It is always said that boys nowadays are less and less like men, while girls are constantly refreshing their early wisdom, arrogance and willfulness to invade men's fields. While lamenting the little boy's sensitivity at home, I secretly made up my mind to guide him to grow into a responsible, mature and indomitable man.
A boy usually spends only 18 years with his parents. Except for most of the school life, the time is not as much as expected. In addition, now that parents are working, they often rely on the elderly or nannies to help with their children. When it comes to children's growth, it is inseparable from the environment and family. In the book Raising Boys, the growth stages of boys are divided into three stages:
* The tender years from 0 to 6 *
At this stage, the separation anxiety of boys is much greater than that of girls. The direct manifestation of this separation anxiety is the lack of security. In the first year of my son's kindergarten at the age of three, my son's kindergarten was at his grandmother's house because of the influence of my wife and me. We can only visit him every weekend to spend the weekend with her. Although we didn't feel anything at that time, we couldn't think deeply even if we felt that our children's inner desire for us was submerged under the pressure of work. Looking back now, this year was the time when he needed our care and love most, which caused his son to be unable to communicate with children who were slightly stronger than him. He has been avoiding challenges and unable to face up to them.
This year, children are accompanied by old people and a lot of toys. Recognizing the problem, children's future study and life are all around us. Now I'm in grade two, but in the interaction with my classmates, I'm still willing to make friends with children who are gentle and not aggressive. When encountering problems, he is still more willing to choose to avoid conflicts, and it is easy to bow his head and give up in his usual life. What happened in the past cannot be changed. Only in the later days can we cultivate his masculinity in a targeted manner.
* Learn to be a man at the age of 6 ~ 13 *
My son is almost eight years old now. I have never asked his role models and idols, but obviously he can tell the difference between reality and what he wants to be in comics. He will imitate his recent fascination with animated film characters, make all kinds of favorite movie characters and protagonists in the game with clay, and appreciate the adventures of the protagonists in the story. It's just that in reality, he regards me more as a strict father. He cares about my opinion, but I am often unsettled by his small mistakes.
Fortunately, I am willing to play crazy with him, indulge him to consume his energy where he has nowhere to put it, and accompany him to climb the sand and play with water. This summer vacation is just seven days, and he will learn to swim. Even if he is unwell, he can persist and choke. I think he's really improved. There are still five years before 13 years old. With the gradual maturity of the mind, my father will realize this at this stage and set an example for him in reality. Some problems that mom and dad need to pay attention to will be listed later.
* 14~ Adult Men's Parade *
Rebellious adolescence is coming, but unfortunately, boys often subvert their idols at this time. For example, a father will also encounter his own critical problems and challenge his position. At this time, the key role of a mother is to resolve conflicts. This stage often affects a boy's way of facing and solving contradictions in the future.
Let children know that their parents love him unconditionally, but they love him, not an art medal that they love his achievements, obey the rules and are proud of. They won't love him, because he made mistakes and achieved unsatisfactory results, which contradicted the language. Need more communication, more affection, increase the balance in your child's emotional account, so that even in the rebellious period, he will overthrow his father's idol status, which is unreasonable.