To tell the truth, this problem has been bothering me for a long time since I was a teenager. I also like practicing calligraphy, so that I am addicted to it ... so I am willing to give up completely!
Calligraphy is a profound art, and art has a unique charm for some people. For people who don't understand art, they may envy this; But for those who are addicted to art, but don't take art as their main business, I'm afraid they sometimes feel distressed. Unfortunately, this is exactly what I used to be.
Indulging in this art, I know that calligraphy has brought me too much spiritual comfort and too much happiness. It is a spiritual paradise: even if I hit a wall in reality, once I enter this paradise, I will instantly regain my vitality and come into being, and forget everything outside. I seem to have entered another world to conquer. In this new world, there is no oppression and pain, only a process of unremitting pursuit and enjoyment; It has a completely different atmosphere from the real world, which fascinates me so much! It's nice to stay purely in the art world!
You can see from my description of my feelings; I am extremely sensitive to reality and my personal emotional world is very rich. When I want to escape from reality, I will walk into the world of calligraphy art, "hide in a small building and become unified, regardless of winter in Xia Chunqiu." In this way, I can quickly return to a balanced state of mind, so that I can avoid the pain caused by reality. In fact, I found that calligraphy is a medicine for me, a medicine to cure mental illness.
The problem is that this medicine is very special, and it will be addictive if used too much. It will strengthen a psychological model: once the reality is unsatisfactory, you want to escape into the world of calligraphy; Because there, our confidence and state can be restored quickly, so we feel that we still have strength! However, it turns out that if you indulge in the world of art for a long time, but don't take it as your main business, then you are doing nothing. The result must be that the main business is abandoned, which will affect your life and make your life even more unsatisfactory; The more unhappy you are, the more you have to seek spiritual comfort and enter the world of art, which is a vicious circle.
In other words, the function of art is not to cultivate sentiment and inspire people, but a kind of spiritual opium!
As for opium, when I am sober, I am determined to give it up decisively.
So I chose to give up calligraphy. Because I found that hiding in the art world certainly made me happy for a while; But the consequences of doing nothing for a long time made me more miserable. That is the reality. I failed. This failure can't be made up by "I still have my calligraphy". Doing a good job and doing a good job as a deputy are two different things. People won't judge my work because I write well and write well. If you don't do your job well in your post, you will only be angry and resentful.
Of course, I didn't want to understand this truth before. I just vaguely felt that it was not good and a waste of time to indulge in the art world. I still had many more important things to do, so I had to give up calligraphy. This idea is very realistic, and it is a typical helplessness forced by reality, because I was almost at the point where it was difficult to go to school because of calligraphy. If I don't concentrate on my studies, I will betray my labor. After all, my family is not rich. I can't have a lot of money to do what I want like those rich kids. I'm just a dancer in chains. The existence of calligraphy seems to increase the weight of my shackles. Friend, maybe you haven't reached my level yet. You still have a good house to live in, and you don't have to eat and wear three meals a day. However, when you think of your ideals and ambitions, will there be a heavy sigh in your heart?
After leaving the world of calligraphy, I plunged into reality. At first, I was really uncomfortable, but I forced myself not to go back. I wanted to study and solve practical problems seriously. However, the situation is not that simple, and there have been major repetitions-after I didn't practice calligraphy, I got better for a while; But life without opium is really painful, because I need a kind of psychological comfort. So I began to look for new spiritual sustenance. I chose Tang poetry, games, novels and music. I was addicted for a long time and played a different role. Some things even drive me crazy.
However, being addicted to these things is similar to being addicted to calligraphy: you continue to fail in reality because you have nothing to do. Therefore, repeated failures have made my mind clearer. This kind of sobriety is awakened by pain, and it is awakened by repeated lessons of reality. I used to forget the pain of the scar, but I was beaten too much and finally got a long memory: it really hurts!
So, I chose to give them up, at least I didn't indulge in them. Life is short, time flies, and I still have a lot of things to do. They are like beautiful women who once gave me the most beautiful warmth, but a good man can't hide in a gentle country all his life. Fighting on the battlefield may ruin my reputation and my life, but at least I won't regret it, because I have realized my weakness and have the courage to fight; I didn't give in to my cowardice, but chose to be self-reliant. So, it makes me feel a clear conscience.
"A real warrior dares to face the bleak life and face the dripping blood", I deeply agree. It is actually very difficult to admit your past cowardice and shortcomings. I used to deceive myself for various reasons, as if I could do anything, but I didn't want to be the best. But the reality has proved that I am escaping, and the reason for escaping is the lack of psychological energy or practical work ability. When I realized this, my self, which had been strengthened by various arts and hobbies, collapsed. Maybe I am a warrior, a successful person and even an omnipotent emperor in the art world; But in reality, I am really a clown, which is independent of my will or artistic achievements.
The tall and illusory me in the past collapsed and died. What is left is just a wandering and stumbling me in reality, a true, cowardly, incompetent and flawed me. It's good and important to admit this. It made me completely awake, knowing that I should think and do things from my own reality in the future, don't ignore my existing personality weaknesses, and don't set too high and unattainable goals, down-to-earth and step by step. I believe that in the secular life world, I will become a warrior, a successful person and even an emperor to some extent by facing the reality with a realistic attitude and pushing forward with a progressive attitude. So, what do I need those spiritual opium for? In the real world, I can put my position right and my mentality will not be out of balance. Besides, after all, I don't want to focus on art. My real main business takes a lot of time, so I basically don't have much time to indulge in art, so the problem will be solved naturally. Now I live a full and busy life every day, and occasionally I do some literature and art, but that's just a kind of self-regulation, and I won't indulge in it any more.
Think about some famous people in history, such as Song Huizong, who are good at painting and calligraphy and will eventually be captured; Li Yu, the queen of the Southern Tang Dynasty, wrote well, but became a prisoner. In the field of art, they are real emperors, but in reality, they have no ability to be emperors at all. If they take the initiative to abdicate, it is no harm to learn their own poetry and calligraphy, but they have not done so, which has brought disaster to the country and the people and is despised by the world. For the average person, doing a good job is the most important thing, because various conditions limit our all-round and free development, so we must deal with the relationship between primary and secondary-although it sometimes makes us feel extremely painful, but after persisting, looking back, we also find that the so-called pain is just that, not much more special than the routine. After all, the lessons of history have been placed in front of future generations. Should we repeat it? !
Today is just idle, and there are many codewords, which is also a kind of self-dissection. I hope it's useful to your friends.