In my impression, self-confidence means being able to do anything and not be afraid of anyone. A confident person seems to be omnipotent and omnipotent. In order to maintain a confident image, I will act as confident as possible.
1. What is true self-confidence
Recently, my ideas have been subverted and my cognition has been upgraded. When I saw Mr. Zhao, the founder of Gegu Finance, answering questions, he would calmly answer "I don't know" when faced with an unknown field. At the same time, my 2-and-a-half-year-old baby often tells me "I don't know how" to open snack bags and bottle caps. Lenovo seems to be afraid to admit that it doesn’t know or don’t know how to do something in front of others. This is a typical sign of lack of confidence. In comparison, Teacher Zhao and Baobao know the scope of their abilities. If they know, they say they know. If they don't know, they say they don't know. This is true self-confidence.
In fact, true self-confidence is based on self-evaluation. In other words, the premise of self-confidence is a clear understanding of one's own abilities. We Chinese people say that "it is important for people to know themselves", so self-confidence is not courage, self-confidence is not blindness, self-confidence is the understanding of oneself.
2. The role and misunderstanding of self-confidence
The role of self-confidence
1. From a professional point of view, self-confidence can help people fully understand their strengths and potential.
2. From a human perspective, self-confidence can make people feel good about themselves. This will reduce the chance of becoming bossy at work or feeling inadequate.
3. It helps to confirm the responsibility for one's own actions, feelings and thoughts, reduce the blame on others, and also reduce the responsibility for mistakes or insufficient explanations in one's own work.
4. It can save time and emotional consumption, reduce the trouble of offending others, and free yourself from calculating the interests of others.
5. Self-confidence is particularly important for children’s growth. As parents in the new era, we need to constantly enhance our own confidence, and at the same time, help our children build true self-confidence.
Myths about self-confidence
1. If you have self-confidence, you will definitely succeed: Success is caused by various factors, and many people think that if you have self-confidence, you will definitely succeed. If you don't work hard, you will eventually fail. Therefore, self-confidence is not a necessary factor for success. There are also factors such as perseverance, determination, and the right direction, but there is no most important factor for success.
2. Confidence is a by-product of success: Confidence does not come with success, but success can at most inspire a person's self-confidence, and self-confidence is not a by-product of success. Many people have experienced countless things before they succeed. Failure, does it mean they have no self-confidence?
3 The more confident the better: Excessive self-confidence is called arrogance, which not only does not help you at all, but also damages yourself.
3. Steps to enhance self-confidence
1. Start with small things
Trying to do everything in one night will not work. Before anything else, you should know this. As in many other situations, practicing this particular skill takes time, so be patient and keep it simple and gradual.
2. Say "No"
Don't think that saying "no" to someone is a bad thing. Occasionally you should do this, but you need to understand that not everything has to be done according to other people's requirements. If you don't have any other options right now, that's okay.
3. Forget about guilt
Feeling guilty because you turned someone down or said you were busy? Don’t do this, what you should do is take care of yourself first! Try to change this mentality.
4. Express your feelings
There is nothing wrong with telling others how you feel. You can't assume people can read your mind and know what you want from them - you have to be the one to tell them.
5. Research
Learn what true confidence is and how to overcome the spontaneous reactions and initial reactions you typically have to situations.
6. Speak directly
Talking candidly will earn you respect and give you the confidence to remain confident. Speaking up will solve most of your confidence problems with people.
4. How to help children build self-confidence
The essence of making a child himself is to let the child understand himself and believe in himself. Only by understanding himself can he believe in himself.
A child's understanding of himself initially begins with his understanding of his body, that is, he can crawl, he can reach things, he can walk, he can do some things, he can use his body, which is the child's first understanding. The form of self-confidence, so the child knows more about himself than he does about himself, and this child has the basis and possibility of self-confidence.
So we need to help our children build self-confidence initially. In fact, it is these four things. The first is who am I? What is the difference between me and others? The second question is, what can I do? What can I do? I can walk, I can crawl, I can get things, and I can drink milk by myself. These are all things I can do. The third thing is what I believe I can do. The fourth thing is. I love myself.
1. Who am I?
2. What can I do?
3. What do I believe I can do?
4. I Love yourself
So how confident a person is is often equivalent to how much he loves himself. Many people will definitely say after hearing this, of course I love myself, of course I love myself very much. I love people very much, even narcissistic people. There is an essential difference between narcissism and self-confidence.
