Life is alive, the weather is unpredictable! It is a great tragedy that this uncle has come to this step. The sadness of losing children and wives in middle age was all borne by him. Uncle's son and wife died one after another. Who can he rely on when he is old? Next, I will share the process of this grandfather's pension.
At this time, the uncle is already haggard and desperate. A few hard-earned money accumulated at ordinary times, in order to bury the sons and wives one by one, there is not much left. In grief, my uncle came up with a plan: finish the work in the field during the busy farming season and find some odd jobs in the town in his spare time.
When my uncle was sixty years old, the staff of the township government went through the formalities for my uncle to stay in a nursing home. However, my uncle didn't want to go, and the staff failed to mobilize many times, so they gave my uncle a minimum living allowance and a single elderly subsidy. During this period, my uncle's time was spent thinking about children, his wife, doing farm work, looking for a job and enjoying the minimum living allowance.
When he was seventy years old, he accumulated a little money through hard work. However, he doesn't want to go to a nursing home either. Not only did he not go to a nursing home, but he also sold all his property. Near the graves of his son and wife, he hired someone to build a simple house with money. At this point, except for labor tools, all the rest are sold out.
At that time, the neighbors in the village did not understand, and some said that the old man had autism and wanted to be with his son and wife; Some people say that the old man's brain may not work well, so he will make such an inexplicable move ... No matter how people in the village speculate, the old man's move has become a fact, and there is a simple house between his son and his wife's grave.
At present, the old people don't go out to find odd jobs except working in the nearby garden. When you have time, secretly dig your own grave and find someone to buy a coffin and put it in a simple room; And called several good neighbors in the village to make a final explanation. When the old man confessed, his original words were: "That's all my money. I insist on getting up and swimming every day; " If one day you can't see me, please come and put me in the coffin and bury me in the hole I dug earlier. You share the rest of the money equally. "
The old man arranged his own affairs for several good neighbors. After a few years, the old man really went to find relatives; As a result, he did what he told these good neighbors before he died.
From this point of view, all people are born the same, all are dead, and the ultimate attribution is to return to nature; It's just a different process. The reason is that you can see from this uncle that you have to rely on yourself when you are old. Of course, everyone has their own way of living, as long as they don't expect too much and don't rely on others deliberately, they can live happily.
Therefore, whether relying on children to support the elderly, being single or going to a nursing home for the elderly, only a wonderful life is the most pleasant!
Thank you for your recommendation to answer questions!
After reading the questions raised here, I also seriously thought and tortured them in combination with my own understanding and observation of the relevant social situation.
The problem is that when people are old, there is no one to rely on and they have the economic conditions to enter the nursing home. This is the general trend.
This friend thinks that the topic raised by this question is biased. My humble opinion is as follows:
1, "When you are old, no one can rely on ...".
Who should we rely on in this rhetorical question?
A: Dependent on their own children (including daughter-in-law, son-in-law, grandchildren, grandchildren and other close relatives), hereinafter referred to as children. No children), this is the main dependent object, most families are like this, and there are still very few unreliable children.
You can observe the community and village where you live, or the courtyard, buildings and units of every family. Whose house do the old people live in? Some of them are not dependent on their own children.
If you don't depend on your children, who do you depend on?
If we say that no one can be trusted except our own children, or why we can rely on them (of course, there are exceptions), maybe this is the truth that should be the truth.
2. "... it is the general trend to enter the nursing home with economic conditions."
Here is a rhetorical question. What if there are no economic conditions?
Further, even if the elderly need to go to the nursing home, who arranged for them to go to the nursing home? Aren't they children? Who could it be? Who has this qualification arrangement?
A: If all circumstances permit, it is also permissible to enter a nursing home if you have the financial conditions, but it is not impossible. However, if you go through the relevant formalities, you have to rely on your own children (including daughter-in-law, son-in-law, grandchildren and other close relatives. Childlessness is another matter). If this happens, the living and mentally normal children are also the main objects to rely on, and the unreliable children are still very few.
You can also pay attention to the community and village where you live, or every family house, every building and every unit. In families with elderly residents, how many elderly people actually entered the nursing home? You can learn and see, even now it is still the mainstream of home-based care!
3. Based on the above, the problem is that when people are old, there is no one to rely on and they have the financial conditions to enter the nursing home. This is the general trend. This friend's basic point of view is:
Who do you depend on when you are old?
A: It still depends on the children.
Is it the general trend to have economic conditions to enter a nursing home?
A: No, but it does not rule out the situation of entering a nursing home.
If the elderly are in good health, good spirits, good self-care ability, independent or live well with their children, all problems are not a problem.
The key is the problem of providing for the elderly with partial disability (attention disorder), which is the fundamental problem.
