Recently, I accidentally learned about the love story of an old classmate, which made me feel sad.
Lily got married. After three months of blind date, Hesen proposed, received the certificate, and announced to relatives and friends all at once, leaving only the wedding.
Last night, Lily informed everyone in the classmate group, "We have decided not to hold the wedding. The most important thing is that everyone is safe during the epidemic."
We all teased her, "Sure enough, It’s the wife of a rich man who, with a stroke of her pen, pardoned our share of the money.” She responded to us with a voice message. Her words were full of smiles, coquettish and appropriate, and she couldn’t hide her happiness. Lily told me excitedly in private, "I have a baby!"
For a moment, I couldn't help but sigh, people, once fate comes, things will change with each passing day.
In the past, Lily and Chuan, whom she had been in love with for eight years, were together, and they were heartbroken that this campus romance could come to fruition.
Lily loved Sichuan very much. She fetched him water, bought him meals, occupied a seat in the study room, and got up at 4 o'clock in the morning in winter to queue up just to buy him a train ticket home. Even Sichuan's mother One year, she came to the city from her hometown to see a doctor. Lily even took a week off to go to the hospital to take care of her...
She firmly believed that as long as the love in school days can go to the end, it must be destined to be the best. Therefore, use all your youthful energy to protect it!
Unfortunately, when love is too immature, one person shouts "I love you" at the top of his lungs, but the other person does not respond.
Chuan is a mystery to Lily, so he doesn’t care. Whenever other boys have a crush on Lily, he will be jealous enough to make a date with them. Say he cares, he really hasn't taken good care of Lily. I won’t go into the details of life, but one thing can illustrate the problem.
One year, the school held an English speech contest to select contestants to participate in the national competition. Lily easily qualified for the competition. The teacher was very optimistic about her and gave her guidance many times. Lily also practiced from dawn to dusk for two months.
On the day of the trial, Chuan was injured playing basketball, and Lily accompanied him to the hospital. When it was time for the game, he refused to let Lily go and said, "Is it important that you accompany me during the game? Are you that vain?" "Later, another classmate who was far less capable than Lily got a good opportunity.
There are many similar things. Of course, there were times when they were very happy together, like childhood sweethearts, and their tacit understanding and joy were undeniable.
After many years, when we became more mature and had a certain ability to reflect, we understood that Chuan was more controlling towards Lily. But it’s hard for others to wake up. Emotional matters can only be understood by the person concerned. If you don’t understand, you will have a fate that you can’t understand. If you understand, there will be a way out.
The insurmountable gap in the relationship between Lily and Chuan occurred after Chuan met Lily's parents.
Lily is an only child in the city, and her parents must have requirements for their future son-in-law. As a result, when they met for the first time, Chuan sat on the sofa after eating and didn't help clean up, nor did he say a polite word. Lily's father said bluntly, "This young man is of very poor quality, so I don't want to do anything else."
Lily repeatedly explained that Chuan had a straight personality and a good heart, but her parents were convinced that Chuan was unreliable and did not allow Lily to continue dating him.
Chuan's self-esteem was greatly frustrated. He was also the only son in the family. He had been a top student since he was a child and was supported by his teachers and parents when he grew up. How could he withstand such intimidation? He couldn't bear to communicate with his prospective father-in-law. He just felt that Lily's parents were harsh and Lily had begged for help many times, but to no avail.
Lily also cried to us and complained that she was in so much pain that she even had silly thoughts of giving up on life. The two remained in a stalemate until graduation. Chuan got offers from first-class companies three times in a row, but gave up on them all for Lily and stayed in her city, waiting for a turnaround.
Finally, the "turning point" came - Lily's parents arranged for Lily to have a blind date.
It wasn’t until she met Sen that Lily realized that men could be like this:
We had only known each other for a week, and Lily mentioned that she wanted to go on a business trip, so Sen booked the flight for her in advance. Tickets, and even the weather at the place of business trip has been checked. When Lily came back from her business trip, Sen had already driven her car and was waiting at the airport. Lily's character is a bit timid and cautious. When the company competes for employment, Sen encourages Lily to sign up. It doesn't matter if she fails. Lili mentioned once that her father had chronic rhinitis, so Sen asked his classmates to buy medicines from home and abroad...
