"Feng Tang Yi Lao, Li Guang is difficult to seal"
Humanity and sophistication contain a profound philosophy of life. People are social animals, and everyone living in this world needs to understand some humanity and sophistication. Many talented people have lost their lives because of poor handling of interpersonal relationships, which is regrettable.
1. Face
Speaking of worldliness, there is a lot of knowledge in it, and it is a relationship science that fully embodies the wisdom of the Chinese people.
Face is the wisdom of worldliness, which can bring self-esteem and self-confidence to others. In fact, many people know this.
What is face? It is your behavior that makes others feel respected or honored. Even if things don't go well, you can still help others.
Chinese society is a society of relationships, and the ties that maintain this relationship include family ties, blood ties, friendships, and affection. This kind of relationship is crisscrossed horizontally and vertically. Viewed from a plane, it looks like water waves, extending from the inside to the outside in concentric circles. The closer to the center of the circle, the closer the relationship is to the person.
This kind of ranking of closeness is affected by innate factors, such as kinship, hometown connection, and acquired factors, such as contacts, hobbies, experiences, etc. Among the many factors that affect relationships, one factor has a special effect as a catalyst in a chemical reaction, and that is communication. If you don't come to your door for three years, it's not a kiss or a kiss.
When adhering to your own principles, you can give others a chance to maneuver; when you defend your position, you do not hurt the dignity of others; when you reject others' unreasonable demands, you can be tactful without hurting others' feelings.
Dealing with people and the world is much more important than doing work. Almost everyone can do the work, but the boss only reuses people he trusts. Handled well, it can make your career successful. Although it is not the goal of your action, it can make you do things with ease.
2. Benefits
"Every bustling world is for benefit, and the bustling world is for benefit." Interests are the core issue in dealing with social relations. Social relations formed on the basis of common interests are relatively reliable. However, as times change, interest relations are always changing. So you always see various social phenomena in society that cause love, hatred, and hatred. People are emotional animals, and people who have never met each other can often come together if they have similar interests. Interests are related to favors, and favors are interests.
People are the sum of all social relationships. Therefore, social interaction is very important for people. Therefore, communication is the most important factor in social relationships. Communication is more of an exchange of interests.
When it comes to communication, it naturally involves the issue of human relations and sophistication. Understand your needs and be good at observing words and expressions. You must not only be good at understanding human nature, but also have an insight into people's hearts. People have thousands of needs, but the basic needs are just the same. Human nature also includes greed, selfishness, laziness, fame-seeking, profit-seeking, etc. In terms of avoiding harm, you understand the needs of your partner and try your best to help them achieve it, and restrain your own humanity and desires. When most people are willing to help you succeed, you will be more likely to succeed in your career; think more about what you are doing. What benefits do others bring? These benefits are nothing more than money, power, fame, and love. If you can help others succeed, who wouldn’t like to cooperate with you?
3. Be careful in your words and actions
The key to understanding the world lies in the expression of your knowledge, that is, the way you behave.
1. Language
Language is the window to the soul. For people with deep social backgrounds, language alone cannot penetrate into their hearts. Jiang Taigong said: "The source is deep and the water flows, and the water flows and the fish are born, which is emotion; the roots are deep and the root is long, and the tree is long and solid, which is emotion. The gentleman has sympathy and affinity, and affinity and things are born, which is emotion. Speech. The one who responds is the ornament of love; the one who speaks true love is the ultimate in deeds."
"One word of kindness will warm you in the winter, but bad words will hurt you in six months." We must learn to use "love words" to achieve good deeds. Fate, many times, a word of sympathy and understanding can give people great comfort, add courage, and make people feel warm. And an untimely word is like a sharp sword, stabbing people's fragile hearts. Even in the summer of June, they still feel the severe cold. No matter how high your status is or how powerful your influence is, you should also pay attention to the way you speak and be careful of the trouble coming from your mouth. When you associate with people with high emotional intelligence, you can often feel the warmth of spring. And young boys who are new to the world often act willfully.
Therefore, don’t say words that hurt your feelings, and don’t say big words or harsh words just to speak quickly. Only by respecting others will you win the respect of others.
If you know how people are, can understand other people's positions, talk rationally with others, and understand each other's intentions, concerns and moods, you can explain things more clearly, and each other's feelings can be easily accepted. It is also easy for the two to have intersections in negotiation, exchange of opinions and coordination.
This ability is of great positive value in dealing with people. For people with poor language skills, the risk of conflicts and misunderstandings with others will be greatly increased.
2. Action
Smart people often don’t listen to what you say, but watch what you do. Words often don't mean what you say, but actions reveal your true intentions. For ordinary people, if they are not outstanding in ability or wisdom, try not to be unconventional or self-righteous, but to be gregarious.
