Sunflowers, when the seeds are not full, hold their noble heads high and sway with the sun, for fear that others will not see them. Once the grain is full, it will lower its heavy head because it is mature and full.
Life is like a play, with a leading role and a supporting role. People like the leading role, but we should learn to be a supporting role. Learning to be a supporting role will make us modest and prudent; Learning to be a supporting role will make us generous; Learning to be a supporting role can enable us to actively learn from the strengths of others; Learning to be a supporting role helps us win the trust and support of others.
In our daily work and life, we all have only two roles to play, and we can only choose one of the leading role and the supporting role.
Each of us wants to be the leading role.
Dealing with strangers is the same, because being the protagonist can control the initiative of conversation and let the other party follow our ideas. However, neither side of the conversation can be the protagonist. At this time, we should think about how to be the best supporting role.
Jing Li went to a seminar on developing new products. At the meeting, a young man's speech caught his attention. Jing Li has his own ideas about his topic.
After the meeting, Jing Li found the young man, and first congratulated him and praised him for his creative speech. Young people are very happy, bother to thank Jing Li. At this point, Jing Li changed the subject and said, "I don't quite understand one thing in your speech. I think so ... "
At this time, the young man said, "Do you want to ask why a part of the product should be made of ceramics instead of metal?"
"Yes, I have seen components of similar products before, which are made of metal. We have also studied that metal components have many advantages ..."
The young man smiled and said, "You are right. The old one is made of metal. However, I used a special kind of ceramics. After many tests, the effect was satisfactory. "
When talking about the ceramic parts he used, the young man's face was full of pride.
Hearing this, Jing Li swallowed all his original words and asked, "So, what's so special about your ceramics?"
The young man spoke at once, and then invited Jing Li to visit his laboratory. He had to do experiments to prove it to Jing Li.
Jing Li talked with young people, trying to express his thoughts. In other words, he intends to be the protagonist of this conversation. But when he saw the young man's excited expression, he swallowed what he wanted to say, turned to ask each other and took the initiative to talk to each other. As a result, young people have a high interest in conversation. Finally, he took Jing Li as a friend and invited Jing Li to visit his laboratory. Jing Li succeeded in becoming the best supporting actor.
In fact, each role is not only a right, but also a responsibility. If you are not fit to be the leading role and can't bear the heavy responsibility, you might as well be a supporting role and make your due contribution to the success of everyone's career. No problem. Much better than being beaten.
When we associate with strangers, only by learning to respect each other can our communication activities go smoothly; If we always suppress each other and force them to obey themselves, they will soon get tired of us and lose trust in us. Therefore, in communication, we should try our best to make the other party feel that the protagonist of communication is him, not us.
A person who always wears ears is far more pleasing than a person who only has a mouth.
When communicating with others, if you only talk about yourself, you don't care whether the other person is interested in listening. This is a very impolite thing and offensive.
To be a good listener, you should learn to let yourself speak and let others speak with respect. Learn to let others talk, and the effect is much better than what you say.
Listening is not just listening, but listening sincerely and expressing your approval or praise from time to time. Smile when you listen, and you'd better not do anything else. You should use expressions and gestures such as nodding your head to express your approval at an appropriate time, so as not to give people a perfunctory impression.
When you meet the other party's complaints, you should be able to bear the grievances and learn to listen. Listening can ease the hostility of others. When we talk to ourselves, sometimes we don't want to provide any suggestions and opinions, reasonable explanations or compensation, but just want to vent our dissatisfaction. At this time, listening is far more useful than giving advice. If you really need to explain, you should avoid confrontation and do it after the other person's anger has eased. The other party can feel our sincerity when they see that we are listening carefully.
When talking with people, try to pay attention to their reactions and try to make them feel comfortable. When interacting with people, we need to prepare a "script" for the other party to play the leading role, because it is difficult for us to know where the communication will be frustrated, so we must write the predictable dialogue of the other party into the "script" and then play the best supporting role according to the "script". Therefore, in order to become the best supporting actor successfully, it is very important to investigate and collect relevant information.
For example, can you know each other's hobbies in advance? What do you like best? What do you hate most? What are the characteristics of the speech? What are your personal habits? What are the weaknesses?
Based on this information, we plan to write a "script" that can make the other side become the protagonist and impress the other side.
If we can do this, the other party will feel that the communication with us is particularly smooth, so they will have a good impression on us. In the process of communication, if you meet someone, you were originally prepared to adopt a "medium level" communication method, but in practice, it was found that this method could not be carried out and you need to modify the "script".
However, it is best to presuppose all kinds of problems that may occur in the communication process and imagine what adjustments you should make to these problems.
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