Sen has a house, a car, and sincerity. He has a good career. He is also an only son, and his family, The looks and height match, so it suits Lily very well.
On Lily’s birthday, Mori arranged a proposal. He invited his three best buddies to witness it, and also invited two of Lily’s friends to accompany Lily. Lily was deeply moved because Chuan had never treated her like this before. She, so much so that she suspected that everything Sen did was an illusion.
She said to Chuan, "I know you cherish me, and I'm very grateful, but I still hope that marriage will be based on love."
Chuan smiled, like a spoiled child Like a child, he touched Lily's head and said, "Silly girl, aren't I creating love? Besides, I have a lifetime left, and I'm going to celebrate Valentine's Day every day, so I'm afraid you'll think I'm clingy."
Everyone laughed. In such a relaxed and beautiful atmosphere, Lily's body and mind warmed up. She suddenly "awoke" and figured it out. She knew everything. She no longer had any pedantic worries and wore it openly He took Sen's diamond ring and leaned it on Sen's shoulder.
At that moment, she felt extremely relaxed, and the mountain that had been weighing on her heart for many years disappeared.
Not long after, the epidemic broke out, and the two spent a unique honeymoon in their small home, and also had the fruit of love.
Good intimate relationships make people look brand new. Lily’s circle of friends is full of visible freedom, happiness and abundance. And Sichuan disappeared.
When it comes to getting married, he is far inferior to Sen in terms of material conditions. When it comes to valuing his partner and being as mature as Sen, he is equally weak. Eight years can’t be worth three months. It’s fate and nature. Looking for it. In the face of good marriage choices, in the face of "suitability", "love" is worthless!
Marriage is not a necessity. People have the right and freedom not to marry. However, for those who long for marriage, the following 4 views are worth taking a look at:
First, don’t bother. What is the definition of true love? If it is not good for you, it must not be love.
People who hurt you, control you, and deny you may be with you for a long time, but they definitely don’t love you.
Many people like to use time as an important criterion, thinking that being together for several years must mean something. In fact, time is meaningless in the face of facts. The so-called love for 8 years is just a misunderstanding.
Of course, no one is perfect, and no one can achieve 100%. No matter it is love, family, or friendship, there is no perfect one. Long-term intimate relationships are full of trials and tribulations. However, in any relationship, you must have your own bottom line. If the other party exceeds the bottom line, you must know how to identify and protect yourself.
Second, whether it is marriage or love, those who know the current affairs are heroes. The most taboo is the "loyal dog" mentality, which is unreasonable.
If Lily didn't go on a blind date, she might miss Sen forever and never see the beauty that love and marriage should have. If Lily insists on entangled with Chuan to the end, it is almost inevitable that she will become a resentful woman in the future.
Although regarding emotional matters, such as knowing whether a person drinks water or not, and respecting everyone's choice, it is really not recommended to jump into a fire pit with eyes open. What many people call "emphasis on affection" and "exclusive affection", to put it bluntly, means that the eyes are unclear, the mind is indifferent, and one-minded. Respect the facts, seek advantages and avoid disadvantages, and be wiser.
Third, any relationship is a mirror, and self-awareness is great wisdom.
Lily said that looking back on the past eight years, she did not blame Chuan. It was her own lack of experience and cultivation that made her so embarrassed in the entanglement with Chuan.
Many people fall in love with their significant other and use words and phrases in every possible way. In short, it’s all the other person’s problem.
But in my opinion, the essence of a relationship is a mirror, especially an intimate relationship. What kind of partner a person chooses will most likely be absolutely commensurate with his or her experience, vision, and abilities, and will never be the same. May marry/marry someone beyond one's cognitive ability.
People who can reflect on their own bugs in relationships can grow. If people always meet bad people, instead of complaining about others, it is better to improve themselves.
Fourth, before meeting the right person, it is always right to improve yourself. It is a high probability to meet the good with the good.
There is a reason why Lily is so cherished by Sen. She is academically excellent, sincere, has good calligraphy, and is beautiful. When he was with Chuan, he was just a beautiful jade that no one recognized. Once beauty is seen, Lily is the kind of girl who is held in the palm of your hand.
The probability of getting married is small. Most people will marry someone who matches them in every aspect. This is a high probability.
Therefore, it is always right to make yourself better. Even if you can't meet the right person in your life, you can still live a good life if you have a great yourself.