This is generally a necessary stage for the elderly and a key stage for children to really take responsibility.
Raising children to prevent old age, raising soldiers for a thousand days, and using soldiers for a while, the key is to look at old age. No children! Look around. Who is it? Ha ha! Different people have different views, and wise people have different views. No one will understand if you don't tell!
4. At present, with the country's great concern for the elderly, a series of laws, regulations and policies and measures have been promulgated, and a series of policies and measures for caring for the elderly have also been promulgated in various places. All over the country or individuals have also made beneficial explorations on the issue of providing for the aged from different angles, such as various characteristic nursing homes held around the country, research and exploration on the integrated mode of providing for the aged, community providing for the aged, neighborhood care, hospice care and so on. , and explored in many aspects.
It can be said that the rise of the cause of providing for the aged, whether it is public nursing homes or private nursing homes, the rise of these nursing homes and the beneficial exploration and innovation in various ways and methods are beneficial supplements to the lack of home-based care for the aged and are beneficial to the elderly.
Of course, if all conditions permit, the elderly in their own homes are not unable to take care of themselves. It is not impossible for the elderly to voluntarily arrange to go to a nursing home.
In a word, every family's situation is different, so we can't generalize. What suits your family situation is the best. The key is to analyze the specific situation to deal with the problem of providing for the aged, which is everyone's hope.
Respecting the old and loving the young is an excellent cultural tradition of the Chinese nation. Provide for the elderly, provide for the elderly, provide for the elderly, provide for the elderly. It is not only the responsibility of children, but also the responsibility of the whole society to let every old man live a happy old age. Let's work together and wish every old man a better life in his later years!
Answer the questions as mentioned above. Talk about something shallow, don't sit in the right place, just for browsing. If you feel bad, please make it up.
Respecting the old and loving the young is a traditional virtue of our country. In respect for the elderly, the state has made many decisions to take care of the elderly: for example, giving old-age subsidies to the elderly over 60 in rural areas; Free bus ride for the elderly over 65 years old; Give more pensions to retired people over 65. In the future, the state will continue to increase its care for the elderly.
With the continuous improvement of people's living standards, people's health predictions are constantly enhanced, so their life expectancy is getting longer and longer. Since then, China's elderly population has gradually increased, and the degree of population aging is getting higher and higher. With the continuous increase of the elderly population, the state should build various forms of nursing homes in towns, counties and cities, and at the same time, the state also encourages private enterprises to set up fee-based nursing homes. If there are nursing homes for five-guarantee households without children and special "poor households" who have no ability to work, all the expenses of such nursing homes will be fully invested by the state.
For the elderly who can take care of themselves, there are general service-oriented and fee-based nursing homes. Nursing homes only provide accommodation, catering and tea services, and everything else is taken care of by the elderly.
There are also service-oriented and fee-based nursing homes for the elderly who have lost their ability to take care of themselves. Nursing homes are responsible for all nursing work, such as providing meals, tea and water, providing laundry, feeding, taking care of defecation, sleeping, getting up and washing. This kind of nursing home has high fees, good equipment and thoughtful service.
Therefore, the landlord put forward: "When people are old, no one can rely on them, and it is the general trend to have economic conditions to enter the nursing home", that's right. It's not that children have no filial piety. In today's era of rapid economic development, they simply have no time and energy to take care of the elderly. Their life must keep up with the times, and they must make money desperately to meet and satisfy the needs of today's life. Therefore, old people can't be considered unfilial.
We old people should make good preparations for providing for the aged in advance, and prepare a certain pension for ourselves in advance for providing for the aged. Take care of your money, don't let the younger generation know, and don't give it to them because they need it. When we are in urgent need, the younger generation can't take it out for a while. What shall we do? So we old people should think more about ourselves and leave some room for ourselves.
Old friend, times are developing and society is progressing. With the development of the times, the traditional concept of raising children to prevent old age has gradually faded. It is the general trend for the elderly to enter the nursing home. In order to meet the requirements of the times, they should make full preparations for their old-age life, save enough money before entering old age, and then the two old people go to the nursing home together.
From the current point of view, people are old and have economic conditions, and children can't count on it. Going to a nursing home is really the only choice! But the nursing home is not as good and perfect as we thought! Ten years ago, when my father came to my home for the aged, because our business was sometimes busy, we didn't have enough time to take care of him, so we had to discuss with my father and send him to a nursing home.
My father said that he didn't want to go to a nursing home under any circumstances. He thinks we don't want him. Maybe when the old people get to this point, they will have such psychology and concerns. It took me two or three days to convince my father that it was only a month or two, and I will definitely take you home when I am finished.
