Some things that are ridiculed in the workplace. In the workplace, everything happens to everyone differently. A lot of ridiculous words are actually part of the workplace. Let me share some things that are ridiculed in the workplace.
Some banter in the workplace 1 At noon, Dongzi ate a box lunch in the office. Bored after eating, he broke the disposable chopsticks into small sticks of different lengths, painted them in various colors, then put some soil from the flowerpot in the disposable lunch box, inserted the sticks of various colors in the lunch box, and took out the tin foil from the cigarette case, cut it into pieces and sprinkled it on it.
In the afternoon, the manager came into the office. Seeing the unique "bonsai", I asked Dongzi, "Did you make it?" Dongzi said timidly, "I didn't come home at noon, just fooling around." "Not bad, very creative and pioneering." Then he turned his head and smiled and said to the section chief, "This is a good seedling, and the important thing is to cultivate it." The section chief nodded.
At noon the next day, several people in the department didn't go home for dinner, so they simply dealt with it outside and began to get busy. Xiao Liu made an ashtray out of cans; Xiaoyan made a small hanging basket from a cigarette case; Xiao Li hooked a small pagoda with wool. ...
In the afternoon, the manager came into the office. Seeing those "ideas" lying on several people's desks, I couldn't help frowning: "Where are your ideas used? If you focus on your work, I think you should be advanced every year. " Then he turned his head and said sternly to the section chief, "We should strengthen departmental management in the future and resolutely put an end to those things that are not doing their jobs."
Workplace tip: Too much pressure: When the pressure is too high, you should seek the help of your boss. Don't try to bear all the pressure by yourself. At the same time, when the pressure comes, take the initiative to seek psychological assistance, such as talking to friends.
Some things about workplace ridicule 2 workplace ridicule
"Welcome to heaven." St Peter said, before you make a decision, we have a problem to solve. You see, this is very strange. We have never had a human resources manager here, and we don't know how to treat you.
"No problem, just let me in." The female manager replied.
"We think so, too, but I have also been ordered that you live in hell and heaven for one day, and then you choose where to spend it in the afterlife."
"Actually, I can make a decision now. I want to stay in heaven. "
"I'm sorry, we are in the elevator. This elevator can go straight to hell. "
The door of hell opened and the personnel manager found himself out of the elevator and came to a beautiful golf course. There is also a country club in the distance, and many colleagues and professors of human resources who have worked with her stand in front of her. They are all wearing evening dresses and wish her all the best. They walked up to her, kissed her face and talked about their past time together.
They played a wonderful golf game. In the evening, they came to the country club, where she enjoyed a barbecue and lobster dinner. She met the devil, a very good human resources manager. She joked, danced and had a good time. She didn't know that these human resources managers were so happy here. It's time to leave. When she stepped into the elevator, everyone shook her hand and waved goodbye.
The elevator went straight up and down and returned to the gate of heaven. St Peter is waiting for her.
More management skills
"Now you have to live in heaven for a day." He said, so the HR manager walked in the clouds for the next 24 hours, playing the piano and singing. She had a good time, and when she realized it, 24 hours had passed.
St Peter has come to take her out. "Now that you have lived in hell and heaven for a day, you must make a choice." He asked, and the HR manager hesitated for a second and replied, "Well, I never thought I would make a choice. I mean, it's really good in heaven, but I think I'll live better in hell. "
So St. Peter put her in the elevator and went to hell. When the elevator door opened, she found herself standing on a desolate dump, surrounded by garbage and mud. She saw her ragged friends pick up the rubbish and put it in the bag to prepare dinner.
The devil approached her and put his hand on her shoulder to make fun of her. "I don't understand." The personnel manager stammered, "When I came yesterday, there was a golf course and a country club here. We ate lobster, danced and had a good time. How come it's a dump now, and all my friends are unfortunate? "
The devil grinned at her and said, "That's because yesterday we were recruiting, and today you are one of us."
Tips for the workplace: Show your strengths appropriately: If you happen to be familiar with the city you are going to, you may wish to accompany your boss to visit some scenic spots or distinctive places after work. At this time, you can fully display your eloquence and enthusiasm, and it is also a good time to contact your feelings.
Some things about workplace ridicule 3 workplace ridicule business trip devil dictionary
■ visit
The highest form of business trip is to go out to work on behalf of the country. Generally speaking, this kind of business trip has special plane shuttle and fighter escort. After landing, the other party should greet with a salute of 2 1. So far, I haven't heard of anyone refusing this type of business trip.
■ derailment
In the mixed form of business trip and personal life, someone once made a survey on the online forum: How many days did you go to see your girlfriend after your business trip? The most classic answer came from a girl who sighed: It depends on what he made. Everything speaks for itself.
■ error
Non-mistakes in business trips are mainly made by technicians. After returning from a business trip to Qingdao, Huangshan, Lijiang and Hainan Island, I often find serious mistakes and need to go again. The working places of such business trips are mostly scenic spots.
■ going to sea
"Speculation" in the process of business trip. The sea means going out to sea. Taking advantage of the price difference between the north and the south and the imbalance between the east and the west in China, buying and selling goods during business trips to gain personal interests. Key words: Hong Kong, watch, diamond ring.
■ export
Proper nouns, especially those who travel abroad, belong to welfare projects during business trips. After the age of 50, many people gradually refuse domestic travel and only accept exports, and they must be developed countries in Europe and America. Singapore, Japan and South Korea can also give due consideration.
■ Bleeding
Business trip credit card consumption table. Blood means shopping. Upon arrival, a huge shopping group was immediately formed to sweep the local shops one by one. The highest purpose is to swipe your credit card and experience the pleasure of throwing millions.
■ escape
A variant of the exit. Under normal circumstances, it must be sold domestically after export. However, a few people will disappear after landing, and then appear in local restaurants, workshops, or become hermits. If this move succeeds, it is called immigration, and if it fails, it is smuggling.
■ Show off
The performance art of business trip generally includes two major items-ribbon-cutting and inscription, and the main work in the middle is eating. These people are natural tailors and calligraphy artists, but they soon become ordinary people after retirement. Scissors are confiscated and pens are sealed.