It can be seen that the author is just getting started. In terms of writing skills, hard-pen calligraphy is naturally inferior to the ever-changing soft-pen calligraphy
There are a few things I hope you will pay attention to:
1. Each word should have one and only one main pen
2. The writing of silkworm head and swallow tail should also be kept horizontally and vertically (especially for beginners)
3. The framework is not compact and loose, but somewhat rigid
4. Deepen the use of traditional Chinese, oracle bone and seal script in official script