"Therefore, if the trees are beautiful in the forest, the wind will destroy them; if they are piled up on the bank, the current will be turbulent; if you walk higher than others, the crowd will be wrong. Learn from the past, overturn the car and follow the track." If the wall falls and everyone pushes it, don't violate it. When people are angry, don’t do things that people hate, and don’t become a target. "A lot of words make gold, but accumulation of words makes a lot of money."
When visiting a country, do as the Romans do. People and customs vary from place to place. The etiquette must be reciprocated, the etiquette is reasonable, the etiquette is beneficial, and the etiquette is sentimental. The wisdom of being worldly is an indispensable wisdom for people, and it is also a kind of ability, but this ability needs to be developed into a habit in life.
3. Know how to advance and retreat
As long as it is not a key core interest issue, you can advance or retreat freely. "Take a step back and the sky will be brighter, let yourself be at peace." Don't worry about everything, be open-minded and generous, be open-minded and indifferent, and be content with what you have. Harmony brings wealth, harmony can avoid unnecessary misfortunes, and be wise and wise to protect yourself. I can't bear it any more, no need to bear it anymore. In the face of suppression by hostile forces, we must have the courage to fight. If we seek unity through struggle, we will survive, and if we seek unity through concessions, we will perish.
4. Friends
A fence has three stakes, a hero has three gangs, and a single tree cannot make a forest. Those who understand the world have friends, and it is easier to succeed if they have help in everything. When everyone adds firewood, the flame will be high, and when everyone rows the oars, a big ship will be sailed. Don't be harsh on others. If the water is clear, there will be no fish, and if the people are careful, there will be no friends. No one can make mistakes without being a sage. Be open-minded and be able to tolerate the shortcomings and mistakes of others. Many friends are many roads, many enemies are many walls.
"The fluffy hemp grows upright without support. The white sand is in nirvana, and it is black with it." Those who are close to vermilion are red and those who are close to ink are black, success will be Xiaohe and failure will be Xiaohe. Only those who understand the world can benefit from friends.
2. When it comes to gift money, you will get back how much money others have given you. As prices increase in a few years, you can only give more red envelopes than before. Otherwise, this matter will always be remembered by others, and it may become an excuse for not communicating with each other in the future.
3. Don’t have frequent contact with in-laws. Long-term contact is not a good thing. It will only lead to more and more conflicts and more and more things that you can’t understand. Keeping distance is a wise way to get along.
4. When someone else is toasting, the cup should be placed lower than the other person. When someone else is pouring tea, you should knock it next to the tea cup.
5. Most relatives have no real feelings and have to interact with each other just because of their relationship. Some are even more terrifying than strangers.
6. How can a person not bow his head when he is under a roof? Being under the roof means that you live in the home of everyone except your parents. It's okay for two or three days, but if it takes more than a week, everyone will start to get bored. If you bother others by relying on others, you will definitely suffer the injustice you deserve.
7. When traveling to other places or on business trips, try not to look for old classmates and old friends. Their first feeling is that they are very annoyed. How can they come to me and ask for dinner and play time with me? , the adult world will really be more realistic.
8. It is normal for you to dislike me and for me to dislike you.
First, the husband cannot joke with his daughter-in-law.
Secondly, elderly people should not squeeze into buses during rush hours.
Third, employees should not hug their arms and pinch their waists in front of their bosses.
Fourth, you cannot use chopsticks to turn dishes when eating.
Fifth, you must do what you promise others.
Sixth, you must stay in a hotel when visiting a friend’s city, and your friends cannot entertain you more than three times.
Seventh, don’t enter the girl’s room when you go to a relative or friend’s house.
Eighth, you cannot sit down when you go to the office of your colleague’s leader, and leave as soon as you have something to say.
Ninth, do not borrow money or cars from relatives and friends.
Tenth, take good care of your little bear in public places.
Eleventh, when there is a dinner party with elders or leaders, you cannot sit down first.
Twelfth, no matter what the occasion, no matter whether the boss is right or not, do not talk back to the boss.
Thirteenth, during a dinner party, if the person with higher status or seniority does not use his chopsticks, others cannot use their chopsticks.
Fourteenth, when your leader or boss gives you wine, hold the glass with both hands.
Fifteenth, do not dance in the square with the opposite sex outside of marriage.
Sixteenth, don’t get close to people who have prejudices against you.
Seventeenth, don’t trust anyone.
Eighteenth, remember that there are only eternal interests but no eternal friendship.
Nineteenth, it is better to rely on yourself than to rely on anyone else.
Twenty, your tone must be weaker than your strength.
Twenty-one, do not drink with colleagues with high blood pressure.
Twenty-two, do not carpool with colleagues of the opposite sex for many years.
Twenty-three, don’t post on Moments in the dead of night.
Twenty-fourth, people who are usually free should not crowd tourist attractions during holidays.
Twenty-fifth, do not send information unrelated to work in the work group.
Twenty-sixth, don’t leave rice grains in your eating bowl.
Twenty-seven, at gatherings, do not ask old friends who have not seen each other for many years about marriage and childbirth.