1. Sharing classic humor
1. Chief Li’s family has three girls, one is five years old, one is three years old, and the other is only over one year old.
As soon as Section Chief Li came home every day, the three girls would rush up to him and pester him. In the end, he always said to please: "Be good, be good, don't make any noise.
The eldest brother is the best, and the second child is also good, but the third child is not." The wife was not convinced after hearing this: "You Why do you talk like this? Aren’t the three children acting the same?” Section Chief Li said with a smile: “The three old ones are young and can’t understand.” 2. One day, a group of soldiers came to the police station. On a mission, they came to a big river. There were many recruits in this regiment. The regiment leader looked at the river in front of him and then at the soldiers. He really couldn't think of a suitable word to order the recruits to rush across the river. When he was distressed, he suddenly had an idea. Order: "Everyone disbands, and we will attack on the other side of the river in two minutes!" 3. The minister, who was a mason, was interviewed by reporters.
The reporter asked: "What do you think is the similarity between being a minister and being a mason?" The minister replied: "First, you must have the ability to mix mud; second, you must not feel dizzy when you stand at a high place. " 4. Last year, Lao Liu from Nanpo Village opened a chicken farm. Unexpectedly, village cadres came here every two days to catch chickens or take eggs. As a result, the chicken farm lost a lot of money at the end of the year.
2. There is a kind of humor called accounting
Continue the Q&A.
Question: The boss will reward you well, right? Answer: Twelve rounds of Ce Xun will reward hundreds of thousands of heroes. Question: Haha.
That’s worth it.
How long have you been an accountant? Answer: I dreamed of Yangzhou for ten years and won the reputation of a brothel. Question: It’s not long now. Is accounting work easy? Answer: Once you encounter hardships, only stars will fall in the war.
Question: It turns out it’s all for a belief. It seems like you love this career? Answer: A man goes to the battlefield for his health, and his self-love takes the stage without looking back at home.
Question: That’s great, dedicated and dedicated. It seems that fraud in the accounting industry is very serious now, is that true? Answer: Only in this mountain, the depths of the clouds are unknown.
Question: Don’t make fun of me, but are you actually doing it? Answer: Fortunately, I don’t know the peaches and willows, but I have been tired of plum blossoms for ten years. Q: It seems you still can’t be alone! I heard that you need to take many professional titles and qualification certificates to become an accountant? Answer: The wild flowers are gradually charming the eyes, and only Asakusa has no horse hooves.
Question: I heard that CPA is called the best exam in the world? Is it really difficult to take the exam? Answer: Oh, how dangerous it is! The road to Shu is as difficult as climbing to the sky. Question: There are so many certificates to take and it is so difficult to take. How did you do in the exam? Answer: There are twelve volumes of military books, and each volume has the name of the father.
Question: Sample! Brag! How can such a great person still behave like this? Answer: Those who know me say that I am worried; those who do not know me say that what do I want? .
3. What are the common sense of work that accountants must keep in mind?
Can original vouchers obtained from external units be without official seals? The "Basic Accounting Work Standards" (hereinafter referred to as the "Standards") clearly states: "The original vouchers obtained from external units must be stamped with the official seal of the filling unit."
In the actual operation process, there are also For some special phenomena, due to custom or the user unit deems the original voucher to be difficult to forge, the official seal will not be affixed. For example: air tickets, boat tickets, train tickets and bus tickets generally do not have official seals.
How to use the original voucher split sheet? When the expenses listed in an original voucher need to be borne by two or more units at the same time, the unit that keeps the original voucher shall issue original voucher split orders to other units that should bear the burden. The unit that receives the original voucher split sheet will use the split sheet as an attachment to the accounting voucher.
What kind of accounting vouchers can be used without original vouchers? According to the requirements of the "Specifications", all accounting vouchers must be accompanied by original vouchers, with only two exceptions: 1. Accounting vouchers for settlement. 2. Correct the wrong original voucher.
Can the copied original voucher be used as the basis for accounting vouchers? According to regulations, copied original vouchers shall not be used as the basis for accounting vouchers. If the original voucher is lost, it should be handled according to the specific provisions of the "Standards".
How to control the thickness of binding of accounting vouchers? The "Standards" do not specify the binding thickness of accounting vouchers, but generally 3 cm is appropriate.
4. Looking for books that popularize accounting knowledge, that are more interesting and readable
Recommended work: Iverson Remember: Real Accounts Teach You Accounting , user-friendly, vivid, real-life practical, and truthful exercises. One that looks quite working 2? Hutchison Whampoa’s Dream of Struggle: Exam Preparation Diary? Intermediate Accounting Practice.
