Why do second-married women always feel insecure (divorced women feel insecure)

Text/On the Road

A middle-aged man in his fifties, who had hearing impairment due to illness since childhood, got married at the age of 41, and suffered a mid-life crisis at the age of 49, and his marriage broke up. . He was supposed to be an age when he had a successful career and a happy family, but he once again encountered the Waterloo of fate and fell into a trough in life. In the face of sudden adversity, what keeps me full of curiosity about life, full of pursuit of career, and full of love for life?

After the years of burning passion, I have entered middle age. Suddenly looking back, half a century has passed in my life.

People often say: "You stand at thirty, you are no longer confused at forty, and you know your destiny at fifty." In this age group where "everything is over when people reach middle age", many of their peers are already in their careers. Successful, happy family, four generations living under one roof, and enjoying their old age in peace.

Fate does not favor everyone, I am an example.

He suffered from hearing loss due to illness since childhood. He got married at the age of 41, and then suffered a mid-life crisis at the age of 49, and his marriage broke up. He was supposed to be an age when he had a successful career and a happy family, but he once again encountered the Waterloo of fate and fell into a trough in life.

Facing sudden adversity, where is my way out? How can we get out of this trough, achieve a counterattack in life, and see a better self and the world like others?

I have thought about starting a business. Only starting a business can help me solve the serious debt problem and help me get out of the economic crisis. However, at the age of fifty, can I still struggle like a young person?

Many people around me kindly advised me not to blindly mess around at this time. The risk of starting a business is too high, and if you are not careful, you will be in jeopardy. I know this is not alarmist, especially in the transition period of the world economy, when few people can clearly see the way forward. 01 ?During adversity, I developed a strong curiosity about writing

I struggled with extreme anxiety for more than three years and tried many ways to get out of adversity, but to no avail.

Once I saw a micro-course article about writing in Qianliao Academy. After clicking to pay 69 yuan, I listened to the course in one go. This is Teacher Hongdan’s writing class. Inspired by this, writing is something that everyone can do, and it can be completed by one person. I learned from it that there are many people who have achieved an income several times their salary through writing, completely changed their lives, and lived the way they want.

I developed a strong curiosity about writing.

I am a person with a wide range of interests. I like calligraphy, photography, reading, writing, traveling, etc., and I am always curious about new things in life, but I have never heard that writing can also be done. So profitable.

When I was in my thirties, I resigned from a village primary school and went home. I opened a printing shop in the town, which also provided photography, printing, copying and other services.

That year, the country implemented the policy of returning farmland to forest. To apply for subsidies in rural areas, a lot of documents needed to be copied. It was based on this situation and opportunity that I thought of opening a store.

But it was still too late, because someone in the town had already taken the lead and made a lot of money. The business after I opened the store was not very good. In a small mountain town with a population of only about 5,000, my store could barely make ends meet.

Later I entered the postal service and gradually ran out of time to run the store, so I had to close it down.

At that time, the Internet had just spread to the town, and we were the first to have access to the network in the town. The popularity of the Internet and the rise of self-media have brought incredible opportunities to those who love writing. I have never heard that writing can be fun like this before. I only thought that writing meant writing poetry, prose, and novels. Something like that.

After many people made their first pot of gold in self-media creation, the Internet has created a group of people who dare to eat crabs. Since writing can be fun like this and it is my hobby, since others can do it, why can’t I give it a try. At least when I'm writing, I don't need others to step in and help me. I can finish it by myself without affecting my work. I can finish it by using fragmented time outside of work. I feel like writing is a very suitable thing for me to do.

I once had a literary dream, and I also dreamed of becoming a photographer, calligrapher, traveler, etc., but no matter which "home" I have, I need an economic foundation. In the first half of my life, my dreams were shattered by reality, so much so that I no longer dare to believe in them.

Now that I have learned about the new way of writing, I can’t help but feel excited. I can not only monetize my hard work and make money through writing, but also satisfy my curiosity, develop my own hobbies, and give it a try. Try it, maybe your dream will come true.

The strange thing is that the less money a person has, the more he wants to make money. The more you think about making money, the harder it is to make money. No matter how well it is said, money is something external to oneself, but one cannot live without it. There are many ways to make money in the world. Working purely to make money will not only lead to a tiring life, but as soon as the work stops, the source of money will soon be cut off.

Making money is very important. What is more important than making money is that making money by doing what you like can not only make people live happier, but also become the biggest winner in life. 02 Keep the peace in your heart and pursue what you want

Writing requires quietness, but it is also very fulfilling.

In the training camp, according to the teacher's advice, I got up early every day for an hour to write freely, because during this time the environment was very quiet and there were no external factors to disturb me, so I could create quietly.

