As the saying goes, a good word warms three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June. Speaking is really a science.
people who can talk are blessed from heaven; He who can't speak, disaster comes from his mouth.
Emperor Qianlong visited the south of the Yangtze River six times. Once, when he was playing in Suzhou, he was attracted by a rockery in a lion forest. When he was happy, Emperor Qianlong wanted to show off his calligraphy, so he mentioned the three characters "How interesting" on the rockery.
As we all know, Ganlong likes to dance and write ink. He has written nearly 4, poems in his life, but the quality is not very good.
The word "really interesting" is known to everyone who has read the book, which is too common and has no technical content. But everyone thinks so in their hearts, but they dare not say it. If they say it, they may lose their heads.
gan long knows it in his heart, but the words have been written, so you can't go back on your word.
At this time, a champion with a glib tongue came up to flatter him, boasting that the word "You" was well written, and begging to give him the word "You", which would be a great honor.
Qianlong got the message and gave him the word "you". In this way, the remaining word "true interest" is particularly tall.
The champion not only saved Qianlong's face, but also got the imperial pen from the emperor. Both of them were happy.
Guiguzi once said: The mouth is the gateway to the heart. The heart is the Lord of God. Intention, happiness, contemplation and ingenuity all come in and out through the portal. Therefore, it is awkward to make it in and out.
the mouth is the window to the soul, and the soul is the master of the spirit. Will, thoughts and wisdom all go in and out through this door and window. Therefore, guard this pass with open and closed doors to control access. Therefore, we should be "cautious".
as we all know, if you succeed, everything you say is right and reasonable.
If you are down and out, you must be careful what you say and do. Even if you are right, others will ask: Why did you fail?
Therefore, people who are poor can't talk nonsense, and if they don't have money, they should take care of things as little as possible. This is great wisdom.
In the book Guiguzi, there are three sentences that you should never say when you are poor, to help you learn how to behave in Jianghu and avoid detours.
1. Don't say angry words
People are human because they know how to control their emotions. As the old saying goes, if you can tolerate others but not ninjas, you will be successful in the future. If you are quick for a while, you will regret it for a lifetime.
nine times out of ten, things will happen when life is unhappy, and it is unwise for you to vent your anger and take it out on others. People who say angry words often like to talk fast for a while, which is easy to offend people and will also be played in the palm of their hands.
Mount Tai collapses in front of us, but its color remains unchanged. Only in this way can we be a shrewd person in front of great events without being seen through by others.
During the Three Kingdoms period, with the help of Xu You, Cao Cao defeated Yuan Shao and won Jizhou.
When Xu You first came to defect, Cao Cao went out barefoot to meet Xu You and regarded him as a distinguished guest. However, after winning Jizhou, Xu You has no use value, and Cao Cao is suspicious by nature, and it is even more impossible to entrust Xu You with an important task.
Therefore, Xu You has a great inner gap and is very angry. Every day, she is drunk as mud at the gate of Jizhou and does not make progress. Think at the beginning, under Yuan Shao's door, he was also a highly reused strategist, but now he is mixed to the point where no one cares, and he is extremely down and out, so Xu You is very unhappy.
One day, at the city gate, Xu You saw Cao Cao and said, Cao Aman, without me, you can't get Jizhou.
actually, this is also a fact, but it is also angry words, which is a taboo for being a minister.
for the first time, Cao Cao nian ignored him because he was a meritorious minister.
I don't know. The more Xu You thought about it, the angrier he became. He cursed Cao Cao on the rostrum all day.
Cao Cao had a tiger general named Xu Chu. The Prime Minister Cao couldn't stand it, but Xu Chu couldn't. He raised his sword and fell, and Xu You died.
2. Don't talk big
Everyone has vanity, but to exaggerate one's abilities excessively is to talk big. Such people are extremely insecure and want to be recognized by others.
However, the fact is often counterproductive. In the long-term relationship, everyone will think that this person is false and will not associate with him. A boaster is like a buffoon, making everyone laugh.
furthermore, people who love to talk big are usually incompetent, and those who are really capable are often very low-key. To say a big lie may take a lot of lies to make it round. A bottle with less than half a bottle of light is likely to be isolated and everyone will avoid it. What's more, they will make a big mistake because of their big talk.
During the Warring States Period, there was a Taoist priest in Zhao State, commonly known as Jianghu Taoist priest, who mostly referred to fortune telling and alchemy. He wandered the streets every day, unable to eat enough, and especially liked to talk big, so as to fool others and make a living. He called himself a fortuneteller, who had lived for thousands of years and had met Yao, Shun, Yu, Huangdi, Yandi and others. Everyone was dubious about this and didn't take it to heart.
One day, Zhao Wang went out hunting and accidentally fell and was seriously injured. The doctor suggested drinking blood for thousands of years to cure the disease. At this time, the prince of Zhao remembered that there was an alchemist in Zhao who claimed to have lived for thousands of years, so the prince of Zhao sent someone to take it down and take blood.
The alchemist was so frightened that he quickly knelt down and begged for mercy, saying that he had been talking big before and had never lived that long. But the prince of Zhao didn't believe it, thinking that he lied to save his life, he killed him anyway.
it's easy to talk big, but how do you get it back? This is really difficult.
3. Don't say anything frustrating
Life is always full of bumps and difficulties. If you choose to blame others and indulge in depravity, you will never get out of the difficulties.