Added:
The accounting discipline system is a product of the planned economy. Later, with the economic and institutional changes and transformation of the organization, the modern accounting and management accounting system of the modern enterprise system was established. . In recent years, the international system and internationalized teaching accounting have become internationalized and developed rapidly.
Accounting firms and CPA examination subjects in China, 4
United States: financial accounting and reporting, auditing, business environment and theory, laws and regulations (including tax law);
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6 Plus: Accounting, Financial Management, Tax Law, Economic Law, plus a comprehensive test.
It is reported that after completing the CPA study, it will be easier to explain that the difference between the two exams is not that big, but there are still differences. What develops after completing treatment is unclear.
5. Funny version of the jingle about food safety knowledge
The funny version of the jingle about food safety knowledge is:
1. Food safety has a system, and the incoming inspection is obligation.
2. Set up accounts when purchasing raw materials, and don’t forget to ask for certificates and invoices.
3. Don’t be bothered by registering item by item, it is not difficult to trace the source.
4. You can’t get the three no products, and you have to take preventive measures before they happen.
5. Inspect suppliers when purchasing goods and ask for all licenses and certificates.
Knowledge extension:
Other jingles about food safety:
1. Transportation, storage and processing, improper handling will lead to quick contamination.
2. Raw and cooked meat and vegetables are not separated, and natural bacteria multiply quickly.
3. Boil the food before eating, otherwise it will be damaged if it enters the gastrointestinal tract.
4. Vomiting and diarrhea are really uncomfortable. You must induce vomiting, not too quickly.
6. Top Ten Jokes
Top Ten Jokes [1] Waiting for the bus I went to work this morning to catch the bus. When I arrived at the platform, the bus had already started.
So I chased and shouted: "Master, wait for me, master, wait for me."
"
This was a passenger looking out of the car window. He came out and said to me: "Wukong, stop chasing me, Bajie will humiliate you!" [2] Witness of a traffic accident A Chinese student witnessed a traffic accident in California, USA. leave. When the police came, they asked him if he knew what happened. He said: "one car e, one car go, two car peng peng, one car die."
[3] It is difficult to obey a girl I was sitting on my seat, chewing gum hard in my mouth, but my feet were stretched into the passage beside the desk and the teacher discovered me. "Mary!" the teacher called her sternly.
"Teacher, what's the matter?" the girl replied. "Take the gum out of your mouth and put your feet in it!" [4] Death penalty In the prison, a death row prisoner was restless.
A kind-hearted guard said to him: "Don't be afraid, the electric current is very strong, it only lasts for a blink of an eye, and there is no pain at all." At this time, screams came from the execution ground.
"What's the sound?" the condemned prisoner asked tremblingly. "I don't know either."
The guard said and went to the execution ground to see what happened. "It's nothing. There was a power outage, so I had to use candles."
The guard said calmly. [5] Water Splashing Festival During the Water Splashing Festival, everyone splashed water on each other to bless each other. Suddenly one person cursed: Damn, who splashed me? Others advised: Splashing on you is a blessing to you.
The scold said: Don’t do this, who is pouring boiling water on me? [6] Overtime work It is common for advertising companies to work overtime. Every six o'clock in the afternoon, many colleagues will call home to inform them that they have to work late at night and cannot go home for dinner. I always feel sad when I listen to it, but once, a colleague who is a father called home, which made people feel warm and interesting: "Hey, are you Peter Pan? You and Supergirl "The Invincible Iron King Kong will not go back to Huaguo Mountain to eat peaches today, bye!" [7] Centipede Travel A *** man bought a centipede as a gift and took it home in a box.
Later, he wanted to go for a walk with his new friend, so he knocked on the box and said, "Hey, brother, let's go for a walk?" The box made no sound. After a while, the man knocked on the box again and said, "Would you like to go out for a walk?" The centipede still didn't answer.
He decided to ask one last time, so he put his face against the box and shouted: "Hey, are you interested in going for a walk?" Finally a faint voice came from the box: "This is your first time calling I heard it when I was busy putting on my shoes." [8] The consultation fee is too high. Psychologist: "I have been too impatient and nervous recently. I need to see a psychologist." Friend: "But, Aren't you the best doctor in your field? "Psychiatrist: "I know, but my consultation fee is too expensive."
[9] Outside the delivery room of the hospital, a group of men were waiting to take over. dad. A nurse hurried out of the delivery room and said to one of them: "Congratulations, your wife has given birth!" Another man threw his cigarette butt on the ground, jumped up and shouted: "That's unreasonable! I arrived before him, why?" It’s not my turn yet?” [10] West Point Military Academy My father, brother and I went to West Point Military Academy to watch a football game between the Army and Boston University. Before the start, we walked around and met many cadets in neat uniforms. .
