A female college classmate had a boyfriend who she had been with for seven years during her school years. From junior high school to high school and then to university, her relationship foundation was also very good. The boy was good-looking and gave people a very quiet feeling. They were meticulous, and my classmates also did a good job. During college, they lived in different places, rejected multiple suitors at school, and never had ambiguities with the opposite sex. We agreed that they would get married after graduation.
The boy’s family conditions are very average. After graduation, under the arrangement of his family, his classmate married a blind date who owned a car and a house and ran his own business. I went to the wedding and it was held in a classy manner.
After getting married, the female classmate lived a moderate life. She gave birth to a daughter in the second year. She often showed off her baby in WeChat Moments, and occasionally posted some short videos of a family of three going out for fun. We chatted on WeChat, and my classmate said that life is pretty good now. She works as a full-time wife at home every day, and doesn’t have to work. She can take care of the baby, clean up the housework, and cook. It’s quite comfortable and peaceful. Her husband is also good to her and will try his best to satisfy her. According to her request, the family of three can be considered happy.
I have a female colleague at work who has a sweet appearance and a good figure. She can be considered a beautiful woman. I have dated a partner. We have been together for almost two years. We proposed marriage at home, but was rejected by my colleague’s parents. The reason It’s because my boyfriend can’t meet the requirements of my colleague’s parents.
Her colleagues’ parents have always instilled in her the concept that she must have a car and a house to get married. The relationship that lasted for two years finally gave up to reality. The colleague got married. The man met on a blind date and was three or four years older than her. He was 2 years old and looked quite carefree. His family ran a factory and was considered a wealthy family in the local area. The parents of both parties also made it very clear that the man liked the woman's appearance and the woman liked the man's conditions. They hit it off immediately. She got pregnant not long after the marriage. When she was six months old, the husband suddenly filed for divorce. No one said it would work, but she was stubborn. My colleague was dragged to the hospital by her mother-in-law and had an induced labor. After the operation, she was directly treated in the hotel. I lived in a house for a month, then I just walked away. After the surgery, my classmate's face turned pale and he could hardly walk. There was no one from her husband's family to take care of her, so her sister prepared meals and delivered them to her every day. It took her more than half a year to recover, but her body and bones were almost recovered, but the root cause of the disease was also removed.
Later I found out that the man had cheated on her and had found a mistress outside. The mother-in-law even yelled: My family has plenty of money, and my son can have as many wives as he wants. My colleague is now renting a house and does not think it would be embarrassing to go back to his parents' home. The salary he earns every month will be enough to support himself, which looks quite miserable.
A city girl named Xiaowen fell in love with a rural boy in college. They had been in love for four years and were planning to get married after graduation.
Xiaowen's parents did not agree and threatened Xiaowen with breaking away from the relationship. Xiaowen had no choice but to break up with his boyfriend and marry an officer his parents found for him.
In the beginning, Xiaowen had no feelings for her husband and life was very boring. As time went by, the two gradually fell in love with each other.
Xiaowen’s father-in-law was a high-ranking official and arranged for her to work in the government. It was very relaxing and the salary was not low. She was promoted within a few years.
Xiaowen’s husband was even more at home in the army, and within a few years he became the deputy regiment commander.
The two of them own a house and a car, their savings exceed three digits, their children are very smart and beautiful, the couple is very loving, and they live a very comfortable life.
If you want to buy clothes, buy them without hesitation. If you want to travel, just travel. If you get tired of playing at home, go abroad.
There is a huge difference between taking care of your ex-boyfriend. He married a rural girl like him, with no resources, no connections, low salary, a loan to buy a house, and a child. In addition to the mortgage, milk powder for the children, and living expenses, the salary the two of them earned was basically moonshine.
I never attend colleagues’ or family gatherings unless I have to.
His parents are also old and can no longer do the hard work, so they have to send money back every month.
Life is tight, and it will fall apart at the slightest disturbance.
Xiaowen heard about the situation of her ex-boyfriend and secretly felt lucky that she listened to her parents.
Although love is good, can it be used as food?
We have to live after all, and we have to be realistic.
Are we wrong? No one is wrong. What is wrong is the vicissitudes of life and the great changes in human relationships. What we can hold on to is always too fragile and we have to reconsider. Hope to find a powerful reassurance pill.
