The whole is exquisite and dignified. Probably influenced by Wei Bei, there are some Erlang Mountains in every word, with two ends hanging down. This is a bit masculine. The horizontal folding pen of each word is also drooping. The strength may be insufficient.
Can you write twists and turns in the last stroke of the water character? Maybe it will be more generous.
The ink is too thick and the pen is too thin.
The water character is very affected by the "eight methods of constant characters" and is in place.
I cut some pictures by the way. Have a look?