Several tourists asked the recruits if they would be willing to pose for their photos.
"So that our son knows what he can expect if he comes to West Point."
A middle-aged couple walked up to a very beautiful female cadet and asked her if she would like to pose Photograph. They explained: "We wanted our son to know what he was missing out on by not coming to West Point."
7. Accounting entries to express Valentine's Day love
Accounting for Valentine's Day love Entries are made in the form of a T-shaped account. Those who do not understand accounting cannot understand it. If you understand accounting, you will feel not only the deep love expressed, but also the unique humor of accounting. As shown in the picture:
Explanation:
The accounting account subject is: My Life
The debit opening balance is 0, which means there is nothing
The amount of debits, 1314 means: a lifetime,
The amount of credits, 794 means: you will die if you are angry,
Calculation method of the ending balance: ending balance = initial balance + occurrence of debits Amount - Credit amount = 1314-794=520
Ending balance 520: I love you.
8. I need some humorous stories~~~
A: Dear classmates, I miss you so much.
B: Let me introduce it to you first. A: My name is Guo Liangliang.
B: My name is Zhao Pangpang. A: Pangpang, you are a freshman, right? If you need my help in the future, just ask me. I will do my best.
B: Oh, definitely. Boss, are your grades good? A: Ma Ma Hu Hu.
B: Then why are your grades so good? A: Because I have learned from the painful experience of "fried shredded pork on bamboo boards", I have deeply realized that if you fall behind, you will be beaten. B: Hey, the heroes have similar experiences.
A: Can you be more specific? B: Women's singles with a score below 80, men's singles with a score below 70, and mixed doubles with a score below 60. A: How do you say this? B: If the score is below 80, my mother will beat me. If the score is below 70, my dad will beat me. If the score is below 60, both my parents will beat me.
A: Did you grow up in this kind of environment? B: Who cares how miserable I feel, who cares where I will go tomorrow. A: Oh, my poor junior, but it’s okay. Sooner or later, your body will be tempered into an indestructible body, and then you will be immortal.
B: Hey, senior, I’ve heard for a long time that you stand out from the rest in your studies. Please tell me about your study methods. A: Last night, the cicadas couldn't stop chirping in the cold, and I was frightened back to dream of winning the championship. It was already three o'clock in the morning. I got up and rushed cold water to my face. Then I tried my best, holding the headlight from the window, focusing on fame.
The white leaves fall in front of the window, hindering the journey. I want to express my thoughts to Yao Qin, but it is impossible and there is no time at all. B: But I just can’t study well. Even if I stay up late, I won’t be able to study well.
A: You study during the day, study at night, study while eating, and study when using the toilet. Whatever you do, you have to think about studying, studying, and studying again. B: How can that be possible? If you study all night, you have to sleep during the day.
While eating and reading, I put rice into my nostrils twice, into my ears three times, and into other people’s mouths four times. I'm afraid of going to the toilet to read.
A: What are you afraid of? B: I'm afraid of falling in. I can't swim there. A: So what do you do in school? B: I was in school, jumping around, crying and laughing, playing around, hitting the wall and hanging, sleeping during the day and setting off cannons at night, and when I had nothing to do, I would crawl under the bed and bite the mice.
A: If you don’t study hard, you might as well go home and sell sweet potatoes. If you don’t study hard, you might as well go home and farm. Forget it, don't suffer and be tired here, go home.
B: Hey... what are you talking about? What's so great about you? You just study better. I'm going to make your family restless. A: What do you want? B: I’ll call your house.
Hello, is this Guo Liangliang’s mother? I have some unfortunate news for you. The lovely classmate Guo Liangliang was hit by a car yesterday morning, hit by a stone, kicked by a donkey, and... He was bitten by a dog and is now being treated in the hospital. A: Where? B: Urumqi, Heilongjiang.
A: Why are you talking so far away? B: Let her find her slowly in the car, and pay all the fare. A: Okay, if you are cruel, everyone listens. If anyone has such a phone call, they will call him. He is the one who did it.
B: To be honest, I do have difficulty studying. A: What are the difficulties? B: As soon as I read, I feel sleepy, thirsty and hungry, and I want to go to the toilet.
A: This is easy to handle. B: What to do? A: Drink Red Bull when you are thirsty and hungry; drink Red Bull when you are sleepy and tired; drink Red Bull when you have frequent and urgent urination.
Red bull, red bull, is bull even if it is not red. B: But our family only has yellow cattle, not red cattle.
A: Forget it, let me tell you a few stories to stimulate your interest in learning. B: I like to hear stories.
