I have a group of best friends who have been playing together for many years. But you know that as long as there is a friendship of more than three people, there will be differences between closeness and distance. For example, they and I are both good friends, but they may not be good friends with each other. But one mistake people often make is that my friends are also your friends, so friends like us who often play together established a group. The original intention of establishing the group is: we are all friends.
However, the fact is that two of us are not only not friends, but also incompatible enemies. Basically, the two of them didn't answer each other's words when we were chatting in the group. One of them would talk bad about the other when we were alone together, and inquired about the other's current situation, and learned that she was better than him. If you live a good life, you will pull down immediately.
Until recently, we suddenly discovered that one of them had quietly retreated. At that moment, I felt that I should have quit long ago. It was really embarrassing for me to stay in the same group with my enemy for so many years and watch her quarrel in it every day.
In past offline activities, the two of them have been together many times, saying hello and clinking glasses, but they always felt weird. Obviously everyone thinks it's weird, but no one breaks through this layer of paper, and the little broken ship of friendship is still standing strong, because everyone wants to save face.
I have a colleague. Our relationship was not good when we were working together. Although we did not break up, we still kept in touch with each other after leaving our jobs. We asked about each other's current situation and celebrated each other's holidays. well. But every time I saw her name and avatar when browsing the WeChat contact list, I felt disgusted, and again and again I paused for two seconds and slid over. I really can't bear to delete it, because I still have colleagues who I know, and they are all colleagues in the same industry. Maybe one day I will become a colleague again, and it will be awkward to delete it and see each other again.
However, one day I suddenly found out that she had deleted me. At that moment I was relieved. I thought to myself that you had finally deleted me. You were finally going to disappear from my world, my contact. Finally you are no longer on the list! Most people often feel uncomfortable when they find out that something has been deleted, but at that moment, I was really happy. This little broken boat of friendship that we clung to finally capsized!
We are often afraid that if the window paper is broken, the world will collapse, and it will be awkward when we meet again. Isn't it awkward for two people who tacitly hate each other to pretend to be friendly?
A relationship must be sustained to survive, and it will inevitably fall apart one day in the future. It's better to face yourself honestly earlier: I don't like him, I don't want to be friends with him, and I don't allow myself to stay in this embarrassing situation.
It would be better for me to quietly withdraw from your world than to burst out emotionally one day and tear it apart. Forgive me for deleting all your contact information. It doesn’t matter if you don’t forgive me. It’s good to use the three seconds of pain you felt when you found out that you were deleted by me in exchange for your own peace in the future.
Finally, I don’t have to peek into your Moments and find out that you have a better life than me and feel sad. I finally don’t have to be dragged by you to take photos with you. I finally don’t have to endure you posting photos of me but only P. I finally don’t have to post on Moments. Put you on the invisible list.
Since ancient times, there have been few pleasures, but many passers-by. The so-called friendship does not lie in the distance of space. If the heart is not here, it is just a passerby. I have several best friends who live in different places. Although we don’t meet often, there is always a tacit understanding of "I understand you" every time we chat. There is no interest relationship between us, and there is no need for value exchange. We just keep each other in our hearts in the purest way. corner. I remember my best friend said to me when she got married: "My dear, you must come back when I get married. I'm so scared. I don't dare to marry without you around." I said, "Okay, I will definitely go back. I didn't hand you over with my own hands." I don’t feel confident giving it to that man. “It’s a kind of unconditional dependence and trust.
And some people, who meet every day, wrap up their hearts and refuse to hand it over to the other person. They are obviously familiar with each other, but they are as unfamiliar as passers-by.
What kind of friends do we need? We eat with people we don’t like in order not to get on bad terms; we participate in their gossips in order to become one of them; we do things in order to make others feel that we have a harmonious cooperative relationship. Trying desperately to maintain relationships with people you don't like. Our time is wasted hanging out with people we don't like, and our energy is wasted listening to their complaints and gossip.
The energy that is consumed will definitely find a way to replenish it elsewhere, and what will be harmed then are our truly cherished friends. I don’t want to be consumed by others, nor do I want to be someone who consumes others. Therefore, give up inappropriate friends, lovers, and relationships that should be given up. Using caution in exchange for everyone being happy will make you look down on yourself.