When he wanted to change his job, a colleague immediately introduced him to an ideal job. Because colleagues know his ability and conditions and are willing to help him.
Xiao Xie, who likes to travel, often invites a group of people to travel online. Some people know him, while others don't. He can make many good friends every time he travels.
Although he is an only child, he never feels lonely, and his life is full of fun. Whenever he is bored, he will feel very happy with the "donkey friends". We often hear "people in our circle …" and "people in our circle …".
As the saying goes, "Birds of a feather flock together, and people are divided into groups". A circle is a small group in which every member is familiar with each other and has the same hobbies, values or tasks.
An industry, a unit, a club, an interest group and so on can all be regarded as a circle. Xiao Lu and Xiao Xie have their own circles. They can not only find a sense of belonging and fun in the circle, but also benefit from their own circles.
A person can't exist alone in society, everyone has a circle of friends. In a circle, people can find their own sense of belonging, which can give people a sense of security.
Circle is the main place for communication and activities in people's life. Different circles determine different attitudes towards life.
For many young people in their twenties who have just graduated from school and entered the society, it is an important lesson and an important psychological challenge to make new friends and integrate into other people's social circles. From school to society, with the changes of their roles, environment, life tasks and people around them, they are always at a loss at first and don't know how to get along with everyone.
In the face of unfamiliar environment, young people who have just been weaned psychologically often have a "social window period", so they tend to pay more attention to their actions and subconsciously fix themselves in the role of newcomers. When dealing with interpersonal relationships, they tend to be stiff, shy, suspicious and at a loss, and always feel left out. This is also the most depressing thing for them.
"They just chatted happily, but as soon as I walked over, they shut up. Are they talking about me? " "Looking at my colleagues talking and laughing, I also want to blend in, but I just can't get a word in ..." Many young people who have just stepped into society find it difficult to integrate into other people's circles in the face of strange environment. There was a young man who was very upset because he didn't know how to get along with others. He often wants to get along with his colleagues in harmony and intimacy, but in reality he always feels lonely.
He wrote in an email to me: I just graduated from college and now I work in an office. Work every day and deal with unfamiliar people and things. It's easy to work, but it's a bit awkward to communicate with people.
Seeing others talking and laughing, playing cards and chatting in their spare time is very lively, but being alone, I have nothing to say with others, even if I say a few words, I feel boring. In fact, when I was in college, there were some people around me who were eloquent, boastful and told jokes.
I feel inferior among them and don't know much about humor. For example, everyone in my roommate was joking, and when it was my turn, I was stuck there. I don't know how to answer the phone or how to handle things well. It's easy to offend people for no reason. I really envy those people who are "naturally familiar", but why can't they do it themselves? I am very upset and don't know how to get along with others.
This boy has been working for almost two months. He can hardly call anyone from other offices except his colleagues in this department. Even several times, his colleagues mistook him for an intern. On weekdays, everyone's work is not easy. Most of the time, they are buried in their cubicles. When he interrupts occasionally, he ponders whether to participate or not, while considering when and how to interrupt. When he was "brewing", everyone's topic had just ended.
Colleagues chat while working, and he is often ignored as an "invisible man". Everyone needs to communicate with others, otherwise they will feel lonely, lonely, depressed and anxious.
However, people's communication ability is not innate, but cultivated by the acquired environment and consciously. In a new working environment, first of all, you can't shrink back from inferiority, passively wait for others to talk to you and ask your needs to help you, but have an attitude of being willing to take the initiative to "join in the fun" so that you can appreciate others' play; When others are chatting, you can listen to it and then find a chance to join.
Don't be shy, and don't be shy to accept others' care or help. You just work hard. As a result, things may not be done well, and people will think that you are lofty and unsociable. Instead of trying to figure it out for yourself, it is better to take advantage of the new leisure to observe the working environment, such as whether the working atmosphere is open or conservative, whether the communication between colleagues is direct or implicit, and then slowly and naturally integrate into it.
In addition, to join other people's circles, we must find out the same topics as others. Those so-called "literary friends", "book friends" and "song friends" are all combined because of a common hobby.
So learn to observe everyone's common topics and interests. Of course, you have to learn some common sense and skills yourself. Only when you have the same fun as others can you enjoy happiness.
More? It means that you must actively accept invitations from others in order to expand your circle. At the party, you will have the opportunity to meet many new friends. Friends of friends, after one or two meetings and contacts, will soon become your friends.
So your circle will gradually expand. Therefore, when someone invites you to participate in an activity, even if you really don't want to participate, be happy to invite you.
The number of friends, the success or failure of socializing, sometimes depends on your thoughts. Finally, you can find people with similar values to become good friends and gradually form your own social circle.
Let go of the lofty and vulgar, some people are born with it.