Hu wrote a poem, the level is limited, I hope the master can teach him to laugh and admire. People laugh happily and sweetly.

I don't know much about poetry, but I usually write poetry. Just saying yes is not helpful to writing poetry, so I take the liberty to comment, but I still hope to include some inappropriate places. This poem gives me the feeling that it is too simple, and the meaning to be expressed can be seen at a glance. A good poem should be more attractive as you read it, and the taste inside makes people taste. A good poem is very difficult. Few people can write it and make it into a good poem. Most people have to think for themselves and consider every sentence. I don't know if you have a bottleneck, but if you do, you should work harder. In detail, this poem is too rough. I don't know whether you wrote an ancient poem or a modern poem. The rhyme you press is the rhyme of ancient poetry, but the words and expressions are too modern, and there is no rhyme in poetry, mainly the artistic conception and the effect of expression. Good content, followed by phonology. Don't simply pursue rhyme and ignore the taste of the content.