The most troublesome thing is that because of the debt crisis, there are debt collectors almost every day, and there are many miscellaneous things that come to me all at once. I wanted to calm down and write something, but I was overwhelmed by all this mess. Things were so mixed up that I couldn't rest in peace, and I couldn't write anything at all. I couldn't finish writing during the day.

If the mind cannot calm down, no matter what you do, you will not be able to concentrate on it, let alone do it well. Whether writing or reading, you not only need a quiet environment, but more importantly, a calm mind.

In the process of writing, I often encounter bottlenecks and fall into confusion, not knowing where to go.

There are many difficulties encountered in writing, such as lack of time, blurred vision, and even the idea of ??giving up every time I encounter a problem. Some people question, how much can you sell for writing an article? This sentence is indeed very shocking.

If you are a beginner in writing, you may not be able to write a decent article in a few months, let alone make money. There are many people who have written for several years and millions of words without seeing any money. But they just insist on this persistence as always, why? I'm afraid this guy doesn't write for the money.

When there is no achievement, the mind is easily irritable and restless. At this time, you should think more about the good things. Life spans just a few decades. If you endure the momentary irritability, never forget your original intention, find yourself in tranquility, and follow the path under your feet far enough, there will always be many unexpected gains. ?03 ? Only by loving life, loving learning, and loving yourself can you see a better world

Life is the source of writing. If you continue to learn and make progress, you will have a steady stream of materials, and your literary thoughts will never be exhausted. .

Writer Wu Jie once said, live first, then pursue your dreams. Only by taking care of your life can you pursue your dreams with peace of mind.

A friend from a training camp told me that her husband doesn’t support her getting up early to write because she hasn’t achieved results yet. When you become successful, it will be difficult to get her husband to support you.

Love life, love family, love your relatives and love yourself. There is usually a peaceful and peaceful atmosphere in happy families, but in those unhappy families there is always one person who keeps complaining and blaming her, about her husband being useless and unable to make money; about her husband not being able to give her the life she wants; and so on. My wife is always lazy and spends money lavishly; my wife is always good-looking for others, but ugly and bad-tempered for her. If this is not good and that is not good, the family will be full of war and smoke.

I feel this deeply. In the first two years after my marriage, my family was quite warm. Later, because I saw that others had houses and cars, I allowed her to fulfill her wish regardless of my actual ability, but it dug a huge hole for me. Amid endless complaints, this tragic marriage had to be ended.

A second-married woman only feels safe about money, but she ignores that she is the one who can make a man successful, and she is the one who can destroy a man with her own hands. I don't hate her, because I know that without money, no matter how good a woman is, you can't keep her.

If you love your family, you should treat them with understanding and tolerance. If you only care about your own feelings and complain endlessly, tragedy will be inevitable. When you destroy the other party with your own hands, you will also be destroyed.

Treat your family members kindly with great love, and bad luck will stay away. If your family is harmonious, your life will be happy. No matter who you are, you can pursue your dreams with peace of mind and see a better world.

Many times, we see other people’s achievements and count their bills, but we don’t know what we really want? Is it money, fame, or dreams?

"Squandering flowers gradually become charming." We are gradually blinded by the temptation of reality, looking at the glory of others, in a daze, our thoughts are led by others, but we forget our own. In my original intention, I forgot my true self.

Therefore, I recommend a set of good books that allow middle-aged people to grow better and see a better version of themselves and the world: "Calm Down and Recover the Original Intention" by Jiang Xiaoying, "Quiet" by Hui Wen Come down and find yourself", Tao Huiyun's "Calm down and everything will be fine".

Jiang Xiaoying's "Calm down and find your original intention" takes the seven major themes of tranquility, sincerity, purity, benevolence, abiding, heart and dream as its core theme. With the theme of "calm down and find your original intention", it takes readers Go deep into it, talk about the past and present, and look for the truth and beauty of life. Let you become more comfortable and fulfilled in a chaotic world, always maintain your original intention, and stay young forever.

"Calm Down, Everything Will Be Alright" by spiritual teacher Hui Wen is a philosophy book on life cultivation. It enlightens readers' minds from the perspective of the relationship between meditation and happiness, allowing them to calm down to study and think. Be still and absorb. Let us transform after a period of quiet time.

The three books are combined into The Power of Quiet Mind Trilogy. Let you find your original intention, find yourself, no longer be confused, let you forget your worries, no longer be depressed, let you find strength and see hope from silence.

Calm down and look at the world. It’s not that the world is too noisy, it’s that your heart is too noisy. The original intention is eternity, and tranquility has its own power. It is a spiritual inspirational book for millions of urban strugglers. Shiman's Power of Calm Trilogy: Calm Down Set 3 volumes ¥69 Buy

People who live in confusion, I hope you can calm down, think about your original intention, and find your true self , you can see a better world.