In the process of communicating with others, we often use the word "I". I am so-and-so, where do I come from, what do I do now, what kind of personality am I, am someone’s friend, colleague or family member.
Especially when applying for a job or introducing ourselves to new friends, we often use various specific concepts to define ourselves.
But when we are alone, we should calm down and face ourselves. Think about these external images, careers, and family roles attached to us. Are they really all "I"?
I remember that an episode of the mainland chat reality show "Round Table Party" discussed the issue of living alone. The host Dou Wentao asked everyone, when do you feel lonely? Then one of the guests, Mr. Liang Wendao, shared that the first time he experienced loneliness as a child was in a sea of ??people. One time he was riding his bike home from school, passing classmates, strangers and many cars. Suddenly, it seemed as if his consciousness left his body and he saw himself on the back of his head. He said: "I saw myself, and that moment was the first time I realized loneliness."
But because in urban life, we always deal with many people. There are always family and friends around, so there is less time to be alone. Even when you are alone, you rarely get out of your own body and see yourself from another angle. Many people even don’t understand themselves at all.
I remember when my ex and I separated, he said this to me: "You are an independent and strong girl who can live without relying on others. But I am different from you. I am more dependent on my family and my other half, and I want to establish a closer family relationship. It is not suitable for the two of us to be together." At that time, I burst into tears and couldn't understand why he abandoned me. But after some time, I calmed down and adjusted my emotions, and found that he was right. I really need more time alone and don't want my partner to be too clingy.
We may think we know who we are, but in fact, we may not really “understand ourselves.” Sometimes, others know us better than we do. And ending a relationship can help us understand ourselves better.
It can be said that "I am not very clear" about what "I" like and what I don't like.
This sounds a bit abstract, but let’s be more specific, such as food, clothing, housing, transportation, and cognition. The food that suits our tastes is actually not the same. We need to try different flavors to find the one we like best. The same goes for clothing taste. Some people buy a lot of clothes, but those are the ones they wear most. That's style preference. There is also work, and you can find your own interests and ideal position by changing jobs/positions.
So, sometimes you may not quite understand your preferences. And what you know about yourself is not actually who you really are. Each of our lives, from birth to death, is a journey of finding ourselves.
Writer Wu Qi's poem "Silent Confession" contains this sentence: "We spend our entire lives trying to get rid of the expectations of others and find our true selves."
The true self , he must be based on the premise that individuals have their own independent personality and ideas. As I grow from relationship to relationship and experience after relationship, my heart gradually becomes fuller. It becomes easier to perceive happiness and experience the joy of finding yourself.
To find oneself is not that easy. It requires thinking at the right time and slowly breaking away from the illusion of life bit by bit. Then awaken the true self deep in your heart, and then start a new wonderful and real life.
But there are too many factors that make people lose themselves, such as the voices around them, the guidance of mainstream social values, etc. In addition, habits and comfort zones will also limit us from breaking our original perceptions. And some qualities of "me" are not static. Therefore, there are too many difficulties to overcome on the way to find yourself.
But there are always more solutions than difficulties. The roads we have traveled throughout our lives, the people we have loved, the tears we have shed, the books we have read, and the things we have done will all be nutrients that irrigate our souls.
In this impetuous world, at least one of body and mind is on the road. Read and travel, be brave and try to love. Only in this way can we find our true self and continue to advance and improve.
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