There is a classic poem in "The Story of Pipa": I originally set my heart towards the bright moon, but the bright moon shines on the ditch. The falling flowers follow the flowing water deliberately, but the flowing water has no intention of falling in love with the falling flowers.
The meaning of the poem is roughly: I treat you with good intentions, but you are indifferent and don't appreciate it, that is, your sincere efforts have not received the rewards and respect they deserve.
In daily life, when we recognize and like a person, we will naturally give everything to him from our heart and soul, hoping that the other person can feel our sincerity. However, the relationship between people cannot be "reciprocal", especially when you meet some unintentional people, no matter what good intentions you do to them, they will all be in vain, and they will not take your good things seriously. Here, they will even look down on you.
When your hot face is stuck with someone's cold butt, you should stop your losses in time and don't continue to trample on your dignity. Especially the following three things, don't do them again, it's not worth it.
When others ask you for help, you agree to their request without hesitation. Don’t think that this is the most righteous act. In fact, others will regard your help as cheap. , not equal.
In "Only Thirty", Zhong Xiaoqin is a property manager, but in the department she is a "fire extinguisher", putting out fires wherever they are on fire. Every day after she took the first step into the company, voices calling her came from all corners of the office, "Xiaoqin, the coffee machine is broken again, please fix it", "Xiaoqin, the printer has a paper jam, come over and fix it." , "Xiaoqin, do you have a needle and thread? Lend me some"...
Every time she hears a call from a colleague, the simple and kind-hearted Zhong Xiaoqin always responds with "Here you come" and "Hello" immediately. , "Coming soon." Even before her chair was warm, she was helping her colleagues with chores non-stop. She seemed to be spinning like a top.
Responding to other people's requests as soon as possible does not mean that you are warm-hearted or kind-hearted, but it just reflects your cheapness.
You must know that the relationship between people requires reciprocity. I will help you when you are in trouble, and you will help me when I am in trouble. This kind of equal exchange is meaningful. value. But if you blindly provide help to others and help others solve their problems as soon as possible, when this becomes a habit, it will be easy for the other person to take it for granted. When you don't help him one day, he will treat you a lot. Blame and condemn. Your kindness to others is not taken seriously by others. It is really a hot face but a cold butt.
There is a kind of person who is more emotional. When others complain to him and vent their frustrations, his mood is liberated. However, he kept this matter in his heart for a long time and could not get over it. He would also give too many suggestions to others, which made the person involved feel that it was making a fuss out of a molehill.
My friend Li Zhen had a conflict with her boyfriend and found Chen Mei to talk to. Chen Mei was aggrieved by Li Zhen's incident, thinking that her boyfriend was too much of a bully, and bluntly said that he was a scumbag. Li Zhen did not expect that Chen Mei would be even more excited than herself.
After complaining to Chen Mei, Li Zhen felt much better. After returning home, she slowly reconciled with her boyfriend. But this incident has always been in Chen Mei's mind and she couldn't erase it. She couldn't bear to see her good friend being bullied, so she thought of many ways to seek justice for her friend.
She asked Li Zhen to teach her boyfriend a lesson and took the opportunity to run away from home to make him angry. But seeing that Li Zhen had reconciled with her boyfriend, Chen Mei felt that Li Zhen was too opinionated and principled, and kept scolding her not to be too weak. Li Zhen felt that Chen Mei was a little too much. She could solve her own problems, so why was it her turn to offer advice? Besides, whether they live well or not is the business of the couple, and it is unreasonable for outsiders to interfere.
Because Chen Mei's "warm-heartedness" made Li Zhen feel suffocated, the two even fell out.
As the old saying goes: Don’t persuade others to do good unless they have suffered. If you are not the person involved, you will naturally not understand the person's thoughts. Don't force your ideas into others, as this will only make people feel disgusted. Originally, your fight was too intense, which resulted in backfire and annoying people. It was really not worth it.
Around us, I believe everyone has experienced this feeling: In the eyes of others, this is an insignificant matter, but in the eyes of others, you are more anxious than others. As the saying goes: The emperor is not anxious and the eunuch is anxious, but the parties involved are all. If you are not nervous, if you care too much about other people's affairs, you will only end up making others dissatisfied.
My cousin plans to buy a house in the suburbs. After hearing this, my cousin and cousin felt that my cousin’s idea was too trivial. Since my cousin works in the city center, it is more convenient to buy a house near the city center. . But my cousin didn’t have much savings on hand and could barely pay the down payment for a house in the suburbs. My cousin was so anxious that she stamped her feet and said bluntly: You will definitely regret it in five years.
My cousin felt that my aunt was worrying too much. If she was so nervous, it would be better for her to help pay a fee and help him out. My cousin also consciously took out 300,000 yuan to lend to her cousin for the down payment, hoping that he would buy a house in the city.
After the down payment was made, my cousin endured huge pressure to repay the mortgage. Later, due to job transfer, my cousin was unwilling to go to work in another city, so he resigned out of desperation. He began to blame his cousin for making his own decisions. If she had not encouraged her cousin to buy a house in the city, he would not have been under so much pressure. His cousin once again reached out to borrow money from his cousin, but his cousin backed down: I was doing it all for your own good, but in the end you bit me back, you're like a white-eyed wolf.
At this time, it was true that the father-in-law was right and the mother-in-law was right. Both the cousin and the cousin felt that they had been cheated by the other party, and in the end they could not even be relatives.
Indeed, there are too many over-enthusiastic people around us. They like to give others opinions and are overly nervous about other people's private affairs. When something goes wrong, he is the first person to blame. We don’t need to worry about things that the parties concerned are not anxious about. It’s good to mind our own business. There is no need to mind other people’s business and let ourselves worry blindly.