Here, the green lawn is surrounded by gray-yellow beaches. The sparkling Hanshui River flows by the sea. The fresh air and elegant environment here are really refreshing. Our arrival made the silent beach boil. Some students turn on the stove and taste their own crafts. Some picked up badminton rackets and fought fiercely on the beach; Some rolled up their trousers and ran into the water, laughing and laughing. The most interesting thing is "building a reservoir" We picked up the soft mud at the bottom of the river, loosely built a shallow "small earth dam", sprinkled some water and built a small reservoir. We were about to cheer, but the river didn't cherish the fruits of our labor. Just like a naughty child, our soil was overturned with a shout. We escaped successfully. We didn't lose heart and decided to rebuild it. This time, we built the soft silt firmly and then added it bit by bit. In this way, a strong and tall "reservoir dam" was built. The riverside doll rushed over hand in hand. This time, they knocked over the reservoir without any effort, so they had to flee despondently. We found a small bamboo pole and put it on. (Quoted from the student's exercise "Unforgettable Going Out") The following is a composition fragment, from which we can realize how to arrange detailed writing and sketching in a paragraph. This passage is an unforgettable outing. Why is it unforgettable for the author? Of course, it's because the students took part in various activities of the outing. But the author only mentioned activities such as "picnic", "playing badminton" and "playing with water", because this is an activity that others also participate in. The composition does not hesitate to spend a lot of pen and ink, describing in detail the most interesting "building a reservoir", how to build a dam, how to fail the first time, how to improve it the second time, and how to succeed in the end.
This morning, it cleared up and the sun came out. I opened the door and looked, wow! What a heavy snow! Mountains, rivers, trees and houses are all covered with a thick layer of snow, and Wan has become a world of powder and jade. The deciduous willows are covered with hairy and shiny silver bars; And those pine trees and cypresses that are evergreen in winter and summer are covered with fluffy and heavy snowballs. A gust of wind blew, the branches shook gently, beautiful silver bars and snowballs rustled down, and jade-like snowflakes fluttered with the wind, reflecting the morning sunshine and showing colorful rainbows. This is a description of the beautiful scenery after the snow, which is in front. Details such as "silver stripes", "snowballs" and "snowflakes" on the trees behind. Look, they are "furry and shiny", "fluffy and heavy" and "like jade pieces". How beautiful! This is not only a concrete description of "powder makeup and jade rubbing", but also expresses the author's sincere love for the beautiful scenery after snow.
When summer came, I made some friends. We often go to the goose hatchery to play. We chased barefoot on the hot stone. Sometimes we will drill into the dense Woods on the shore to climb trees, pick wild fruits and dig nests. Sometimes we pick up a flat stone and throw it into the water. The stone will jump forward against the water. We especially like to dig traps on the beach. Everyone knelt on the stone, pursed their asses and pulled out one by hand. The pit is full of stagnant water. Pick up some dry branches and put them on it, spread leaves, and then carefully sprinkle dry sand and pebbles. After I finished, I looked at my masterpiece proudly, and then I got into the Woods, climbed up the tree and hid, just waiting for people to come to into the pit. This interesting childhood story is also described in detail (quoted from the student's exercise "Interesting Childhood"). As can be seen from the previous Sometimes, because the author did not describe in detail "stepping on stones, climbing trees, picking wild fruits, digging bird's nests and throwing stones", the following "digging traps" was written in detail, and the author wrote in detail how to dig holes, how to erect branches and disperse leaves, and how to pretend to be proud of masterpieces. It is this kind of childhood prank that fully shows childlike interest.
Ex. 4: Not far away, the water in the pool is as green as a flawless emerald. In the middle of the lake, there is a pink stone lotus. A realistic white crane stands on the lotus. It stood on its right foot, raised its left foot, flapped its wings, held its head high, and rustled out a willow-like crystal clear spray from its mouth. Pearl-like waves look colorful in the sun, and a gust of wind blows from time to time. Blow it like smoke, fog and dust. The reflection of the crane rippled in the water with the microwave, as if moving in the water. (Quoted from the extracurricular reading "A Corner of the Park") From the analysis of the above three examples, it can be seen that narratives are divided into detailed descriptions and sketches, and detailed descriptions and sketches should also be distinguished when writing landscapes. In this passage of Example 4, the author focuses on "a white and realistic crane made of water mud". The standing posture, flapping wings and the spray from the mouth of the crane are described respectively, but the posture of the crane is obviously sketched, and the spray from the mouth of the crane is the detailed content. In order to describe the spray in detail, the author uses a series of metaphors: "spray crystal like wicker", "spray like pearl" and "smoke, fog and dust". What a vivid description!
