Why do I have to live with meaningless thoughts every day and be accused by my nanny and family every day? Why?

You can't go out to work because you are ill. You can only stay at home. Because you have a brain tumor and your brain is stimulated, you can't stay at home as long as a normal person. Therefore, your family's attitude towards you is not so good. Don't be afraid. Say what you have, and have a good debate with them. I hope they can understand your pain, because you are helpless and have no choice. Nobody wants to be like you.