As the saying goes, "Father's love is like a mountain, and mother's love is like water." If maternal love is a temperature that can make people's hearts warm, then father's love is a height that makes people look up to the mountains. Father's love is a mountain, tall and majestic; father's love is a spring, with still water running deep; father's love is a pair of big hands, leading us through spring, summer, autumn and winter. Father's love is a hand held high above the head, giving everything, without words. Giving and deep affection.
1. The way of father's love
There are different ways of father's love. Patriarchal father's love is to give favors with the palm downwards, to establish authority with strictness, and "what comes out from under the stick" "Filial son" is regarded as the norm by most parents, who firmly believe that educating children should not be spoiled. "Small trees must be chopped down, and children must be beaten." "Iron cannot be beaten into steel, and jade cannot be polished into tools." Friendly fatherly love means equal personality, teaching students in accordance with their aptitude, and persuading others with virtue. Modern society increasingly advocates the establishment of an equal, open, democratic, and harmonious father-son relationship. Which one is better or worse cannot be judged by generalizations. It is necessary to guide education according to the different natures of children, and to treat them differently according to the situation. Just like the cultivation of small saplings, they need to be cut and pruned, but also nourished by sunshine and rain. Sometimes we also have to weed and kill insects.
Growing up, what my fathers often say is "you have to be good" and "what kind of person do I want you to be". Sometimes they are even the successors to their unfulfilled dreams and unfinished careers. , heir. Children are placed in high expectations and placed in a framework, and cannot grow in accordance with their natural instincts. Where there is oppression, there is resistance. This sentence is especially applicable to the relationship between father and son. It can be explained by the psychological "Oedipus complex", that is, the patricide Oedipus complex. A son may do many things just to get his father's favor. If you are sure to praise or attract attention, you will feel resentful if you don't get feedback. The history of growth is sometimes a spiral of escape, confrontation and submission between father and son. Father's love is like a mountain. It is necessary not only to avoid the oppression of the mountain, but also to set a good benchmark and make the mountain as high as the peak.
So in "Riding the Wind and Waves", Xu Tailang travels back in time due to a car accident, and becomes you again for a day, passing through the world of his father Xu Chengzheng step by step, living out your youthful passion, and flaunting your youth. Only when you are frivolous can you understand your uncompromising and unyielding nature, and your noble and difficult spirit of being able to abide by friendship and remain true to your original intention despite the vicissitudes of the world. In "Old Pao'er", his son Xiaobo couldn't bear to see his father being abandoned by the times and carrying a cage around the bird all day long, so he ran away from home, acting like he would never see him again in this life. And the old Mr. Pao Liu, who is getting older, has to maintain his dignity. He wants to bring back his son, but he also wants to lose face and refuses to bow his head. In order to gain mutual recognition, they get into trouble. In the end, they are unanimous in dealing with the outside world. **Adversity brings true communication.
A friend once mentioned his memory of his father after drinking. Old K received his father’s military education since he was a child. In one sentence, it can be described as "the king, the king, the minister, the father, the son, the son." I can only look up to my father's majesty, and the relationship between father and son can never be close. It wasn't until I was 30 years old that I hugged a big fat boy, and I realized the kindness of my parents as an adopted child. I understood to some extent my father's original intentions for his strict upbringing, but the shadow of his childhood still cast under the majesty of the old man who was over 1.8 meters tall. Can't go away.
Until last year, when his father had a heart attack and was hospitalized, Lao K took leave to return to his hometown to take care of him. The father and son had more opportunities to get along with each other. Old K said that when he came back from lunch that day, he looked at his gray-haired father on the bed through the ward window. He was blushing and explaining and apologizing to the nurse, "Nurse, please don't tell my son that I peed..." I...stained the sheets." His father's words stopped him from pushing the door in. He saw that his father, who was weak due to surgery and had incontinence and soiled the hospital bed, was helpless and embarrassed like a child who had done something wrong. , but even so, he didn't want to show his old age and helplessness or show his fragile side in front of his son. Lao K suppressed the mixed feelings in his heart at the moment and rationally chose to avoid it, so as to "save face" for his father as he wished. Standing in the long corridor of the hospital, tears were flowing freely, and I felt that the five-finger mountain that had suppressed my thoughts and ideas for many years suddenly collapsed, bringing endless loss, regret and loss. Old K said that he had always kept this matter deep in his heart and never mentioned it to anyone. He didn't know if it was a case of protecting someone's shortcomings. He didn't want to admit that his father, who he regarded as a god-like existence like Master Yoda, would one day grow old and finally reveal his fragile self. one side. And from this angle of looking straight down or even looking down, he saw a real and emotional father who stepped down from the altar.
After his father recovered from illness, Lao K and his wife cooked a meal at their small home and invited their parents to have a family gathering. It was not appropriate for the father to drink alcohol after his illness, but he added a small cup for joy and good luck. A rare glass of wine was poured for old K. During the dinner, father and son Hu Tian chatted endlessly about work and daily life. Although he did not say anything directly, from his father's approving eyes, he understood in his heart. He once said, "You are my father." I have spent half my life trying to get over the hill without getting it. Now I have achieved my goal of giving back. I have truly reconciled with my father and candidly unraveled my heart. Fortunately, I didn’t realize that there was nothing after crossing the hill. When people wait, they end up with a lifelong regret that the tree wants to be quiet but the wind does not stop, and the child wants to be raised but cannot wait for her.
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