There is something that has troubled me for a long time. I cannot live in harmony with the living environment where I live, and I feel that my body and soul are out of place.
Initially changing interpersonal relationships, trying to "do things" and eager to get positive feedback. Doing things with expectations is tiring and damaging to relationships! Because what I did was for my own selfish desires, instead of thinking about the needs of others from the root, I went in the opposite direction and became more and more confused.
Placing your sense of security and value on others will make you worried about gains and losses, and your heart will be unstable. When things happen, you will swing back and forth like a weightless roly-poly.
I communicated my confusion with my friend. My friend said that she didn’t understand what I said. She only knew that I thought too much and wanted others to improve too much. What do you care about others? That's not your business, just do what you should do. It's not like you can't take care of yourself.
Epiphany: What she said makes sense, in simple and easy-to-understand language.
There is an example in "The Road to Wealth and Freedom" written by Mr. Xiaolai in the early days. He used to teach at New Oriental. Many students did not learn English well and their vocabulary memorization performance was still not good. Little do they know that their real problem is not vocabulary, but that their mother tongue is inherently bad. Chinese grammar is very vague and comprehension is very poor, let alone English. For a locked door, if you look for the key in the lock, you will definitely not be able to find it. You need to look for the key elsewhere.
On the contrary, the feeling that I am incompatible with my surrounding environment can be traced back to the fact that I and my inner world are incompatible with each other and cannot live in harmony. I don’t know how to get along with myself, let alone how to get along peacefully with the world.
Many celebrities say that loving yourself is the beginning of the ultimate romance. This probably means learning to get along with yourself first, making yourself comfortable before facing the troubles of the world.
I feel that my thoughts and actions are a little out of tune. I chose to write down these reflections and review them. I also hope to meet friends who can save myself together and gain liberation in writing.
So what can I do for "myself"!
I didn’t think deeply about it before, but now I feel like I am a person who cannot live independently. In the past, everything was just a favor in time, rather than the icing on the cake.
I also have a deep sense of disapproval. I have always felt that spending money on myself and making myself happy is a selfish thing, and I am embarrassed to enjoy it. This is probably due to the influence of my original family.
Therefore, I always choose to do things that are likely to make others happy. After being recognized, I will affirm my own value and feel happy in my heart. However, this is very risky. First of all, we don’t understand ourselves, let alone the roundworms in other people’s stomachs, so we can’t possibly know the real needs of others. Secondly, even if we know the real needs of others, we will feel worthless because we are limited in our ability to help.
Then I want to live in harmony with the world. I must first live in harmony with myself and have the ability to provide myself with happiness. So what can I do for myself? I have never done anything for myself. Now that I think about it, is it really a problem? Just think about it and try to communicate with your pen pals.
(1) Treat "myself" like a friend, connect with your inner self, and take care of your own food, drink, and sleep like a baby.
? Eat: Eat well three meals a day, and don’t miss one meal.
? Drink: Drink as much water as possible for your body according to the requirement of eight glasses of water a day.
? Sleeping: Go to bed around nine o'clock, go to bed around ten o'clock, and get up around six o'clock.
(2) To help your health, choose an exercise and keep doing it.
(3) Give yourself your favorite food, fruits, etc. every week
(4) Give yourself a bouquet of flowers every week and accept the power of nature.
(5) Give yourself time to communicate with books every day. The answers to your difficulties are in books, not in life.
(6) Take good care of your own living conditions every day, and be able to handle your emotions without hurting others!
(7) Cultivate a hobby of your own, swimming! Yoga! calligraphy! It will be all right!
(8) Write a diary of several hundred words every day, write something in the morning or evening, and sort it out!
(9) You must sit and think, develop hobbies, and reflect.
(10) Affirm yourself in the morning, read aloud, and enhance your inner strength.
? What kind of person was I before?
? Eager to be recognized, but afraid to take the initiative, doubting one's own ability, panicking when things happen, looking for excuses to escape responsibilities. Relying your own happiness on others, but not taking responsibility for your own happiness. If you don't get it, you will complain, accuse, lose, suffer, feel internally confused, self-doubt in pain, long for growth, constantly seek a way out, and constantly explore self-growth.
Overall, I am a lazy and hard-working person. I hope to become famous overnight but do not want to put in down-to-earth hard work. It is the image of a timid and cowardly person who desires to be brave and responsible.
Reading the first chapter of "The Blooming Flowers", I understand that life is spent in suffering. Pain is to awaken us to widen our perspective and look at problems from multiple angles. My pain is to make me One way to experience life is to be grateful!
? Doing things for myself and becoming friends with myself, and thinking about what kind of help I can provide to others to save myself and others. It should be a very romantic thing...