First go to a professional medical institution or a reliable psychological counseling center for diagnosis. In the eyes of ordinary people, the concept of the word depression is inaccurate. Many people don't understand the true meaning. Your daughter may just be a little depressed. As parents, you overreacted. Or it could be worse, and you haven't noticed it yet. Therefore, it is best to go to a professional medical institution for differential diagnosis, so as not to delay the illness.
Second, parents need not be too nervous. Even if you are depressed, don't be too nervous. The psychological problems of young people are easier to deal with, and the younger they are, the easier it is to deal with. As long as you receive professional treatment, you will generally be relieved. As parents, don't put too much pressure on your children. There is a process to relieve depression, and we can't rush it. Be sure to cooperate with the treatment of medical institutions.
Third, parents should review their own educational model. Children's problems do not exist in isolation. His roots may come from family, school or society. If children have problems, we adults should also reflect on ourselves. Is it too much pressure? Did the child suffer serious setbacks outside? Is there anything wrong with your body that adults can't notice? In short, adults should solve their own problems first.
Seeing your embarrassed expression, I felt the entanglement and sadness of a mother, the inner pull that I didn't want to admit but clearly knew that his current state was a little abnormal, and I had a feeling that I couldn't get rid of it.
But reality is reality, and his state tends to be abnormal. At least your feelings for him are not very good, so your attention is very important.
The child's state should belong to a manifestation of adolescence!
There are two places to pay attention to:
1. The child tends to be self-enclosed, which should be related to her interpersonal relationship with her surroundings.
2. You are already prone to depression, accompanied by signs of self-harm behavior (you must be alert)
What parents should do now:
1. Try to understand the child's feelings, identify with the child more, and specifically express affirmation and praise;
2. Say less "no"
3. While understanding the child, only express your inner feelings, which is unreasonable;
4. You can consult the hospital by yourself. It is not recommended to take your child with you to relieve the psychological pressure of your child.
Adjusting the relationship between parents may be a direction of change.
Good wishes!
The most important point is that parents should not accuse her of everything, scold her and vilify her. This is a kind of psychological medicine.
Depression needs a doctor to diagnose it. Don't jump to conclusions You can also find a psychological counselor to make an evaluation.
How long has your daughter been in this state? Does it affect your study? What's the sleep state like? How old are you now? What triggered her to be in this state?
Children need to make rules at home, such as minors using mobile phones every day and having to hand in their mobile phones at night 10.
Enjoy the right to be taken care of, but also enter a certain responsibility.
Hello, according to your description, your daughter is not depressed, but probably has entered a rebellious period and has a sweetheart. At this time, she needs your active guidance to help her build self-confidence and high self-esteem, instead of taking her to see a psychiatrist.
1, try to communicate with children in an equal manner. Rebellious children have been looking for a kind of self-identity, that is, they began to ask themselves "what kind of person am I". At this time, they began to explore outward, hoping to gain new self-identity through the surrounding environment, such as classmates, friends and even lovers. At this stage, if parents fail to keep up with their children's growth and development, and their cognition lags behind their children in many aspects, then the children will not have a new desire to explore from their parents, and the church will turn a deaf ear to their parents' words.
In addition, when children are young, the relationship between parents and children is an unequal one. However, after the child enters the rebellious period, with the development of the body, the child has regarded himself as an adult (only he thinks so), so I hope that parents can communicate with them in an equal tone and posture, that is, gain their parents' "respect", and the child will look up and even look down.
2. Respect children from the concept and refuse violence in words and deeds. In the rebellious period, children began to get out of childhood and gain recognition from others. In this process, they often "hit a wall". And those children with low self-esteem often have a higher proportion of negative tendencies or behavioral problems at this time (note: this is not depression).
Therefore, it is the most important task for parents to help their children build self-confidence and high self-esteem during the rebellious period. Parents must pay attention to their children's words and deeds, respect their children equally in concept, and refuse subjective speculation and violent words and deeds.
"Communication is the best way to solve the contradiction between parents and children." I hope that the subject can respect the child's "rebellion" with a peaceful attitude and an equal attitude as soon as possible, and try to have a real parent-child communication with the child. After feeling the simple love of parents, children can naturally open their hearts to you.
Finally, there are many articles about depression, which leads many parents to attribute their children's depressed mood/behavior to depression, but in fact, there are essential differences between depression and depression:
Depression is a very common emotional component, which occurs to everyone. When people encounter mental stress, life setbacks, painful situations, physical diseases, natural disasters and man-made disasters, it is natural to have depression.