At this time, you should reflect on yourself, why you failed, sum up your experience and start all over again. Failure is the mother of success. Failure is not terrible. What is terrible is losing the courage to start all over again.
those who only care about themselves and complain all day long, will naturally stay away from good luck. People don't want to associate with such people.
People who are sweet-tongued and lovable, no matter what you say is true or not, everyone likes them. Good luck comes.
in 22 BC, Han Xin was ambushed on all sides. Xiang Yu, the former overlord of the western Chu state, was defeated and retreated to the bank of Wujiang River. It happened that there was a boat parked on the bank of Wujiang River.
Seeing that the Han army was coming soon, the curator advised Xiang Yu to cross the river, saying: Although Jiangdong is small, it still has more than 1, miles of land and hundreds of thousands of people. When the king crosses the river, he can still be king there. If you stay in the green hills, you won't worry about burning wood, and you will find another cause another day.
Xiang Wang said with a wry smile: What can I do if the sky dies? Xiang Yu attributed his failure to "the death of heaven".
He knows that Han Xin first worked under his account. If he has a good eye, history may be rewritten. And at the hongmen banquet, he had a chance to kill liu bang, but he missed the opportunity because of his conceit and arrogance.
if Xiang Yu retreats to jiangdong, it is not impossible for him to make great achievements in the future, but Xiang Yu is arrogant by nature and chooses to complain about others. So, it's not that the sky is going to kill him, but it's self-destruction.
As the old saying goes, every man sweeps the snow in front of his own door, never mind the frost on other people's tiles. When people are down and out, in addition to not talking nonsense, don't worry about the following three things to avoid getting burned.
1. Disputes
Don't persuade others to be generous if you don't know their sufferings. If you encounter another person's dispute, you are not in it, so you can't understand the feelings of others, because the needle sticks to others, so you won't feel very painful.
Things that have nothing to do with you. If you don't know the truth, get involved, make wild speculations and cause more trouble.
As a result, you, who speak lightly, did not solve the dispute at all, but aggravated the development of the situation, involved yourself in it and set yourself on fire. Why?
Yu Qian, the cross talk queen, once said that the important thing in life is to mind your own business and not other people's business. I think it makes sense. Many people can't even manage themselves well, let alone manage others. I thought it was a mess for others.
Second, take responsibility
In times of poverty, we should be more cautious in doing things. As the saying goes, the earth is as bold as the sky is productive. What you do should match your ability, and you should not take responsibility for no reason, think twice and consider the consequences.
For example, if the leader gives you a task, if you haven't done it, you must remember not to brag in front of the leader and say that you can complete the task. If you don't do it well, you will definitely be criticized.
You can say that I will do my best, so even if you don't do it well, the leader may think that you have done your best.
Nowadays, many people have worked as guarantors. Party A and Party B have a loan relationship, and they find passerby C as guarantor. After a few years, passerby B failed in business and could not afford to pay back the money. The money needs the guarantor, passerby C, to repay the money for Party B, and passerby C regrets it too late.
Therefore, it's best not to take responsibility on your shoulders.
Third, things you are not sure about
Sun Tzu's Art of War says: If you count more victories, you will count less victories. From this point of view, you will see whether you win or lose.
The "calculation" here refers to the odds of winning, and more refers to the sure victory. The greater the odds, the greater your chances of winning.
Nowadays, shopping malls are like battlefields, a war without smoke. If you are at a low ebb and fail again, you may go to rolling in the deep, so don't fight unprepared and do anything you are not sure about.
In World War II, the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor with no consideration for the consequences, and they were not sure that they would win, but they still put all their eggs in one basket and launched a sneak attack regardless of everything.
Although it won a short victory, it paid a heavy price. Two fat dolls razed two cities in Japan.
Sum up
Have you learned the above six ways of dealing with people? When people are poor, don't say angry words, don't talk big, and don't say discouraging words. When there is no money, no matter what the dispute is, no matter what the responsibility is, don't do anything that you are not sure about.
Only by mastering these basic principles of dealing with people can we be at home in the Jianghu.
For more than two thousand years, Guiguzi has been sought after by later generations. Military strategists respect him as a saint, strategists respect him as the ancestor, fortune tellers respect him as the granddaddy, strategists respect him as the sage, famous artists respect him as the granddaddy, and Taoism respects him as the ancestor of Wang Chan.
Guiguzi is also praised by later generations as "the forbidden fruit of wisdom, an extraordinary book". This book summarizes the success or failure of life and gives you directions when life is low.
Today, I would like to recommend five good books for you, which are Guiguzi, Wolf Road, Murphy's Law, Weakness of Human Nature, and Parchment. These five books are called "must-read books for successful people" and "five books that will benefit people all their lives".
I didn't know until I read Guiguzi: If you meet a pig, you don't have to talk to him about ideas, because he cares about feed.
After reading Murphy's Law, I know: pain without words is a kind of wisdom; Laughing without saying a word is an open mind.
I didn't know until I read Wolf Road that it is temperance and self-discipline to distance people.
I didn't know until I read "The Weakness of Human Nature": I can make sense to you with a smile, or I can turn my back on you and tell you the rules.
I didn't know until I read the scroll: Don't give up until the last moment.
Every book contains a wealth of psychology, and there are concrete examples to help you digest. These five books are indispensable wisdom in your life, work and entrepreneurship.
Five 7 yuan books, one for more than ten yuan, can be said that there are few books with such high cost performance. As long as you take one less detour in your life, it will be worth the money back. Friends who like it click on the banner below to buy:
These five books are enough to learn how to behave.