The teacher asked the students to write the word "dog" silently, and one student clicked the dot on the word "dog" in the upper left corner. The teacher gave me a comment: The dog's head is crooked, the human head is too small, it's too shameful, and the crotch is carried on the left shoulder to lay eggs.
The father and son passed by the entrance of the five-star hotel and saw a very luxurious imported car. The son said disdainfully to his father: "Anyone who rides in this kind of car must have no knowledge in his belly!" The father replied lightly: "Anyone who says this kind of thing must have no money in his pocket!"
< p>(Note: Do your views on things also reflect your true inner attitude?)2. After dinner, the mother and daughter washed the dishes together, while the father and son watched in the living room television. Suddenly, there was the sound of breaking plates in the kitchen, and then there was silence. It was the son who looked at his father and said, "It must have been mom who broke it." "How do you know?" "She didn't curse."
(Note: We are used to looking at others and ourselves according to different standards. , so that we often blame others for being strict and treat ourselves with mercy)
3. Two Taiwanese tour groups traveled to Japan's Izu Peninsula. The road conditions were very bad and there were potholes everywhere. One of the tour guides apologized profusely and said the road was pockmarked. However, another tour guide said to the tourists poetically: "Ladies and gentlemen, the road we are taking now is the famous Izu Charming Dimple Avenue."
(Note: Although it is the same However, different thoughts will produce different attitudes. What a wonderful thing it is. How to think about it is up to you. )
4. I am also a third-year primary school student. The composition said that their future ambition is to be a clown. Chinese teachers denounce him as: "If you don't have great ambitions, you can't teach a child!" Foreign teachers will say: "May you bring laughter to the whole world!"
(Note: As an elder, Not only do we tend to demand more than encourage, but we also define success more narrowly)
5. In the Palace Museum, a lady said to her husband impatiently: "Why did you leave?" It’s so slow. It turns out that you always stop to look at these things.”
(Note: Some people only know how to rush on the road of life, and as a result, they lose the opportunity to look at the beautiful flowers on both sides.)
6. My wife is cooking in the kitchen. Next to her, her husband kept nagging: "Slow down." careful! The fire was too big. Turn the fish over quickly. Quickly shovel it up, too much oil has been put in! Smooth the tofu! “Oh,” the wife blurted out, “I know how to cook.” “Of course you do, ma’am,” the husband replied calmly, “I just wanted to let you know how I feel about you chattering next to me while I’m driving. ”
(Note: It is not difficult to learn to be considerate of others, as long as you are willing to seriously look at the problem from the other person’s perspective and standpoint.)
Mark Twain’s wonderful answer
p>The famous modern American writer Mark Twain was sitting across from a lady at a banquet. Out of politeness, he said: "You are so beautiful!" The lady did not appreciate it, but said: "What a pity. I can't praise you the same way!" Mark Twain said: "That's okay, you can tell a lie like me." The words were tactful and peaceful, and the lady lowered her head.
The Shortest Letter in the World
After the famous French writer Victor Hugo sent the manuscript of "Les Misérables" to the publisher, it took some time before the book was published. So he sent a letter to the publishing house, and the content only said: "? - Hugo." Soon, he received a reply from the publishing house, the content only said: "! - Editorial Office." Not long after, "Les Misérables", which caused a sensation in the world, became available to readers.
This letter is called "the shortest letter in the world."
Who is the champion?
The battle report of a football match reads: "This The result of a fierce football match was that the Shandong team defeated the Beijing team and won the championship.”
The first person watched and said that the Shandong team won the football match. The communique read: "As a result of this fierce football match, the Shandong team defeated the Beijing team and won the championship." Another person said, that's not right. The battle report clearly stated: "As a result of this fierce football match, the Shandong team was defeated and the Beijing team won the championship."
Who is right and who is wrong
There used to be A hotel posted an advertisement that read: "On rainy days, no guests will be allowed, and on rainy days, no guests will be allowed." A traveler came up and asked to stay in the hotel.
