Spring scenery by the lake is good, so you can go to the temple to worship the sages.
Everyone is pregnant with five mountains, and the cold window is accompanied by a long night.
Throughout thousands of miles, the world is Suzhou and Hangzhou.
Let's start with rhyme.
According to the Five Laws, there are not many phonological errors, only two:
First, the second rhyme "Xiang" belongs to "Twenty-two Yang" and the rest belongs to "Seven Yang";
The second is the word "ju" in the second sentence. The metrical requirement is pouting, and this word is always pronounced flat.
It is not difficult to use pingyun water. The general rhyme of your poem is "Qiyang", so you must put all the rhyming words in this rhyme. The full text of "Seven Yang":
Yang Yang Xiangguangchang Changtang Zhuangchang Cang Yangyang Yangyang Chuang Fang Fangliang Niang Zhuang Huang Cang Zhuang Xiang Xiang Xiang Xiang Xiang Chuang Forgotten Wang Taste Compensation Gun Fang Lang Tang Kuang Kang Cang Kuang Huang Hang Xiang Liang Hang Xiang Qiang Qingjiang River.
Let's talk about confrontation
Rhyme should at least be couplets and necklaces, but your whole poem is not couplets. This must change. For example, "the lakeside is beautiful in spring, and the temple is respectful to the virtuous", with a subject-predicate sentence in front and a conjunction sentence behind it, which is not antagonistic. If you change it to "view the lake, visit the temple and respect the sage", it is a serial sentence, which runs counter to it.
As for the content of poetry, I won't comment, because poetry is the poet's own expression of emotion, and each has its own advantages.