However, depression is different. It is a pathological depression disorder, which is completely different from depression after setbacks. It is usually manifested as a bad mental state caused by the lack of objective mental stress conditions for no reason, which is often "incomprehensible and unhappy" to outsiders.
The simplest thing to distinguish between the two is to look at TA's reaction to unpleasant things. If depression is normal, if not, it is abnormal. Pay attention at this time.
Hello, parents, seeing your description of your child's current state makes me feel your worry and helplessness.
I need you to clarify a few questions.
1 How old is the child? How long has this been going on?
Can children still go to school now? What's the change in grades compared with before?
Has the child suddenly become like this? Or is it because of something?
Has the child's temperament changed a lot compared with her previous state?
These data are the basis for a simple assessment of the situation of children, which is very important.
What you can do now is to take your child to your local mental hospital for examination by whatever means.
Because I don't know your child's age, many things can't be evaluated, but it's important to take her to the hospital! Examination in specialized hospital.
Some of the children's current performances can feel your worry, even a little anxious and uneasy. Mothers can especially understand your feelings at this time. For the sake of your child, you are trying to help her. You have done a good job. I believe you will try your best to take care of your children in other ways.
Starting from the family, I have the following ideas to discuss with you for your reference:
1 sub angle
Descriptively speaking, children's current life is irregular, and people who have the habit of staying up late can easily lead to mood swings under the condition of insufficient sleep;
Whether the child is really depressed or not, it is most important for the child to be accompanied by your patient and warm love;
For the time being, there is no need to force children deliberately, but to guide them to carry out suitable, simple and sustainable sports, such as walking with their families.
If the child refuses to see a doctor for the time being, you can make a preliminary consultation by yourself, and usually make some video records, including the child's chat mode, words and actions, for the doctor's reference;
For your point of view.
You must have paid a lot for the baby. Maybe you have no time to take care of yourself.
When you are worried about your children, you will also be advised to find a professional psychologist for psychological consultation. If you are in a strong psychological state, this will also be indirectly given to children.
Perhaps you can choose more ideas or methods in the face of many things of children;
3 family atmosphere
You need to know the current situation of your family. Do you need to adjust it? The child's current state may be related to some states of the family. Whether many casual habits of the family affect the child requires self-examination and finding a suitable method.
Finally, I wish you and your children an early return to the sense of family picture that you all have common hopes and aspirations.
Hello, I'd like to express my suggestion after seeing the topic you asked:
First of all, as a mother, I understand how you feel. Your daughter feels depressed. Whether there is depression depends solely on "feeling". Besides, you're not a doctor or a counselor. You can't just label your child "depression" with "feeling". This needs to go to the hospital for examination, identification and evaluation.
Second, if the hospital diagnosed depression. The following suggestions hope to help you:
How to save yourself first?
1. moderate exercise. Exercise can produce dopamine, which is a "happiness factor". The more I don't want to move, the more I want to move If you don't want to move, your family will exercise with you.
2. Positive psychological methods. Learn to be friendly to your own problems and learn to accept your emotions.
3. Find out the reasons and practical problems behind it. When the real problem is solved, the mood will naturally be solved.
4. The method of keeping a diary. Express your emotions in words and release your negative emotions.
5. Nothing to do. Don't let yourself be too idle.
How can family and friends help people with depression?
1. It is suggested to seek psychological counseling or medication.
2. companionship. Talk to her more to prevent suicide. The more depressed you are, the less you can be alone. It is very important to seek some social support.
3. Accompany sports.
4. Accompany to do things you used to like or things you can concentrate on. Such as painting and calligraphy.
The patient can have a cat.
I am Chen Xin, a national second-level psychological counselor, a senior hypnotist and a national intermediate private psychological counselor. I hope my answer is helpful to you. I also hope that you can interact with me in the comment area, and I will try my best to help you! I wish my daughter get up early and get well soon!
"What if the child has" depression "? 》
Text: Dr. Sun Lanxin
At the beginning of this month, I received a WeChat from my best friend. She said that her son has been in a bad state recently, often unhappy and in a bad mood. I suddenly cried yesterday morning, saying that I might be ill. So my best friend took the children to the hospital. The doctor diagnosed depression and prescribed Prozac. And told to keep eating for a while and not to stop taking drugs casually.
The child was labeled with this disease at such a young age, and the best friend said that she was very sad.
A few days ago, my non-profit organization received an invitation to become an advocacy unit concerned about depression. The initiator of this activity thinks that depression is as common as a cold and fever. Don't be afraid of getting sick, and seek medical advice in time.