A: Have you ever heard of Che Yin Nang Ying, Sun Kang Ying Xue, or Kuang Heng cutting through walls to steal the light? B: I’ve never heard of it. What’s going on? A: As for Che Yin, he loved reading when he was young, but his family was very poor and had no money to buy lights, so he caught many fireflies, put them in a bag, and read by them at night.
B: Then let’s go catch fireflies too.
A: What do you need fireflies for when you have electric lights and electric sticks? B: Only in this way can I show that I study hard. A: Pull you down, fireflies can shine, can you shine? Fireflies can fly, can you fly? B: What about Sun Kang Yingxue? A: Sun Kang wanted to study at night, but his family was very poor and had no lights, so he read in the snow by the light of the snow.
B: I don’t think it’s snowing today, but it’s so cold outside. Studying abroad is not only regarded as sleepwalking, but also regarded as neurosis.
Let’s listen to that guy who cut through walls and stole things. I’ll learn from him too. A: That was Kuang Heng who cut a hole in the wall of his house to steal light. Kuang Heng’s family was also very poor and had no light to study at night, so he cut a hole in the wall of his house and read by his neighbor’s light.
B: But there is a pigsty next door to my house, and there are holes in the wall. What should I do if the piglets next door peek at me taking a bath? A: I introduce them to you because I want you to learn from their hardworking spirit. This is how geniuses are born. B: Genius makes money every day.
A: Why are you only thinking about money? Well, since you can’t learn from China, just learn from foreign countries. Newton.
B: The elephant-headed cow is very slow to respond. A: Ostrovsky.
B: Are you going home to marry the old hen? A: Dalton, the father of modern chemistry. B: Growing up, I never heard that chemistry has a father. Who is his mother? A: Okay, okay, let’s not talk about study, let’s talk about your life.
B: Ah, my life here is so lovely. I feel like I am living in sweet happiness. A: Hey, tell me in detail.
B: One day I went to the canteen to eat. After eating, I put my rice bowl in the canteen, but when I came the next day, it was gone. A: What should you do? B: So I posted a notice at the door of the cafeteria: Dear classmate, you accidentally took away my job. I deeply regret this because I am suffering from hepatitis A, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, cirrhosis, myocardial infarction plus Meningitis, I hope to put my job back where it belongs.
A: Can I still survive? A: What happened next? B: Early the next morning, I went to the door of the canteen and saw more than 200 rice bowls piled at the door. A: More than 200? What do you do? B: I picked out three of the most beautiful cooking bowls, two were used as urinals, and one was used as a washbasin. The rest were sold to the scrap collector for more than 100 yuan, which was enough for my day's food expenses.
A: That’s great, let’s do it again. B: But I have sold out all the jobs in our entire dormitory building. How about you give it a try?
A: I am not as kind as you. B: Oh, thank you.
A: Fickle and heartless. B: Senior, let’s change the topic.
A: Okay.
9. Composition: My family's "financial management", vivid and humorous sentences, about 500 words
When I was in elementary school, my home was very close to the school, and my mother was at the school gate every day. Take me home.
She gets off work early every day to pick me up, and then goes out to handle the meal during dinner. Every time I cross the road, my mother always grabs my left hand with her right hand and looks at the cars coming and going.
Sometimes there are too many people, and she is afraid of crowding me, so she always waits for a large group of people to pass by before holding my hand and trotting all the way to the other side of the road. It wasn't until she stood on the sidewalk that she let go of my hand and breathed a long sigh of relief, as if relieved.
At that time, the corners of my mouth kept a nice curve every day. One autumn rain and another cold. I was a careless child and always forgot to bring an umbrella when I went out in this rainy season.
Well, that day, despite my mother’s repeated warnings, I still left the house empty-handed. God was not kind to me that day, but it started to rain when school was over. It was not too big or too small, but it rained endlessly.
I lay by the door and looked anxiously, hoping that my mother would come to pick me up soon... Finally, I saw my mother in the rain. She was waiting for me there holding a cute little blue umbrella. Seeing me running over, he quickly covered me under the umbrella. I tilted my head and looked at my mother, at the cute little blue umbrella, but I saw my mother's loving smiling face and the blue sky she held up for me.
On the way home, I jumped under the umbrella, and my mother trotted behind me. Despite this, there was not even a raindrop on my body. I was curious about how big this umbrella was, but I turned to look at my mother. Most of her clothes were already wet, and the rain ran down her arms. When she saw what I wanted to say, she motioned me not to speak and gave me a Calm smile.
I don’t know if this article is acceptable. Can you give me the points? I’m a newbie (⊙o⊙).