Most jokes reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. The following is a brief summary of Chinese jokes that I compiled for you, for reference only, hoping to help you.
Concise Chinese jokes 1 1 Hui Xin Jie
Son: "Dad, how do you spell the simplified word" Hui "?"
Father: "There is a cloud under the herringbone."
Son: "Why?"
Father: "At the meeting, just say what others say. This is called' conformity'. "
2. Eat only one ton
The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown. The man's father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city.
Q: "How many people can come? Be prepared. "
My in-laws called back and said, "Not many people can go, just prepare a ton of rice." He wrote "ton" as "ton"
Soon I received a telegram from the countryside: "The wedding was postponed for one month, because it was difficult to get a ton of rice for a while."
3. the true story of apiegg
Director Jia said excitedly: "Today, the trade union invoice saw the movie The True Story of Api Egg."
A young man smiled: "Director Jia, you are mistaken. This is the true story of Ah Q, "What? I read it wrong! ? I have been playing cards for decades. Don't I understand preserved eggs, go away? "
The old man lost his teeth.
The two brothers took their grandfather to the hospital. Seeing that the word "age" on the registration form was wrongly printed as "order", the younger brother said to the doctor, "The word" order "is missing a tooth."
"It's' tooth', the doctor said, because this is an elderly clinic!"
5. Dr. Qu Yuan
In history class, the teacher asked the same student, "Who is Qu Yuan?"
"It's a doctor." The students answered.
"Nonsense!"
"What nonsense? The book says he is a doctor! "
6. Calligraphy art
A pair of fashionable young men and women walked into a newspaper office arm in arm. The young man pointed to a popular flower and said to the clerk, "buy a popular flower." The clerk smiled at him and handed it to him. Next to the young woman took off the frog mirror, took a look at the title of the magazine and asked; "Why is there more verticality in this opening?" The young man replied, "Is this the art of calligraphy?" "Oh." The young woman nodded.
7.bubble gum
In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "fresh fish!" " "At this moment, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:" bubble gum! The fish seller said to the sugar seller, "hey, why did you say my fish was ruined?" "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "Well, take the four of you with you. "
8. Don't use words
A clerk wrote on the blackboard the words "It's on sale now".
A customer next to him said, "Comrade, you wrote' zero' in retail."
The salesman glared at the customer and said, "Come on, there is a vertical knife next to the word' no'!"
9. The other party
Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen, looked at it and said, "Mr. Dong, I've heard a lot about you." Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou's business card and said, "Are you Mr. Ji?" Mr. Zhou is unhappy: "My name is Zhou. Why did you skin me? What have I done to offend you? " Mr. Chen said, "My family name is Chen. You cut off my ear, so you won't be interested in me skinning you? "
10, bet
In the stands, two strangers are arguing "A team must win. Wrong, just write my last name backwards! " A team must lose. Or write my last name horizontally! ""What's your name? " "Tian, what about you?" "Wang"
1 1, angry words
Yao and Li met in the tea pavilion and had a good talk. Li asked Yao, "May I have your name, please?"
Yao said, "My last name is Yao."
Li Yue said, "But the handwriting is ominous, and next to it is the handwriting of a thief and a woman?"
Yao listened to his words and turned to look at him. He replied that his surname was Li.
Yao replied, "But the word coffin is made of wood, and the word grandson's son is the first one?"
12, Putonghua
Southerners often speak Mandarin reluctantly. As the saying goes, Mandarin in Lan Qing is.
In the Republic of China, there was a man who envied being an official, so he put on an adjutant shelf all day, pretending to be an official, and took official steps.
Speak mandarin. One day at breakfast, I said to my family, "Go to my porridge box and get my green head." The family didn't understand and stared down. A man was furious and shouted, "Bastard! What can't be done! Don't you know that porridge is called porridge in Mandarin? Bamboo is homophonic with porridge. Isn't the bamboo box a porridge box? In mandarin, it is called head, and head is the same as bean. There is a bag of mung beans in my box. Is it not a green head? "
13, sir
Do you know whether a man or a woman came first?
B: There were men first.
A: according to what?
I don't even know that. Isn't this strong evidence that our people are called Mr.?
14, better late than never.
A teacher's interpretation of books is quite new. One day, it is said that it is not too late to mend. It's never too late to mend, animal name, compensation, supply, prison. This means that the world doesn't have to slaughter live sheep for sacrifice. "
15, outnumbered
There is a man who is ignorant, but always likes to show off in front of his children.