The shopkeeper pointed at the advertisement and said, "Didn't you see the advertisement written: 'On rainy days, we will keep guests? No.'" The customer said, "I saw it. The advertisement made it clear: 'On rainy days, we will keep guests.'" . Do you want to stay as a guest? Stay! '"
In fact, there are two other ways to read this sentence: one is a question: "On a rainy day, do you want to stay as a guest?" The first is a declarative sentence pattern: "On rainy days, guests are invited to stay, but if it rains, guests will be invited to stay."
Mr.'s Notes
Once upon a time, there was a rich man who was very stingy. Once he hired a teacher for his son. When talking about treatment, the husband knew that he was usually very mean to others. So he thought about it and made a note with him, which read:
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have rice, noodles, chickens, ducks, fish, meat, or money.
The rich man saw it. He was very happy. He thought that his husband was not particular about his meals, and he did not have to pay for tuition. He felt that he had taken advantage of it. At the end of the year, the husband wants to settle accounts with the rich man. Wherever the rich man was willing to give, the two of them went to the county government to file a lawsuit. The county magistrate asked the rich man to read out the evidence once. The rich man read it out according to the evidence, but the gentleman read it out again according to the punctuated pauses, so that he read:
If you don’t have rice, you can have noodles. ;
If you don’t have chicken, you can have duck;
If you don’t have fish, you can have meat;
If you don’t have silver, you can have money.
The rich man was dumbfounded when he heard this, so he had to pay his tuition and meal money to his husband.
Legend has it that in the late Qing Dynasty, Empress Dowager Cixi asked a famous calligrapher to write poems for her fan. The calligrapher wrote the poem "Liangzhou Ci" by Wang Zhihuan of the Tang Dynasty:
Far above the Yellow River, among the white clouds, there is an isolated city called Wanren Mountain.
Why should the Qiang flute blame the willows? The spring breeze does not pass through Yumen Pass.
Due to negligence, the calligrapher forgot to write the word "Jian". Cixi was furious and wanted to kill him. The calligrapher was so anxious that he quickly explained: "Old Buddha, calm down, this is a poem filled with Wang Zhihuan's poetic touch." He broke off the sentence on the spot and read it to Cixi:
"The Yellow River is far up, and the white clouds are white. A piece of land, a lonely city on the Wanren Mountain. Why should the Qiang flute complain? The spring breeze of the willows will not pass through Yumen Pass." After hearing this, Cixi turned from anger to joy and kept saying wonderful things.
Ingeniously modified couplets
Once upon a time there was an old Jinshi, and his son also won the Jinshi. So he was so proud that he prepared a banquet for guests the next day to celebrate, and wrote it himself I made a couplet and posted it outside the gate. The first couplet is "Father Jinshi, son Jinshi, father and son Jinshi", and the second couplet is "Mrs. mother-in-law, Mrs. daughter-in-law, Mrs. mother-in-law and daughter-in-law". Because this old Jinshi was usually rich and unkind, relying on his family's wealth and power, he often bullied men and dominated women, and the people in the village hated him. One scholar among them suddenly became intrigued when he saw this couplet and decided to play a trick on the old Jinshi to relieve his bad temper. So, he took advantage of the darkness to lengthen the horizontal line below the character "Shi" in this couplet, added a horizontal line under the character "Husband", and added two horizontal lines under the character "人".
The next day, all the guests invited by the old Jinshi came. When everyone saw this couplet, they all whispered to each other and laughed secretly. When the old Jinshi heard the news and came out to take a look, he saw that the couplet changed to "Father goes to the earth, son goes to the earth, father and son go to the earth; mother-in-law loses her husband, daughter-in-law loses her husband, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law lose her husband."
The old Jinshi When he made a fool of himself in front of everyone, he couldn't help shouting and fainting, while the people clapped their hands and cheered.
Poems and notes of the past dynasties contain many anecdotes about poets composing words and sentences. According to records such as "Tang Poetry Chronicle", a poet monk named Qi Ji in the Tang Dynasty wrote a poem "Early Plum Blossoms", which contains two sentences: "In the deep snow in the front village, several branches bloomed last night." Zheng Gu looked at it and suggested that it would be better to change "several branches" to "one branch" because the poetic meaning of "one branch blooming" and "early plum blossom" are more appropriate. Qi was deeply convinced and immediately bowed down and respected Zheng Gu as "one-character master".