Ten years ago, I broke up with my first love under the pressure of my family, and then had a flash marriage with my current husband. To be honest, my first love was very good to me, and I cried at home for a whole day when they found out I was getting married. That period was probably the most difficult time for him and me! Later, I knew everything was a done deal, so I settled down to live with my current husband. I still had contact with my first love, but we only chatted occasionally. To be honest, I still feel quite sad and feel sorry for him.
But the done deal is irreversible. Fortunately, he is very up to date and is doing well now. He is a well-known designer in the local area. He also got married and had a baby last year. The days were also very happy. My husband and I live abroad, and our son and daughter live a very comfortable life. My husband can also cook and do housework, which is very good to me and very interesting. I am also very satisfied with him.
My first love and I occasionally chat. We can be regarded as mutual achievements! I can only say that I have no fate with him. He was very poor at the time, because he had just graduated and was definitely not as good as my current husband. But he made rapid progress. If he had become depressed after I broke up with him, or if his life had been unsatisfactory, I might not be able to bear it in my conscience.
He found his current wife 10 years after I got married, and it was a big blow to him when I got married. In the 10 years since he was not married, my heart has never been able to let go of him. Although I also love my current husband very much, I still can't let go of him. It wasn’t until he got married last year that the burden on my heart was relieved!
I sincerely hope that he will live a good life, and I will also try to live a good life of my own. After all, he and I once loved each other.
Summary: I love my current husband very much, and I had no choice but to marry him before. I didn’t even know him at that time. Fortunately, I was lucky. My husband was my type. He could cook, do housework, and work hard to make money. He also loved me and was very good at pleasing me. I have been married for 11 years and every day is like falling in love.
My first love is now a well-known local designer, and his achievements in the past few years have been remarkable. His wife is 10 years younger than him. She gave birth to a son last year. She also has a happy family and a successful career.
For You Erting’s point of view: How did those girls who abandoned their boyfriends and got married for a house and a car live later? After thinking about it for a long time, I couldn't find anyone like this, but there are quite a few who follow their boyfriends until they get married, but after marriage they always quarrel about money and have to rely on themselves for everything.
Real cases around me:
I have a friend. They met in college and fell in love. The boy’s family conditions are very poor. If you are considering getting married, you don’t have to think about a house and a car. It must be No.
Fortunately, this girl is more hard-working and knows that it is impossible to buy a house with her boyfriend, and they are in different cities. In order to be together, they can only buy a house in Zhengzhou, which is more suitable for them.
The girl worked very hard and bought two houses and a car in Zhengzhou six years after graduation, and she also had savings. Logically speaking, life is already pretty good.
But behind the seemingly beautiful scenery is a lot of hard work. I bought my own house and car. You can imagine how much pressure it is. My husband is not very helpful and often quarrels over money.
The money problem has been solved, and the gap between the two people has become wider and wider. The woman is getting better and more capable, but the man is still standing still. The two people did not grow up at the same spiritual level, and their values ????are also different. They often quarrel due to different views.
After marriage, love really cannot be used as bread. Most of the beautiful love and lasting love are based on material foundations.
A girl who chooses to get a car and a house after getting married, and those girls who choose to get married naked for love. Maybe before you get married, you will say you will never regret it, but after you get married and have children, you will realize how stupid you were at the beginning, and you will regret it countless times.
Because the end of your struggle is the starting point of others
Although there are no specific examples around me, on the contrary, those who ignored the opposition of their families to get married generally had regrets.
But just like those girls who were introduced to each other through blind dates and had better selection conditions after getting married, they did not say that they quarreled because of money, and their lives were quite comfortable.
Therefore, it is very necessary to consider the man’s material conditions before getting married. Poor and lowly couples have everything to suffer. It just keeps you from turning someone else's starting point into your ending point.
Based on the realistic portrayal of my best friend, I can only say that she is having a very bad life!
My best friend had a boyfriend when she was in college. He was really nice to her. No matter how unreasonable her request was, her boyfriend would try his best to satisfy her. At that time, she But she was the envy of everyone in our dormitory and felt that she had found a boy who was worth relying on for the rest of her life.