One day, his son came back from school and did his Chinese homework at home. When he wrote "there is a great disparity among people", he didn't know what it meant, so he asked his father. When his father saw it, he reprimanded him in a lecture tone: "What's the matter, you are in middle school and still can't read?" That is to describe the sufferings of the poor in the old society. Many widows can't live any longer, so they have to hang themselves. This is the so-called "gap between more and less". You should use your head more in the future. "
16, with the old scale composition.
Chinese teacher: "where is the idiom' half a catty and five liang'?"
Student: "In the math exam, I got zero for half a catty."
Chinese teacher: "Remember, you can't write with the old scale."
The paragraph in Chinese characters is very short: 2 1, Mid-Autumn Festival, moon viewing is a must-have program, and Chinese characters also come to hold the moon.
Dan Zi said: Once I relied on last month, I immediately had the courage to play Chang 'e.
Ba Zi said: I can't wait to get close to the moon, and I won't dry up soon, but I'm getting fat.
There is an old saying: I depend on the moon, and my old-fashioned appearance will change immediately, and maybe I will mess around.
Stop it: if I stand on the moon, it must be romantic.
Empty words: I have been in the past month, affectionate and unrestrained, and I am no longer empty.
The temple said: When I land on the moon, my hips will get rid of gravity and stop sagging.
2. Chinese characters are angry, and the word "Dan" says: I want to get rid of Japan, resist Japan to the end, and persist in victory wholeheartedly.
The word "Zao" says: I want to leave Japan and be an anti-Japanese doctor with a red cross medicine box on my back.
The word "Xu" goes: if you die, you must resist Japan in addition to Japan.
The word "purport" says: I want to take off the sun and stab the right-winger in the chest with a dagger.
The word "star" says: I want to destroy the sun, life is Chinese characters, and death has an anti-Japanese soul. ...
3. Mr. Li said to his son, "Chinese characters are words with sound, form and meaning, such as the word' ye'. Its traditional Chinese character is' ye', which means that his father is a little hard of hearing, so he is a grandfather."
The son said, "I see,' Dad' is a strict father."
Mr. Li said, "If you don't want to call me dad, just call me dad."
The son said, "Many dads are called dads, and I only have one dad. I can only call dad. "
The soldier said to Qiu: Brother, did you step on a mine? Did you lose your leg?
The king said to the emperor: What are the advantages of being an emperor? Look, your hair is all white.
Mouth to mouth: honey, you haven't said a word for so long;
The fruit said to the naked man: Dude, you might as well be naked!
Bibibe said: Why do couples divorce?
The towel said to the coin: wearing a doctor hat is worth a hundred times;
I said to the giant: the same area, but I have three rooms and two halls.
Jokes in Chinese characters Jane III. Eat jiaozi.
One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.
The beautiful service lady came to ask, my friend always missed any opportunity to practice Chinese and rushed to say, "How much is a sleep?" ?
The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.
Jiaozi served it, and I asked him if he wanted mustard.
He invited another young lady. Is there a "program"?
The young lady said brightly, "Yes, what program do you want?"
"That's the yellow one!"
Eat standing up
A foreign girl married to China. When eating breakfast, I was pointed out that I can't eat fried dough sticks: "Dip it."
She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!"
Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "
Do what you see.
Once upon a time, there was a landlord who loved chickens very much. The tenant rented his land, but it was not enough to pay the rent. He must give him a chicken first.
A tenant named Zhang San went to pay the rent to the landlord at the end of the year and rented it out the next year. When he went, he put a chicken in a bag and paid the rent. Then he told the landlord about the land lease for the next year. He insisted that his hands were empty. He said, "There are no three kinds of fields." Zhang Sanming understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.
As soon as the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his tune and said, "If you don't give it to Zhang San, who will you give it to?"
Zhang San said, "Your words have changed so quickly!"
The landlord replied, "That sentence was nonsense (chicken talk)", and now it is accidental (chicken talk). "
The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you." One kind of shooting, the other kind of bombing. Let me show you. )
A foreigner came to China and gave himself a China name, Mao Wei. He is looking for a job in China. He came to a company and a man asked him, "What's your last name?" He replied, "My last name is Wei." "Wei what?" "Why? Why am I surnamed Wei? Needless to say? "
The bus I drove arrived at the station that day, and the passengers got off in a column. At the moment when the door was about to close, a lady shouted outside the door; "I will die in your car!"
I was so nervous that I closed the door immediately, stepped on the gas pedal and thought; "There are many strange people in this city."
Unexpectedly, the lady called a taxi to chase my bus and finally stopped.
The door opened and the lady shouted again; "Why don't you stop? I am going to die in your car! "
I dare not ask her; "Miss, what's bothering you?"
He angrily walked to a seat, then picked up a bunch of keys and said to me; "I'm dying [the key is in your car!"
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