Sadu Ci, a famous poet of the Yuan Dynasty, has two poems that are often praised by people: The wet ground is tired of hearing the rain in Tianzhu, and the moonlight comes to listen to the Jingyang bell. Later, he heard that an old man in Shandong had different views on these two poems, so he made a special trip to visit him. When the old man saw the poet coming to his door, he said bluntly: "You use 'hear' in the first sentence and 'listen' in the second sentence. They are both using your ears. Isn't it too monotonous?" Sadhu felt that the old man's opinion was very pertinent, so he asked for advice. "In your opinion, how can we change it better?" The old man said: "People in the Tang Dynasty had a sentence called "The old hate in the forest came to see the rain." Isn't it good to borrow the word "watch" to replace the word "smell"?" Sadhu was very angry. In admiration, he hurriedly stepped forward to salute and called the old man his "one-character master".
Two anecdotes about Ji Xiaolan
1. Lantern riddles stumped the emperor and his ministers
One year before the Lantern Festival, Emperor Qianlong asked every minister to burn a lantern. , write riddles, couplets or poems on it and send it to the palace for everyone to enjoy together and celebrate the Lantern Festival.
On the day of the Lantern Festival, all kinds of lanterns were hung all over the Imperial Garden. Qianlong and the civil and military officials walked around in the imperial garden, as if they were wandering in a sea of ??lanterns. Every time they came to a lamp, they would read poems, guess riddles, or couplets, and burst into hearty laughter from time to time.
The civil and military ministers accompanied Emperor Qianlong like stars holding the moon in front of the lantern presented by Ji Xiaolan, and saw a lantern riddle couplet hanging on it, which read:
Black is not , not white, not even red and yellow; just like foxes, wolves, cats and dogs, neither domestic animals nor wild beasts.
There are also poems, lyrics, and the Analects of Confucius. It is vague about east, west, south, and north. Although it is a short article, it is also a wonderful article.
Manchao Wenwu looked at this lantern riddle couplet, and immediately stopped smiling and frowned. They were all stumped.
Emperor Qianlong, who loved both couplets and riddles, was at a loss at this time. The monarch and his ministers racked their brains and racked their brains together, but they still couldn't figure it out after guessing. In the end, Ji Xiaolan had to let Ji Xiaolan figure out the answer on his own.
It turns out that the puzzle couplet consists of two words, the first couplet is "guess" and the second couplet is "riddle".
2. A clever couplet to celebrate birthdays
It is said that when Emperor Qianlong reigned for fifty years, in order to celebrate the prosperity of the Qing Dynasty, he also celebrated his fifty years in power. , Emperor Qianlong invited all the elderly people over sixty years old from all over the country to Beijing for a banquet. Emperor Qianlong was very happy and asked who was the oldest person. One of them said that he was 141 years old. The emperor was overjoyed.
Because it was exactly 141 years since the Qing Dynasty entered the customs in 1644. This person happened to witness the history of the Qing Dynasty. The emperor was overjoyed and recruited Ji Xiaolan to join him in a couplet:
First line:
The reunion of sixty-year-olds adds thirty-seven years (the sixty-year-old is 60 years old, the reunion is 120, plus 3×7=21, which is exactly 141);
< p> Ji Xiaolan thought for a moment and then wrote the second line:Two celebrations in ancient times mean one more Spring and Autumn period (one degree in ancient times is 70 years old, two celebrations are 140, and one more degree means adding one, which is exactly 141).
This couplet is so neatly matched, Ji Xiaolan can truly be called the most talented person in the world.
Zhu Yuanzhang, the Emperor of Couplets
Zhu Yuanzhang, the founding emperor of the Ming Dynasty, loved couplets before he ascended the throne, so he was nicknamed the "Emperor of Couplets".
At the end of the Yuan Dynasty, the world was in chaos and the people were in dire straits. Zhu Yuanzhang just wanted to cause trouble at that time. On a snowy road, he met his good friend Gunn, so he wrote the following couplet: "The sky is cold and the ground is freezing, and every bit of water becomes ice." Gunn pondered for a moment, and then responded to the first couplet with a questioning sentence: "The country is in chaos and the people are worried. Who will make the decision if the king does not come forward?" After Zhu Yuanzhang heard this, he was secretly happy.