Maybe it’s because my best friend’s family was not particularly wealthy when she was young. From the time I met her, I thought she was too sensible, beyond her actual age. Finally, after graduation, she and his Her boyfriend broke up. When I asked her why they broke up, she said that she had three brothers and sisters in her family, and her parents were farmers, so they couldn't give her the life she wanted, and there was no way for her to settle down and start a business in Nanjing.
I said that everything can be obtained by your own efforts, and there will be bread, but she said that she didn’t want to work so hard, and she had to find someone at her beautiful age who could save her from having to work hard.
Later, she got her wish. Through a blind date, she met a boy who owned a house and a car in Nanjing. He was an only child, and the boy’s father was an engineer and had a certain financial background. On the day of their wedding, she Calling me a bridesmaid, I also hope that she can get the happiness she wants from now on!
But later, she told me that she regretted it. After getting married, her current husband ignored her family and children. He just played games, smoked, drank, and gambled every day. He had no ambition and was picky about her. Sou Sou, life after marriage is like a pool of stagnant water. Now she is also in a state of letting her husband go. They live their own lives without interfering with each other, only in name only.
This is the story of my best friend!
A large number of facts prove that the girls who were looking for cars and houses at the beginning had a pretty good life, while most of the girls who only wanted love were not doing so well.
In the face of marriage, never say that money is not important. Firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar, tea, whatever is free of money, try it if you don’t have money.
Don’t say that girls are too realistic. The world itself is too cruel. Everyone has the right to choose a better one. There is no need to drink water with you and have your mouth burned by you.
Bai Yansong once said, “When you are poor or hungry, you should never tell him that material things are not important.
I still say that material things are not important. It’s very important. If the foundation is not strong, the earth will shake, and poor and humble couples will suffer. Don’t always say that I believe in love, and then all material things are not important. Try it. ”
Materials do not equal love, but love. There must be a material basis.
I have a friend who married a poor boy just for the so-called love. At the beginning, he was having fun in misery and didn't think there was anything wrong with it.
But later, her father fell ill and needed 100,000 yuan for surgery. The couple borrowed money from all their relatives and friends, but they still couldn't raise the money for the surgery, so they could only watch her. Dad was tortured by illness. They also quarreled every day because of money.
If their material foundation was better, her father wouldn't be so miserable, and there wouldn't be so many quarrels.
Everyone has the right to pursue a better life.
But no one told us that we deserve better. No one asks us to have a relationship, so we have to endure a lot of hardships and suffer a lot. So, is it wrong for us to choose the better one?
It is said in the novel "Pride and Prejudice": "A marriage that only talks about money is ridiculous, a marriage that does not talk about money is stupid."
A good marriage should be Half is love, half is money.
We have the right to pursue a better life, and we also have the right to choose a lover who can give us a better life. Those who say that talking about money hurts their feelings often do so because they value money too seriously and their feelings are too weak to bear talking about money.
Writer Sanmao once said: "If love does not fall into the real life of dressing, eating, sleeping, and counting money, it will not last long."
In addition to romance, love is more about real life such as eating and sleeping, and these real lives require money to support them.
Romance can only be said to be the seasoning in the boring firewood, rice, oil and salt. It has taste, but it is not full. Without the ingredients, it is nothing. Have you ever seen someone feel full after drinking soy sauce? No! Have you ever seen someone who can feel full after eating plain rice? There are many people there.
If you only talk about romance in life, you will starve to death.
So those girls who only talk about relationships but not money, don't expect to get any better.
In short, love needs a material foundation, and you should never say that talking about money will hurt your feelings. Those girls who pursue material things are just a little more realistic at best, but this world is already so realistic.
Tell me about the example of my classmate.
My classmate’s family thought her boyfriend’s family was poor and too far away, so they disagreed when they started dating. Later, her mother finally broke up with her. On a blind date, we met a guy whose family had money, a car, and a car. Of course, my classmate’s family is not bad either. They got married after knowing each other for half a year.