My best friend's child 1 1 years old has just entered adolescence. Will Prozac make him feel better? I think so, but can you answer the common questions that plague him in adolescence, such as what is the use of reading and what can you do in the future? Am I good or bad? Why do people live? Wait, wait, wait. Obviously not.
Prozac, can you help him create a healthy and warm psychological environment (family environment, school environment), so that he can make good use of his adolescent struggle and grow up psychologically? Obviously not.
I'm not against drugs, I'm just cautious.
Heart disease needs a cardiologist. Therefore, to treat "heart disease", we should start with "heart".
I have an appointment to have dinner with my best friend's family. I want to get to know this child in a natural and relaxed atmosphere.
He is sensitive to many things, such as the price of the menu, "Wow, every dish is so expensive, too expensive." He fidgeted in his private room.
During the chat, my best friend and I once talked about my son's poor academic performance, and my father and I were completely indifferent to his academic performance. The best friend's child immediately said: How can you neglect your study? I almost cried. ...
In the process of eating and communicating, I am trying my best to feel and understand this child. Including he has to step down from his seat from time to time and walk back and forth from time to time to calm his emotions and thoughts; His mother will regulate his behavior. Sometimes he obeys, sometimes he is reluctant, but because he loves his mother, he obeys, but when he can't bear it, he will bite the plate in front of him with his teeth.
After listening to his words, he expressed his views in a still immature voice. When I listened carefully, I found that he was indeed more thoughtful and insightful than other children of the same age. What flashed in the meantime was that he hoped to have a fairer, friendlier and more respectful educational environment for personality development. ……
Did you get a look at him?
Depression is not a simple label or mask. Behind it is a unique life and a fresh heart.
I feel that the food is expensive and the dining environment is luxurious. His words and expressions make me feel that he is a very sensible child, who knows how to care about his parents' hardships in making money, and is kind and simple. His reaction to the way we educate our children made me realize that he has deep sympathy, resonance and ambition for the weak ... I feel and sincerely appreciate all kinds of inner beauty revealed in his heart, and at the same time sincerely express my understanding, love and appreciation for him.
When every child's intrinsic value is definitely seen, that is, when Teacher Liao Zhixiang gives him a "deep glance", his mind will have an anchor. When the anchor is stable enough, he will enter into self-inspiration, self-correction and self-demand. He can be "born blind". "Nature" is the self-confirmation of one's life value.
An important sign of depression is a sense of worthlessness and meaninglessness. People often use "self-view" to enlighten people with depression and give them value. For example, your academic performance is excellent. Your parents need you very much. How can you say that you are a burden to others, but it doesn't work much.
I said a word before: people with depression have noble souls, and they are eager to find the true meaning, value and way out of life.
So what they long for is "self-ignorance", and the external social value can't completely fill their inner hole. "Depression" is a unique expression of their inner feelings, but they don't know it. Doctors are experienced in auscultation and have the right to speak within their own professional framework. Outside the medical framework, they may not hear or understand.
When someone can see his inner value, hear his soul's longing, reverence, respect and even appreciate his exploration of finding the true meaning and value of life, he must tell him where the way out is when necessary. I believe that many depression can be cured without drugs.
Of course, there are too few such counselors.
In the short time of being alone, my best friend's child suddenly said to me, it's very kind of you. If only everyone were like you. He also opened his heart to me and said, "I like being praised, but I really don't like being criticized." It's nice to feel that people can open their hearts and trust each other regardless of age. Love and trust are the best "heart medicine".
When I was leaving, my best friend asked me quietly, and I told her that her children could not take medicine at all. But she should know how to love her children and give them psychological support and strength.
The exploration and struggle of the mind itself is not a disease. On the contrary, it also contains the kinetic energy and desire of transformation and growth. Its appearance can be defined as "disease", but it can't just stay in the appearance and destroy the fruit from the phenomenon level. Instead, he is willing to go into his heart and use a "deep glance" to understand, sort out and resolve the cause, and bear the fruits of growth and joy.
-This article was written by Dr. Sun on 20 19 12 18.
Note: 1 is from the poem "This Wish" in Liao Zhixiang's A Course Record of Tao Te Ching (Wen Hui Publishing House, August 438+00, 2065).
Editor's note: when we can give a sincere glimpse of this life in front of us, depression can be cured without drugs, but too few people can do this! If you want to be such a psychologist, such a parent, such a relative or friend, please pay attention to the official account of "Sun Image Dialogue" WeChat and follow the offline course. Thank you for reading.
She gave her love and encouragement.