After Zhu Yuanzhang led his army to defeat the Yuan army in Jiqing, he took a rest at the post station. He saw a 7-year-old child living there, who was serving on behalf of his father, so he asked the boy: "Can you know the antithetical lines?" ?" The boy replied: "Yes." Zhu Yuanzhang then wrote: "A 7-year-old child is a horse station." The child looked Zhu Yuanzhang up and down and thought, this man is extraordinary, so he casually said, "The emperor of ten thousand years is sitting in the Dragon Court." relatively. Zhu Yuanzhang was overjoyed and ordered him to be exempted from labor service.
When Zhu Yuanzhang led his army to attack Gusu City. In order to boost morale, the second couplet was written by splitting the characters: "The world speaks, the sky speaks, aiming to swallow Wu." Military advisor Liu Bowen then wrote the first couplet in the same way: "King among people, king among people, intending to take full responsibility."
Lian Yi means that I will definitely complete your intention of "devouring Wu" as the most important task. Zhu Yuanzhang was overjoyed when he heard this and said: "The military commander knows me."
After Zhu Yuanzhang established his capital in Nanjing, he once issued a decree saying: All officials and civilians, whether civil or military, must post Spring Festival couplets. One day, he went to the streets incognito to inspect the house. Suddenly he saw that there were no Spring Festival couplets posted on the door of a house, so he went up to ask. It turns out that this family is engaged in castrating pigs, and no one in the family can write, and they have not invited scholars to write for a while, so they are worried about this matter. After finding out the whole story, Zhu Yuanzhang recommended himself and said: "Let me write one for you!" Based on the professional characteristics of the head of the household, he spread out the paper and waved: "Cleave the road of life and death with both hands, and cut off the roots of right and wrong with one knife." When Zhu Yuanzhang returned from his inspection, he found that the Spring Festival couplets written by him had not been posted on the door yet, and he was furious. The head of the household kept shouting: "After the emperor left, we found out that this is a rare imperial gift of calligraphy. We have hung it in the middle hall and are burning incense to consecrate it!" After hearing this, Zhu Yuanzhang turned his anger into joy and ordered his attendants to give the head of the household 30 pieces of silver. Two, to show their loyalty.
One day, Zhu Yuanzhang, accompanied by his fourth son Zhu Di and grandson Zhu Yun, watched the horse racing. He saw a galloping horse with wind blowing from its four hooves, and occasionally got the first couplet: "The wind blows a thousand lines from the horse's tail", and asked one of his sons and one grandson to write the second couplet respectively. Zhu Yun was the first to say: "The rain beats the wool into a felt." After hearing this, Taizu thought the couplet was too weak, lacked momentum, and was displeased. He asked his son to talk to him again, and Zhu Di said: "The sun shines on the dragon's scales, and there are thousands of gold points on it." Taizu was delighted and nodded in praise frequently.
One day, Zhu Yuanzhang went on a visit incognito. On the way, he met a farmer selling lotus roots. He was so moved by the scene that he read the five-character first couplet and said: "A Bend of the West Arm", and asked the farmer to read the second couplet. The farmer looked at the lotus root hole and responded to the second couplet: "The seven orifices are better than the dry heart." The farmer did it so quickly and neatly, which was beyond Zhu Yuanzhang's expectation. He was very happy and named him "jijiu" (an official title).
One day, Zhu Yuanzhang came to a teahouse incognito again and started chatting with a scholar who was drinking tea. He learned that the scholar's ancestral home was in Chongqing, so he wrote a couplet based on the place name: "Thousands of miles are important, and Chongqing Mansion is full of rivers and mountains." The scholar knew that this was a first couplet with the name of a place embedded in it. In response, he wrote the second couplet and said: "One person is great, a great country, a great country, a great king." Zhu Yuanzhang was very impressed after hearing this.
