running?" 19. Xiao Ming did something wrong, and his mother asked him to kneel in front of the Guanyin statue and repent, saying: If Guanyin forgives you, you can eat. Five minutes later, Xiao Ming sat down at the dinner table, and his mother asked strangely: I didn’t mean that Guanyin forgives you. Can you eat? Xiao Ming said: Yes, I knelt down and said to Sister Guanyin that I was wrong and I wanted to eat. Then Sister Guanyin said to me with her right hand, OK 20. A woman took fake money to buy breakfast. . . The vendor was annoyed: "Sister, it's okay if you give me a fake one. At least it's a printed one. Yours is actually a painting! Take a step back and say, forget it's a painting. You can give me a painting worth ten yuan." , 5 yuan is fine, why don’t you give me a 7 yuan painting? At least it has to be in color, and you should use pencil! Forget it, just black and white, but you can’t use paper. Painting! The hand feels so bad that even if it is toilet paper, you have to use scissors to cut all the edges. This one is torn by hand. The rough edges are too exaggerated. I can tolerate the rough edges, but you can also tear it into a rectangular shape. This triangle shape is too unreasonable. 21. I just found 4 dead Xiaoqiang standing in a row under my desk. 22. One time in high school. One boy brought a large bottle of afternoon milk tea and drank it happily throughout the day, which was enviable. Later, other boys followed suit and competed openly and secretly to see who had the bigger bottle. liters of Coca-Cola, and then the 2.8-liter family-size version of Farmer Orchard. One bottle was so big that I couldn’t drink it at all. It just turned into a vicious competition every morning. It’s really boring now that I think about it. Then every day after dinner, I went to the supermarket to look for larger bottles of drinks. One time I bought a 4.5-liter bottle of Watsons, which was enough to make me stand out from the crowd and put others to shame. The turmoil was about to subside. Unexpectedly, a few days later, a friend came with a bucket of golden arowana, which was a full 5 liters. I was really speechless. : "In the past two days, I have been urging my mother to use more oil when cooking. Last night, when I saw that it was almost done, I poured out the rest and made a bucket of Guozhen myself. Damn, people in other classes on the bus this morning were all laughing at me..." Can I not laugh at you? You win 23.. Headmaster: My perfume is missing! Please help me look for it! Everyone: Are you still there? What brand of perfume do you use? SIX GOD, I only use that one. Everyone: That’s cool. I haven’t heard of it. What does it look like? I drink water so often that I keep forgetting to buy myself a cup.
Always drink from the company’s paper cup. I went to work the day before yesterday and saw a big plastic cup on the table. And it's very cute. My colleagues said it was given to me by the beautiful manager. I was so moved that I washed it and drank some water. Drinking water from a Dashuo cup feels unique, and my colleagues look at me with admiration. At noon, I finished my meal and drank water from a cup. The beautiful manager who suddenly came in looked at me blankly... Then she said: This is the little trash can I gave you. I was so anxious this morning that I forgot to give you the lid. I'm here to give you the lid... I'll give it to you. 25. Let's talk about my time in college. There is a senior who has always taken good care of me. On the night of my eighteenth birthday, he bought 100 thick white candles and lit them in the playground to wish me a happy birthday and confess his love to me at the same time. It really embarrassed me. At that time, I I wish I could dig a hole in the ground and go in. Afterwards, I pretended to be grateful and loved it and left eighteen white candles. My roommate looked at the candles I got back and asked if there was any funeral. I replied that someone was here to wish me a birthday. Everyone in the dormitory burst into laughter after hearing this. Later, when I went home during the Spring Festival, I carried the eighteen candles home. When my mother saw it, she said, such thick white candles can only be bought at the Xiangzhu Shroud Shop... 26. The boy followed a girl closely, and then … The red sun was scorching hot, and a fat girl was walking along the street. As she walked, she suddenly found an unknown boy following closely behind her. "Do you need my help with anything?" The fat girl turned around and asked the boy. "No, thank you. I just like walking in the shadow where the sun doesn't shine." The boy said politely. 27. When I woke up in the morning, my younger brother saw a bottle with "oatmeal" on the table and ate it for breakfast. At this time, my older brother came back from morning exercise. After washing and combing, he sat at the table and had a pedicure. Suddenly he asked his younger brother, Have you seen the bottle I put on the table, where I saved the skin of my feet...