The endless sea is blue, and seagulls are dotted with sailboats. Wave after wave, hitting the rocks on the shore, making a "splash" sound and splashing white foam, as if waving and smiling at me. There are many mosses on the rocks on the shore, green lavender grows next to the rocks, and small crabs the size of a penny crawl in the cracks in the rocks. Not far away, there are many crabs. People are constantly on the upstream of the bridge, some are looking at the vast sea, and some are looking at the pavilion of the trestle. Opposite the trestle is Little Qingdao, which is lush and green. It is said that "Qingdao" was named after it. (Quoted from the student's work "Travel Notes in Qingdao") This passage, the author's observation order is from far and near, from near and far, from the endless sea to the reef on the shore, from the trestle to the opposite little Qingdao. Writing details seems to be no different from sketching. In fact, if you read it carefully, you will find that the words "wave" and "rock" are much more detailed. When you write about waves, you write about waves and bubbles. When you write about rocks, you also write about mosses, lavers, crabs and so on. , which specifically describes what you saw during your visit. Example 6: In the afternoon, several of our children took it with them. The classroom was quiet, only the pens full of friendship rustled on the white drawing paper. As soon as I saw it, some students around me painted plum blossoms and some painted cherry blossoms. After thinking about it, I drew a flower of friendship between Chinese and Japanese children: on the sky blue background, Chinese and Japanese children embraced warmly, and there was a plum tree with red flowers behind it. This plum tree symbolizes the profound friendship between Chinese and Japanese children. "Some painted cherry blossoms" is the national flower of Japan; However, the author did not specifically describe the content of the picture, but specifically described the "flower of friendship between Chinese and Japanese children" painted by "I", because the content of the author's picture can fully show the profound friendship between Chinese and Japanese children. Through the reading and analysis of the above six examples, we know more clearly that it is always necessary to write a detailed and skimmed article, and each paragraph may be detailed or detailed.
After reading the example 1, we will find that this passage has both details and outlines. We use the method of sketching to draw students' activities, such as "picnicking", "playing badminton" and "playing with water", which is just a formality. The author describes in detail the "building a reservoir" that they are most interested in, from how to build a dam, how to fail the first time and how to do it the second time. It fully shows the children's liveliness and joy. To learn how to write details and sketches, you must sort out the details and sketches in the article before you start writing. Maybe there are both general descriptions and detailed descriptions in a paragraph.
Let's first analyze the main manifestations of improper details:
First, the average use of pen and ink. Articles are like a running account, you can't see the details. Especially when writing articles such as interviews and travel notes, it is most likely to make such mistakes. You wrote everything, didn't write carefully, and didn't catch the most attractive model.
Second, the main plot is unknown and the secondary plot is not omitted. When describing a thing, the main plot that highlights the central idea is general, without breadth and depth; However, a lot of subplots were written. Sometimes, they are "top-heavy", and the first half of the article is written in detail, but the second half or the end is hastily ended. For example, a classmate wrote "My father loves me". He only wrote that my father cares about my health and study, but he finished it in a few words, but he wrote two things: how my father likes watching football matches and how he likes playing mahjong, which are particularly vivid and detailed.
Third, the main characters are unknown, and the minor characters are not omitted. When writing an article, the actions, language and demeanor of the main characters are written too little and too rough, while the minor characters are vivid and colorful, which consumes a lot of pen and ink. For example, the author used the main pen and ink to write about my mother, almost putting my mother aside and completely usurping the role of master. Fourth, the main aspects are unknown, and the secondary aspects are not omitted. Instead, a lot of things have been added to the secondary aspects, thus diluting the main aspects. We have analyzed the phenomenon of improper details, so what are the reasons for improper details?
First, do not plan an outline before writing a composition. My first consideration is not what to write and how to write it, but where to write it. Some students saw that the length of the composition, that is, the number of words, was written and written, and found that the number of words was not enough. Later, they will fill in the words sentence by sentence; Others, after writing, found that the number of words was almost the same, and suddenly closed their pens, resulting in anticlimactic results.
Second, if you can't tell which is the key point and which is the wrong point, just scratch your eyebrows and beard. When writing a composition, such students always start with the appearance of the characters and revise the contents without looking back, such as "He is neither short nor short, neither fat nor thin, his eyebrows are neither thick nor light, nor his eyes are too big ..." Such nonsense language. Of course, let alone how to distinguish these details.
Third, I don't understand the relationship between materials and central ideas. What materials can highlight the central idea, which materials are far from the center and which materials have nothing to do with the center? These questions have not been seriously thought about, or I thought about it but started writing without understanding it. How can an article written in this way be arranged in detail? Fourth, they usually don't observe carefully, feel deeply and have a narrow knowledge. This is the most common phenomenon. Many students are usually not good at observing and do not like reading books for reference. They don't pay attention to details when writing their compositions. Even if they are scratching their heads, they can only write a few strokes here and there, and there is no point.
Although he knew the key points before writing, he just couldn't write the detailed key points. This is a typical "clever woman can't cook without rice". As a scholar once said to his wife, it is more difficult to write articles by yourself than to have children, because there is no goods in your stomach! For students who can't describe it in detail, of course, the problem of "cooking without rice" should be solved. One is to pay attention to observation at ordinary times, and form a good habit of writing an observation diary often, forming a good habit of accumulating over time. We usually need to prepare enough writing materials to form our own writing resource library, just like those cows, we can only squeeze out a lot of milk when we are full. The other is to develop good reading habits, as the ancients said. If you write like a god, you will read more books. You can not only accumulate language indirectly, but also learn to write from other people's articles. After a long time, you won't "touch the white paper and look at the sky" when you write a composition.
So, what should we do in the face of inappropriate details? To put it simply, we should pay attention to the following methods in order to make our composition more detailed and decent: First, make clear what is the central idea of the article. When writing a composition, you must be clear about the purpose of writing this composition, what is the quality of a person's writing, or what to express when writing something, what to introduce, or what to describe a landscape ... These questions must be familiar before writing. Second, check what the materials you choose have to do with the central idea, which are close, which are not close and which are irrelevant. Tight material is the content to be written in detail in the article, and it is not tight to skim it. Don't write irrelevant materials in the article. Third, delete those materials that have nothing to do with the center without regret; Through memory and imagination, the materials closely related to the central idea are developed into detailed, concrete and vivid paragraphs; Write out the paving materials, set off and connect the details by sketching, and make the article seamless.