Another time, Zhu Yuanzhang came to a hotel in a small town to drink in disguise. He saw that the store was small and there were no delicious dishes to go with the wine. The second couplet of the book said: "There are three cups and five cups in the small hotel, but there is nothing." The shop owner casually recited the first couplet and said: "The Ming Dynasty unified all directions, regardless of north and south." After hearing this, Zhu Yuanzhang was overjoyed and wanted to give him an official position, but the shop owner politely declined.
When Zhu Yuanzhang was playing chess with Prime Minister Liu Bowen, he was so interested that he accidentally wrote the following couplet: "The stars on the chessboard are made by heaven, and the sun and the moon win glory", and asked Liu Bowen to play the first couplet. Liu Luojia thought about it and thought about "Thunder is the drum of war and lightning is the flag, and the wind and clouds are meeting." After Zhu Yuanzhang heard this, he felt that the monarch and his ministers expressed their feelings to each other, which made him feel more relaxed.
Zhu Yuanzhang was the governor of the state with one word
During the Hongwu period, there was a scholar named Lu Xiong who had a good character and literature. He was recommended by the Ministry of Civil Affairs to serve as an official in the imperial court. Zhu Yuanzhang approved his appointment as magistrate of Yanzhou, Shandong.
Lu Xiong took office. In the past, it was said that "private officials can use the official seal". After arriving in Yanzhou, he first had to activate the official seal and issue a proclamation. When he took out the official seal awarded to him by the emperor, he was dumbfounded. It turned out that the edict written by Zhu Yuanzhang was to grant Lu Xiong the title of magistrate of Gunzhou, Shandong. The official seal was carved based on the emperor's edict, and Yanzhou naturally became Gunzhou. . However, Shandong has always only had Yanzhou but not Gunzhou.
If Lu Xiong had made mistakes at that time, Gunzhou would be Gunzhou. This was changed by the emperor, and whoever dared to do anything would be fine. But Lu Xiong is a scholar and takes things seriously. He thinks that Yanzhou is Yanzhou, how can it be changed to Gunzhou? So, he wrote a memorial to the emperor, asking the emperor to correct it and re-engrave the official seal.
When Zhu Yuanzhang saw the memorial, his face turned red and white. He did write it wrong. He was a man who personally conquered the world. He was quite familiar with the names of prefectures and counties in the national geography. He should know Yanzhou. It's not Gunzhou. The pronunciation of the word "gun" is "gǔn", not "yǎn".
However, it is not so easy for the emperor to admit his mistakes. Zhu Yuanzhang came from a humble background and had a strong self-esteem. When his naughty temper came up, he cursed: "Lu Xiong is so bold. He even talked about words on my head. I don't know Shandong yet." There is Yanzhou, and I accept that the governor of Gunzhou is the governor of Yanzhou. Yan and Gun are the same word. It is because the literati have different ways of writing it. This Lu Xiong dares to pronounce it as "gun" state. This is not to ask me to get out. You bastard, the Minister of Punishment listened to the order and beheaded Lu Xiong. "Poor Lu Xiong died for a word.
Su Shi's witty words reject friends
Su Shi, a literary giant of the generation, also known as Zizhan and Dongpo, his position in the history of Chinese literature is well known. The high level and quantity of his poems, lyrics, and poems are among the few in the ancient Chinese literary world. However, his official career was not smooth. Although he had reached the third rank and held important positions such as the Minister of Rites, the Imperial Academy, and the Emperor's Attendant, he was more often a guest scholar. He spent much more time in exile than "in the temple". " time. Although his official career was bumpy, his reputation was very great, and he was praised for thousands of years after his death.
In 1057, 22-year-old Su Shi and his 19-year-old brother Su Che went to Beijing to take the imperial examination under the leadership of their father Su Xun. In the palace examination held by Emperor Renzong, they both passed the Jinshi examination and became famous in the capital. , can be described as a young man’s success. Ouyang Xiu, the great litterateur and prime minister at the time, said when he read Su Shi's article: "Reading his article makes me sweat. In another thirty years, no one will know me, but only him." Emperor Renzong said happily: "Today I have chosen two good prime ministers for my children and grandchildren."