My wife and I found several nursing homes to see the environment, people and things in nursing homes, and the mental state of the elderly living in nursing homes! Finally, I chose a better nursing home, and I am very satisfied. Their service attitude is also very good and kind. Although my father needs someone to take care of him, his pension cost is more than double that of others, and we also recognize it. We must never wronged my father! You can't leave it in a nursing home like a burden.
Even so, I still take time to visit my father every day, even if I chat with him, it will make him feel at ease. At first, there were four old people living in my father's room. This is a clean and comfortable environment. Bring some fruit to share with other old people every time you go. To tell the truth, I really can't hide the loneliness of the old people, and my heart is very uncomfortable.
Every time I go, these old people cry. I know in my heart that it's hard to see me thinking of their children again. People in that environment, who changed the in the mind is not the taste. Really, I've been there for half a month and haven't seen the children of these old people once. That's what my father said. The parents of the dean of the nursing home are both elderly people in their sixties. Every time they see me, they praise me and say, "You are the only son who often sees your father." I just smiled and didn't talk. I know my father is very dependent on me. I can't sleep all day without seeing me. So can I!
In the days when I sent my father away, I would think of my father when I was lying on the kang at night. Where is he? Can you eat enough? Will you suffer from anger and so on. ;
Let's talk about the nursing home again. Everything was normal at first, but then I learned something about the internal situation. Superficial beauty is just an illusion. My father's mind is clear, and he has secretly told me about his observations and feelings for a month or so. Father said, "It's a mess. Someone steals things, steals money and the like! " "My father also said that a nursing aunt in her fifties often yelled at these old people, scaring them into silence. Old people eat slowly and are robbed of their jobs before they finish eating. I'm surprised and angry!
It happened that I went to see my father that day, and the nurse aunt came in to clean up. Father secretly pointed at her, meaning this person. I said to the nurse aunt, "big sister!" " What did you mean when you heard my father say that you abused these old people and robbed them of their jobs? "Aunt nurse pretended not to know anything, and I was not used to her saying," I really didn't see it, only once, and I'll hear it again next time! "I can't spare you. Everyone has old people, so don't be too wicked. " The nurse's aunt coaxed me, and I told my father. Don't be afraid. Tell me everything.
Later, I asked to arrange a double room for my father, which was ok. Another old man is blind, even more pitiful! Other people's rooms are messy and complicated. A room with a dozen people. Men and women live together and have a strong smell. I just took one look and left quickly. I don't know how hard it is.
There are also good nursing homes, which are not places that ordinary people can afford. Everything is fine, and of course the money is in place. At the end of the second month, I took my father home, and he was very happy! Said to me: I will never go there again, it is not a place for people to stay. I said: Dad! If you don't come in the future, you will stay at home for the elderly. Don't worry.
People often say that they go to nursing homes when they are old. I think it's just the carelessness of some idle and boring people! People with good economic conditions are not a problem! What should the elderly with poor economic conditions do? Pension is a big problem! It is related to the ultimate destination of every old man, and there is absolutely no problem for children to be filial! There are also many unfilial children. Last night, I saw a video of a netizen named "Bu Laosong", telling the tragic life of an elderly couple. Their children are not around, and the two old people have a house and a pension, but they can't take care of their own lives. They are old and need someone to take care of everything, which makes me a little insomnia. I didn't go to bed until two o'clock and was woken up by the phone at six in the morning. I wonder what the children of the two old people think. Very irritating.
I guess there are many such things all over the country. Not every old man is so happy and dignified when he is old! What is the future pension problem? Maybe there will be a good solution, so that every old man can have a happy old age.
This is a very heavy topic.
Everyone is old, whether you are rich or poor, ugly or handsome, you will get old with time. This is a fact that no one can escape.
Since ancient times, there has been a saying that raising children to prevent old age, but some children have not understood it themselves. How can they raise you old? Even if their children are filial, a young couple should take care of four old people on both sides, perhaps more. Even if the younger generation has the heart, they can't afford it! …
So I said, it is most important to live in the present and be happy every day. Wait till you get old!
When you are old and healthy, you will support the elderly at home, and you will be overwhelmed. If your wife is still alive, let's go to a nursing home together! If you can afford it, find a nursing home with better conditions. If the conditions are worse, find a nursing home with worse conditions. Don't think too much now. It doesn't matter how old you live. Let it be! …
The nursing home is not a happy home, I won't go anyway! Although economic conditions can! My 83-year-old aunt moved back from a nursing home last week and hired a nanny to support the elderly at home. The reason for this is the following：
First, the nursing home is a complex. People who go to nursing homes are sent to nursing homes because they can't stay at home for various reasons: ① Because they are old and sick, their children have no time or are unwilling to take care of them (some children are retired and travel around, preferring to spend money rather than live with their parents)! It's hard to live with these moaning grandmothers all day! Especially those who died in nursing homes and rushed to the graves. ...