She gave birth to a daughter in the first year after her marriage. Her family was very happy and her parents-in-law pampered her like the apple of their eye. The second child gave birth to a son. Since then, I have both a son and a daughter. My parents-in-law are smiling from ear to ear. They are particularly fond of my classmate and think about her good things all the time. My classmate has not worked since she got married. Her parents-in-law help take care of her children, and her nanny does the housework and meals. When her two children are grown, my classmate wants to go out to work. Her husband is afraid that she will be wronged in the workplace, so he opens a women's clothing store for her. The business in the store was booming, and people were getting busier and busier. One time, my daughter said: Mom is too busy, and she hasn’t accompanied me to the amusement park for a long time. After discussing it, my classmates and family members unanimously decided to transfer the store. From then on, She spends her time doing yoga, traveling, and spending time with her children. In her free time, she learns guzheng, enrolls in calligraphy classes, and practices golf. Recently, she becomes obsessed with baking. Her life is more fulfilling than that of an office worker. She uses her In other words: keep recharging yourself while accompanying your children to grow up. I'm really envious.
During the last chat, I asked her if she regretted breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. She said: "I was young and ignorant at the time, and I didn't understand that love and marriage are different, but it was a blessing in disguise." Indeed, her life at this time was happier than before marriage. And his ex-boyfriend is also married and lives in his hometown. He has no hope for his family. Although he is very diligent and hardworking, he is ultimately burdened by the mortgage loan and is far from the living conditions of my classmates. It is conceivable that if they ignored it at the beginning. My family is opposed to marriage, and the lives of my classmates may be completely different. When marrying, choose someone with better conditions and who is good to you. Don't overdo it. People want to go to higher places. This is not heartless. After all, no one can be responsible for the rest of other people's lives.
The examples around me tell me that they all live a good life!
A few of my classmates and I chose love, and a few of us who played well chose material things! Let me talk about our current living situation.
First of all, those who choose love basically live with their parents-in-law. Then they worry about money, rice, oil and salt all day long. The key point is that poor and humble couples are miserable and often worry about a little money. When you are pregnant, you should consider which tests are unnecessary. After giving birth, you should consider whether milk powder is safe and cheap. Even in hospitals, we have to consider where the beds are cheaper.
We both take care of our children at home. We do laundry, cooking and housework. We have to think about how to spend every penny. We can’t dress ourselves up, and we look like resentful wives!
Let’s take a look at the material selection. I have a car, a house, and savings. I don’t need to worry about money when I’m pregnant. My mother-in-law directly gives me a card to eat and drink well. Nutritional products, children’s things, everything can be prepared. There are confinement nannies during the confinement period and nannies to take care of the children. They are also not at work, but they wear beautiful clothes and use cosmetics well. They can also go out and travel when their husbands are on vacation. Children can be sent to various training classes, and money is never considered during the New Year and holidays.
So far, those who choose material things are doing well, while those who choose love are still struggling. Two have even divorced.
So! Love is based on material things. If food and clothing are not a problem, how can we live?
The answer is: having 2 children with my husband (only child) who has an urban household registration and a fool with a monthly salary of 2,000, guarding the 9 houses allocated for demolition every day, and living under the same roof with my father-in-law and mother-in-law who are over 50 years old. Live a "lady" life where you can spend money without having to go to work. And expressed no regrets.
Some people ask why he is a fool with a monthly salary of 2,000? Because the man had a fever when he was a child and his brain was burned out. He never recovered when he grew up. He couldn't do ordinary jobs and couldn't read. He couldn't even do basic waiter's work in a restaurant and could only work in the back office. I have to work in the kitchen, wash dishes, etc. It's just a relationship, so a monthly salary of 2,000 is pretty good; (It definitely doesn't mean that disadvantaged groups can't marry and have children, nor does it mean to belittle them.
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Why can people with no money get a wife? Because we are demolished households with urban household registration, there are some people who only care about money and not people. This incident really refreshed my perspective. Girls are the kind of girls who are not outstanding in appearance and look naive. Later I found out that when we were in the university library for classes, our family arranged various blind dates with a very clear purpose: no matter what the person is, as long as they have a city registered permanent residence. It's a village in the city.
In the end, it turned out as expected. When I was about to graduate, my uncle arranged a blind date with my current husband. He was not very smart. His urban household registration was in a village in the city and was about to be demolished. After graduation, I got married and shared 6 apartments. Now I have two children, a kindergarten and an elementary school. They are about to be demolished for the second time. Financially, I have a lot of surplus.
You may want to ask again, why are dignified college students so powerful? Everyone has their own ambitions, and it’s hard for us to answer.
