There is a saying in "Caigen Tan":
"The eagle stands like sleeping, and the tiger walks like a disease, which is exactly what it does to grab people and bite them. Therefore, a gentleman must be smart and not show off his talents, so that he can have the strength to shoulder his responsibilities. "
It means that when the eagle stands, it is like sleeping, and when the tiger walks, it does not show its power. This is their most dangerous and majestic place. Therefore, a gentleman with high emotional intelligence also knows how to be introverted, low-key and humble, and gradually improve himself to become better.
a truly mature person is knowledgeable enough, but his posture is low enough, which not only makes people feel like spring breeze, but also shows the pattern of responsibility.
In this life, people should do the following three things:
Don't be careless, don't argue about right and wrong, and don't miss the edge.
1 It is a kind of self-cultivation not to be disorderly.
Mr. Zhou Guoping once said:
"proper limit is a sign of maturity, and interpersonal communication should know how to keep the necessary distance between people."
We often say that "going too far is too late", which requires us to master proper limit when dealing with people.
Everything in the world is in a "degree".
Not long ago, I was deeply touched by an incident at a class reunion.
On that day, classmate Xiao Q told about his hardships and achievements in starting a business. The students present lamented his difficulty and admired his achievements, and raised their glasses to him to express their blessings.
As the party drew to a close, what he said instantly embarrassed the harmonious painting style.
He said, "I have to pay for this meal today, so don't rob me. You ordinary office workers, after all, earn a few dollars ..."
The party organizer immediately got up and showed his attitude:
"Thank you for your generosity, but we still stick to the original plan. It is more meaningful and comfortable for everyone to come together!"
at a reunion after a long separation, it is friendship that brings everyone together, not who pays the bill.
Xiao Q's kindness, because he ignored his classmates' feelings, made everyone psychologically uncomfortable.
The more proper limit you associate with people, the more comfortable you feel.
No malice doesn't mean no harm. Learn to hide your superiority, grasp the attitude when communicating, and avoid sharp words. This is the measure of getting along with others.
all relationships in the world have insurmountable boundaries.
it's a person's supreme accomplishment to do things beyond bounds and be measured.
2 It is a kind of wisdom not to dispute right or wrong.
Lin Yutang said, "No dispute is a great struggle. If you don't argue, then everyone in the world will not argue with it. "
Don't dispute right and wrong, that is, don't consume yourself because of meaningless arguments. People who know how to dispute right and wrong have the lubricant of interpersonal relationships.
Someone asked the wise man, "You are always so calm and calm. How do you do it?"
The wise man replied, meaningless arguments and theories, he usually only replied, "Well, you are right."
The questioner was adamant: "You are running away, and this is not the right way to handle it!"
The wise man nodded: "You are right."
Wise people speak because they have something to say; Fools talk because they want to.
a wise man will not waste his energy arguing on meaningless things.
as yang Jiang said, "I don't argue with anyone, and I don't care about anyone."
in a noisy world, stop talking at the right time, see through without breaking, and don't argue about doubts. It is kindness to others and self-cultivation.
If you don't dispute right and wrong with your lover and partner, you will gain more happiness;
if you don't argue with your relatives and friends, you will get more understanding;
with your work partners, you will become more tolerant and open-minded.
it can be seen that it is free and easy to argue, and it can support the pattern.
"The husband is the only one who does not dispute, so the world can't compete with him."
"endure calm for a while and take a step back."
if a person looks down on gains and losses and does not dispute right and wrong, then nothing in the whole world can compete with him.
a temporary dispute will not have long-term benefits. The more you fight, the more you will be bound. It is better to be like water, not to fight, not to grab, and to be tolerant and open-minded.
Life is not a battlefield, so there is no need to compete with each other. As the saying goes, do good deeds, and Mo Wen will have a good future. Do your own thing quietly, and lose the heart of gain and loss. What is right will come again, and what belongs to you will not run away.
meaningless arguments will only ruin your mood; Unnecessary excuses will only lose education.
Everyone has his own experience and does not argue with others by his own judgment. This is the great wisdom of life.
learn not to dispute, and the beauty in the world will be linked with you.
3 It is a kind of foresight not to show your edge.
As the saying goes, "The rafters that stand out first rot."
don't be smarter than others, and don't be more high-profile. It's no good to win than to die quickly.
My cousin often talks to me about his career story. What he says most is that the relationship with colleagues is not easy to handle.
after listening to his experience, I let him judge for himself why. He hesitated for a long time and said, maybe my performance is too good!
I woke him up bluntly: "It's not that your performance is too good, it's that you are too sharp-edged and hurt others' self-esteem."
In meetings, he is always the first to speak, and sometimes even when the boss wants to speak, he has to speak his boss's thoughts first. What's the hard problem with work? He always feels that he is better than others, and he wants to get ahead of others. After making achievements, he will emphasize how great he has done in front of leaders and colleagues ... < P > After a long time, he found that leaders and colleagues don't like talking to him very much.
I told him:
Everyone has his own opinions. If we regard others as mediocrities and only have our own insights, regardless of other people's feelings, then we are likely to be the first to be eliminated.
the so-called "low ground makes the sea, and low people are king". The more excellent people are, the more they know how to converge.
a truly powerful person is excellent and not sharp, but eye-catching and not dazzling.
Think of the story of Li Xiaowen, an academician of Buyi who is called "sweeping monk".
As an academician of Chinese Academy of Sciences, he has won numerous honors and trained more than 16 doctoral and master students, especially in the field of remote sensing.
In the teaching process, his style is deeply liked by the students. Because in him, he can't find a high position, but he leans down to discuss problems with students, encourages students to express their views, and then gives guidance.
If a student points out his shortcomings, he will accept them with an open mind and seriously improve them.
You don't need to show your talents, you should be more self-sufficient in your contributions, and you should always keep a low profile and modesty, which is a portrayal of a gentleman.
the wise are not sharp, but the wise are not proud.
"An open-minded bamboo has bowed leaves, while a proud plum has no flowers on its back."
The tall and straight bamboo leaves are facing down, and the arrogant plum blossoms don't care whether the petals are facing up.
your knowledge can be wide enough, but your posture must be low enough.
strength can't reflect a person's height, but low-key and humility can make a person go further.
4
In Lun Shu, it is said: "When you use a pen, you must be restrained. If you don't hide the front, your words will be sick."
The introverted and sharp-edged characters in calligraphy have their own defects. Characters need to be hidden, and so do people.
It is self-cultivation to live a whole life, not to be disorderly; Do not dispute right or wrong, it is foresight; It is wisdom not to show your edge.
Walking in the world, I hope we can all have the cultivation of pushing ourselves and others, the pattern of belittling gains and losses and the realm of gentleness and humility.
Use the Tibetan front to defend oneself, and describe your own heavy life background.
About the author: Erpang. Make a little progress every day and keep moving towards a better life.