Both brothers Su Che and Su Shi were officials in the capital. Su Che was appointed Minister Youcheng, and Su Shi was appointed Hanlin bachelor. Prime Minister's decree. There was a man who was an old friend of theirs and wanted to get an official position. He stayed with Su Che for a long time but failed to get what he wanted, so he transferred to Su Shi with full hope. He said: "I really want to find a position in the Hanlin Academy, please help me say a few words." Su Shi did not comment, but told a story: "In the past, there was a very poor man who went to rob tombs. Coffins. There was a naked man sitting inside, and he said to the tomb robber: I am Yang Wangsun of the Han Dynasty! When I was dying, I asked my son to be buried naked, so the tomb robber spent a lot of effort to help you. Another tomb was dug, and the man inside was dressed like a king. The deceased introduced himself: Before his death, I left a decree asking my subjects not to bury them with gold and jade. Even the utensils here are made of pottery. What? The tomb robber saw that there were two closely connected tombs, so he dug up the one on the left. The deceased was skinny and his eyes were sunk in his eye sockets. He said, "I am Boyi. You haven't heard." I died of starvation in Shouyang Mountain. Think about it, can a person who starve to death have any money? The tomb robbers still wanted to dig up the grave on the right. Boyi kindly persuaded him: That is my brother Shu Qi. My younger brother is so thin, can he still look like a human being?"
Su Shi used this story as a metaphor: Boyi is Su Che, and Shu Qi is himself; Su Che cannot meet your requirements. Can I, Su Shi, be satisfied? It's better not to open your mouth! My friend understood and couldn't help laughing.
Xu Wenchang's hand against the prefect
Xu Wei (1521-1593), whose courtesy name was Wenqing, later changed to Wenchang, was named Tianchishanren, Ivy Taoist, and was also named Tianshui Yue, a native of Shanyin (now part of Shaoxing), was a Ming writer, calligrapher and painter, and a pioneer of the ideological liberation movement in the late Ming Dynasty. He wrote many couplets in his life. "Collection of Xu Wei" contains 118 couplets, which was rare in the Ming Dynasty. He also wrote 12 long couplets of more than 40 words, which was almost unmatched by anyone else in the Ming Dynasty. In particular, he was the first to break through the 100-character long couplet, and the 140-character long couplet inscribed for the main hall of Kaiyuan Temple in Shaoxing still exists today. To this day, Xu Wenchang still has some couplet stories circulating in Zhejiang.
Xu Wenchang came to Hangzhou when he was fourteen years old. The prefect of Hangzhou at that time was arrogant. When he learned that Xu Wenchang had composed poems and paintings in Hangzhou and was highly praised by people, he was very angry. He thought that a little boy dared to write and write in his jurisdiction. He really didn't know the heights of the world, so he sent a Yamen officer to summon Xu Wenchang. Couplet. He threatened to expel him from the city if he didn't get along. Xu Wenchang remained calm and agreed. The prefect took Xu Wenchang to the West Lake, pointed to the Liuhe Pagoda, and said the first couplet: "The six pagodas are heavy and seven-sided.
"
Xu Wenchang didn't speak, but just raised his hand. The prefect thought it was wrong and was secretly happy. He pointed to Baochu Pagoda proudly and wrote another couplet: "Baochu Pagoda, the top of the tower , as sharp as a pen, writing all over the world. "Xu Wenchang still didn't say a word, but pointed to Kintai Bridge, bowed his hands to the prefect, then spread his hands flat and raised it upward.
When the prefect saw that Xu Wenchang still didn't answer, he became arrogant. He said fully: "If you can't even say one sentence right, you are still a child prodigy! Immediately ordered: "Drive him out quickly!" At this time, Xu Wenchang laughed confidently: "Don't be rude, the second line has been corrected long ago!" The magistrate said angrily: "How dare you make unreasonable sophistry and fool me?" Xu Wenchang explained: "You speak with your mouth, I speak with your hands." "Right hand!" What does it mean? "The prefect asked.
Xu Wenchang replied: He raised his hand for the first couplet, which means "one palm is flat, five fingers are three long and two short"; for the second couplet, he arched his hand, spread both hands flat, and raised it upward , it is said that "Jintai Bridge, the bridge hole is round, round like a mirror, the mirror reflects all countries and nine states." The prefect was speechless and had to leave in anger.