The current living situation is to eat, drink and have fun without any worries. Apart from my husband’s monthly salary of 2,000 yuan, my parents-in-law do not give me any financial rights. You can eat, drink and have fun, but you can’t ask for money. .
But how are you actually doing? It’s hard to ask if we want to care. Anyway, I never show my husband in the circle of friends, never bring him to class reunions, and never bring him when shopping. Unless I occasionally see him at his house, there is no chance to see him at other times. I heard some time ago that I started contacting my ex. I can’t tell you the specific situation.
After all, there are two children to raise now, parents-in-law to take care of in the future, and a husband to take care of in the future. Life is like this, I just hope that her future life will go smoothly.
There is a boy who has lived in the countryside since he was a child. He has only one chance to eat chicken once a year. Half of the chicken is stewed with cabbage on the New Year’s Eve, and half of the chicken is stewed with cabbage on the 15th day of the year, so he grows up. After I grew up, I stopped eating chicken. I would often take a small bamboo pole to the beach or river to fish, and relied on this to improve my life. . .
The boy knew that his first destiny could not be changed, so he could only rely on himself to change his destiny. He could only study hard and rely on knowledge to change his destiny. . .
When a boy was in high school, he liked a girl, and the girl also liked the boy. Childhood sweethearts, childhood sweethearts, that’s all, right? After we met in college, we decided to marry him only if we had to, and the boy worked very hard and was admitted to a prestigious university. . .
Girls are also good, and they have been admitted to a first-class university, but after all, people do not live in storylines, and they do not rely on the deep love between you and me to eat as a meal and wear as clothes. ,when. . . . The girl has already come from the story to reality before she graduates. . . I have already considered how to say goodbye to the boy, because there is a boy with excellent family conditions who is pursuing the girl, and the girl is already attracted to him. . .
Finally, it was made clear, love was directly shot in the head by reality.
The boy went north and began the so-called life of drifting in the north. He began to study missile launch procedures from the research institute. A fledgling rural boy, with a meager salary, began to rent a small single room in the countryside, earning After registering in Beijing, he resolutely left this so-called confidential unit of a central enterprise, because this income had nothing left after excluding rent, food and other necessary expenses. It can be said to be extremely shabby. . .
He started working as an engineer in a foreign company, then switched to sales, and then worked his way up step by step. When he reached the middle level, the boy often thought of the girl, but never contacted her. He heard that the girl was married, so he didn’t want to disturb her. But I kept thinking about it. . .
A few years later, the boy also got married and found a girl eight years younger than him. She looked like his first love. I don’t know if it was a substitute or just a good one. Or maybe it's because of the betrayal back then. . .
One year, the boy was kindly invited by his classmates, but he was too embarrassed to refuse, so he went to attend a class reunion, where he met his first love and the woman he had always dreamed of. . . The result. . . I know the ordinary life of a girl. Although she has a car and a house, it is in the third-tier class. When the girl sees the boy's high-spirited look, she feels a little regretful and hopes to renew the relationship. The boy also hopes to relive the old dream. Lang Youqing is interested in concubine. Under the circumstances, boys and girls rushed towards the happy time when Hongxing came out of the wall and there were people outside the wall. . .
One day, the boy’s bitch knew everything and knew that she was just a substitute, so she secretly plotted to make the boy lose everything and leave the house. The boy was still immersed in the story of what happened outside the home. Home, the days when the red flag does not fall down at home and the colorful flags flutter outside. . . Drunken life and dreaming of death. . . It's a pity that it was a disaster. The wife of the family left the two children with the boy, left the house, took the money, and left. . .
Besides, the girl thought she could enjoy the shade by hugging the big tree. Unexpectedly, the boy was left with an empty shell. Although he had a house, he needed to register a household registration and his children needed to go to school. Both children followed him. , the girl herself has children. She wanted to follow the boy and get her children’s hukou so that they could go to school in Beijing and take the university entrance exams as a Beijing resident, but it turned out to be a failure. . . All the hard work together is in vain. . .
The boy now knows he regrets it. . . It's too late, the so-called true love, the so-called first love. . . It's just a joke, but it also makes others happy. . .
The boy now is an old man in his forties, with only a house, no loan, and two children who are still young, which is sad. . .
Poor people must be hateful, is that what you mean?
A king of bombs will be beaten to a miserable end. . . I was convinced too. . .