Narcissism is the belief that oneself is perfect, that one is unique and perfect, that there is nothing wrong with me, that I am the most beautiful person in the world, and that I am the smartest person. Confidence means that I know what I can and cannot do. I know that there are some things that I can't do, but I still love myself. That's the essential difference.
Then the problem is, the baby is so young, from 0 to 3 years old or 0 to 6 years old. For such a young child, his self-evaluation ability is very low, which means that he does not know whether he is enough or not. Well, he doesn't know what kind of person he is, so who will he believe in his evaluation of him, of course his parents or caregivers who are always with them. Your evaluation of your child will determine how much he likes himself and how much he loves himself. Just like when we are in love, how much you love yourself depends on the other person's attitude towards you. How much you like yourself, in fact, It depends on how much your parents love themselves, actually it depends. How much your parents love you, how much your lover loves you, under many conditions, it is difficult for us to fully accept ourselves. At this time, we use another person, which we call the evaluation subject.
In layman's terms, if you love your child, and you tell him that he is a good child, then the child will know that he is a good child, and only then will the child truly love himself. Next, let’s briefly talk about three ways to cultivate children’s self-confidence. The first one must be based on things that the child is good at and likes and is interested in. If a child is interested in painting, then painting is to cultivate his self-confidence. A very good path for the heart.
If a baby. He is interested in sports. For example, he likes playing ball, swimming, walking, and running around in the yard. Physical exercise is what he likes and is good at. So this thing. It is easy to understand that it is easier to cultivate his self-confidence. If your child's handwriting is crooked, it will be difficult if you have to let him develop self-confidence through calligraphy. Self-confidence is a kind of quality, so what about this quality of will?
It doesn't depend on what happened to cultivate it. So don’t force your children to show confidence in things they don’t like. It’s unrealistic. So you should pay attention
to observation at home and in daily life. What is the thing that the child likes to do, what is the project that the child is good at, a big building block, if a child who is particularly good at it quietly builds the building blocks there, the child will be focused and confident. It is unrealistic to want this child to show confidence in another thing.
As a parent in the new era, we must respect the wishes of our children and teach them in accordance with their aptitude, instead of forcing them to develop according to your wishes.
The second way to develop children’s self-confidence is through validation processes. What is called the re-confirmation process is that children always like to do the same thing. They always tell you the same story, always play the same game, or watch cartoons, and always watch an episode over and over again. Why is this? Because the baby is constantly making predictions during the repeated process, he needs to confirm whether his prediction is correct. As a result, as he expected, the child will feel that remembering is right, then he will be recognized and encouraged, thus building self-confidence.
In the budding process of building a child's self-confidence in the early stages, what the child needs most is the process of having this judgment confirmed. That is, if my idea is correct, then if my idea can be verified, I will feel that I am a great person, which is the original psychological intention of children to build self-confidence. Therefore, I suggest parents that if your child asks you to tell the same story repeatedly, play a game with you repeatedly, or do something repeatedly with you, please do it happily with him. Rather than complaining about why this child is so bored and why he doesn't know how to change to new projects, you need to know that the things your child cares about are from a completely different perspective than you do.
The third one is parents’ recognition and communication methods
OK, next, the third one is the angle or way to allow children to truly gain self-confidence. . The way we communicate with our children, the approval of parents and the way we communicate with our children, will determine whether the children can receive the message that I am a good child and I am confident. We need to be able to cultivate children's self-confidence during parent-child communication. In other words, what we should often do with children is discussion, not evaluation.
What is discussion and what is evaluation? For example, two children are playing together. At this time, one of the children. Got another kid's toy. Or if we snatch another child's toy, what will we do as parents at this time? Ask the child to return it, right? Or tell the child, baby, you have to share, baby, you can't take other people's things, a lot , the correct truth comes, but what will happen at this time? You will still feel that you don’t understand me, I just want to play, or I just want to see, etc., etc., when we meet children When something happens, our first reaction is to tell our children the correct truth, right or wrong, so... Let's think about the correct principle from another angle. What is the correct principle? It means shouting, which means telling the children whether you are right or wrong. Evaluate your child's behavior. Well, this is because the child sounds like you don't understand me, which leads to him living in a bad environment where he doesn't agree, and it will be difficult to build self-confidence over time.