② Old people have different tempers. Some people are depressed and don't like to talk, some are nagging all day, some are grumpy and dare not provoke, especially those who are grumpy and have a stiff relationship with their children at home. It's terrible to be a neighbor with such an old man. ...
(3) The same old people, people from all directions (people with money can go in) and people from different classes have great differences in ideology and culture! Take the middle-grade nursing home as an example. It's really hard for the old people who go to institutions and institutions to stay in a compound with their grandparents in the countryside! For example, watching TV, everyone likes it differently and watches it at different times. It's so uncomfortable!
(4) The activity space of the nursing home is small, and it is always sunset and dusk, lifeless, with no breath of spring. People live there, and their physiology and psychology accelerate aging! How can there be comfort at home? As long as you are not paralyzed, you can stay in the park all day, down the river, with cool breeze and flowing water, flowers and green fields, bees flying and butterflies dancing, birds singing and flowers smelling … which nursing home is so comfortable!
Nursing homes are not welfare homes. The boss runs the nursing home according to the business model, and making money is a big deal. Advertising is often very different from the actual situation, and spending money may not necessarily enjoy the treatment it deserves! Especially those elderly people whose children don't often come to visit and ask questions, or who have no children, alas ..... often suffer. ...
So, learn from my menstrual lessons, no matter what, I will choose to live at home for the aged! Life can take care of itself, do it yourself! If it is a little difficult to take care of yourself, please hire a nanny. Really not good. I will never drag my son down. I will starve myself and drive the crane home leisurely. ...
When an old friend was 83 years old, his wife, who was one year younger than him, left early, and his life suddenly seemed meaningless.
The only son is far away with his daughter-in-law and grandson. Only then did he know the importance of his wife and realized that he had raised a son for a foreign country! He said, Jin Shiyuan, the most confusing thing in my life is working hard to raise useless children all my life!
I said, you don't say, I don't think you are confused. If you say it, I really think you are confused! If you take regret medicine all your life, you will get sick if you can't cure it.
Old friends don't believe in the theory of special medical care. I taught him the hygiene law of the Golden College. He thinks keeping in good health is a waste of money and time. Although he can still walk and take care of himself, he is a disabled person compared with my other health peers!
To make a long story short, the son of an old friend hurried back to China and had to send him to a nursing home. Old friends know very well that once they go to a nursing home, they will never return to their familiar homes! He packed dozens of photo albums and threw them into the trash can, saying to himself, it is better to throw them away than to let the children throw them away!
Jin Shiyuan: I always say that everyone is lonely. Everyone is another person except myself! My old friend always called me selfish 30 years ago, but now he has finally told the truth. He said that what a person cherishes may be rubbish in the eyes of others. He thinks his son is someone else!
Life is like a play, sooner or later, it will be a curtain call, and the best ending is to come healthy and go healthy!
I never said what my old friend did. It doesn't matter what he does when he is old. Finally, he will be judged by two standards: healthy and unhealthy; Able to take care of themselves, unable to take care of themselves; Those who go to nursing homes and those who don't!
Jin Shiyuan's calligraphy: Taoism is natural.
My old friend is a professor. He finally taught himself a vivid and sad lesson with his own experience. Health is unreliable, nothing is reliable!
Jin Shiyuan
2021.07.11On the way to school
I am a post-60s, just retired, and the next batch of old people are us. The only daughter is married. My point is: try to help them when they need it. Now that the house is so expensive, there is too much pressure not to help him! But you have to go to a nursing home. Because of their children in the eighties and nineties, the state requires them to have three children. If they don't have three children, they have to have two, and both have to work. Working children are enough for them. Plus the old ones, most of them have four old ones, and one of them has a problem and runs around! Go to the nursing home, and invite them to have a look when you are free! [to the heart] [to the heart]
People nowadays are not unreliable, but forced by the situation. In response to the government's call a few years ago, a couple had only one child, many of whom were only children. Think about how two people can take care of four old people on both sides, or even more, and take care of the children.
Due to China's national conditions, a gourd-shaped population structure has been formed, that is, the feet are big and the middle is thin, and the mouth is big. Therefore, the elderly should think about their own difficulties for their children. Now the burden of the previous generation falls on the shoulders of the only child, who also shoulders the sacred mission of giving birth to three children. Let's do the math. It costs a lot of money for a child to grow up. What about the three children?
I think when people are old, they can take care of themselves if they can live. If they can't take care of themselves, they can go to a nursing home. They can't drag the children too much. Don't say that it is filial piety for children not to take care of you. What can they eat without change? Therefore, the elderly should start from the overall situation and think in turn. May all the old people in the world live a happy old age.