Everyone has his own life, and everyone's life is different. Esmeralda was separated from her biological mother when she was young. Finding her parents is her dream, and optimism is her attitude towards life. Sanmao accidentally saw the Sahara desert in the National Geographic Atlas and felt homesickness in her previous life, so she resolutely went to the desert and tried to survive in the desert with Jose, who loved her deeply. After the war broke out, Amir fled to the United States, but it didn't last long. His father, who lived alone with him, died of illness and stood firm in the United States by virtue of his talent.
The prototype of the protagonist in Alive is the American folk song Old Slave, in which the old slave experienced a lifetime of suffering, and his family left him first, but he still treated the world well without saying a word. "Living" made me understand that "people live for living itself, not for anything other than living". When life gives me a wilderness, it means that it wants me to be a soaring eagle.
Six months ago, I entered high school happily. I am looking forward to entering the life of a prestigious school. I am ready for the college entrance examination. At this time, fate played a big joke on me: I was diagnosed with severe depression. No wonder, I will be groggy all day, have no strength, faint several times and have a splitting headache. The winter here is really cold, but it is far from the biting cold when I got the diagnosis report. In Kunming, where the seasons are like spring, the warm air conditioner failed to warm my cold body. I shivered in the chair of the hospital with the diagnosis report and walked in the dark corridor of the hospital, as if I would finish this road in my life. ...
I lived in a mental hospital, which was really terrible: the windows of the ward were nailed, and the air was suffocating; I met a stupid patient when I was eating, and I was too scared to go to the cafeteria again. There are always auditory hallucinations when sleeping, children crying, adults quarreling, and countless insults. I am afraid, I am afraid that one day I will lose my courage and become a fool. I told my father, "I would rather die than be a fool." If you can't save me, please abandon me. "Suddenly, my father's eyes filled with tears.
I don't want to experience the pain that life is worse than death when I am sick. I feel physical pain, but there is nothing wrong with it, just pain. When the pain is severe, I keep rolling on the ground and feel my head is going to explode; Tears for no reason; Lazy, not lazy, just feel blocked and can't move; My memory is not as good as before. I remember that I can recite more than 60 pages in an afternoon at most. Now one or two pages are difficult, and many things can't be answered. It's already Wednesday, but my memory still stays in last week. Walking on the road, I often forget the way when I came; Insomnia, and going to bed early and getting up early, even the slightest sound will wake you up. Often cry in dreams and have nightmares every day; It's normal to want to die, but I don't want to commit suicide but hope something will happen; The dosage of sleeping pills is getting worse every day, but I still have insomnia. As we all know, fluoxetine means' you are my life, and I will die without you'. But only a few people know how big its side effects are. Once you start taking it, you are wasting your life.
During that time, I was anorexic, vomited everything and often vomited and diarrhea. I lost a lot of weight, and then I started taking nutrition injections. After a month of intermittent nutrition injections, my hands were covered with pinholes, and the situation began to improve because I couldn't find a place for injections. But he is autistic, unwilling to communicate with anyone, and trapped in his own world. Accompaniment at home is good medicine, and my parents spend time and money taking me around. I was shocked by the majestic Huangguoshu Waterfall. The culture of ethnic villages has changed my understanding of ethnic minorities; The seagulls in Dianchi Lake aroused my yearning for life. I started reading, practicing calligraphy, drawing, playing the piano, exercising, yoga and singing that my life is getting better and better. I never thought that I would like to read such world famous books as A Dream of Red Mansions and The Kite Runner.
Reading "Living" changed my understanding of living: Master Gui was addicted to gambling in his early years, and his father died in a stone jar. Richness began the life of farmers, getting up early and getting greedy for the dark, and the young hand was full of blisters because of planting crops, and the family was crowded in the broken straw house. I went to town to buy medicine for my mother, but I was accidentally caught and exiled. Before her death, my mother still believed that Fu Gui didn't gamble. The son was drained of blood and died, the daughter died in childbirth, the wife died of illness, the son-in-law died on the construction site, and the only grandson suffocated because of his negligence. Finally, there was only an old cow left beside him. For ordinary people, when their grandson dies, they have lost the motivation to live, and death may be a relief. But for Fu Gui, he just lived to live. We will come to this world, but we have to come; We will leave this world eventually, but we must leave. I remember a saying: life is the field of life, and every suffering sown will grow into a hope. They are our hands. Whatever you have on you, whatever you have on your shoulders.
The book "Alive" has accompanied me through the painful years. As time goes by, it melts into my bone marrow and my blood flows in my body. I have seen it three times: the first time I was interested in its title; The second time was after I committed suicide, I finished it with tears; The third time was when I was depressed about my life. People always have to die once to cherish life more, pessimism can only produce mediocrity, and optimism can create Excellence. It will accompany me for the rest of my life.
Everything is a gust of wind. You don't remember when it was windy. The front is great. Don't look back.