Children can't afford to lose.
Because parents can't afford to lose.
I watched the showdown between Italian boy Andrea Latorre and China boy Li Yunlong in Super Brain.
The program group asked two children to memorize the random queue order of the bride and groom in 5 1 and show the ranking with a doll model.
At first, Li Yunlong mistakenly thought that he had misplaced it and burst into tears on the spot. He kept saying, "I put it wrong, but I remember it right!" 」
In the words of the on-site judges: I feel that he has been defeated and there is nothing left.
Andrea Latorre couldn't help crying when he saw Li Yunlong's reaction. When asked by the host, he said, "I think he is so sad when he cries." 」
When the results were announced, Li Yunlong realized that he had won.
Emotional reversal, immediately smile through tears. Look at that Italian kid again: He generously came to congratulate and hug Li Yunlong.
Afterwards, many people commented that Li Yunlong "can't afford to lose" and praised the Italian guy for his open-mindedness and calmness.
In fact, not only in Li Yunlong, many children can't afford to lose now.
02
We teach our children how to pursue success, but we always forget to teach them to accept failure. There are many excellent children, but not many children can always maintain a normal heart.
During the summer vacation, my friend invited me to watch her daughter's calligraphy competition. I happened to be free, so I promised to go with her.
The competition went smoothly, but there were flaws in the process of awarding prizes.
It turned out that after hearing the result of the competition, a girl wearing a small floral chiffon skirt first kicked over several chairs, then swept down some works on the table, and finally lay on the ground, crying like no one's watching. ...
Her parents talked and talked in turn, but they couldn't stop her from crying.
No way, only in her noisy crying, the judges will not modify the results of the competition because of the child's crying.
Although my friend's daughter missed the prize, she didn't feel too emotional. On the contrary, at the end of the activity, she took her mother's hand and summoned up the courage to come to the judges and asked them to specifically point out the revision opinions of the work and let her find out the shortcomings.
Although both of them lost the game, there is no doubt in my heart that my friend's daughter lost at this moment, but I believe she will win next time.
03
How can parents teach their children that they cannot afford to lose?
Emerson said: "What kind of person a child will eventually become depends mainly on the love, companionship and example he gets from the first educator. 」
If parents want to teach their children to treat winning or losing correctly, they must have the courage and wisdom to treat winning or losing correctly.
1, don't lose your temper and accept your child's failure.
What kind of children are most afraid of failure?
If you fail, your parents will get angry, scold and say, "Why are you so disappointing?" Such children are most afraid of failure.
In the eyes of children, parents' love is conditional, and only when they succeed will parents give them warm love.
We should let the children know that your parents are happy for you when you win. If we lose, let's find the reason together and try to do better next time.
Let the children understand that you don't need to win the love of your parents with your own Excellence.
2, parent-child affection, allowing children to fail
It's hard enough when the child is lost, so the affection and acceptance of parents is particularly important.
Chun Wu's daughter tried to win the Asian ballet competition, but she lost. Chun Wu shared with her the story of her 26: 128 defeat in the basketball match.
Soon, my daughter came out of the mood of failure.
Sharing your failure experience with your child can not only effectively reduce your child's guilt, but also make your child understand that losing is not terrible, but standing up is terrible.
3, sum up experience, so that children are not afraid of failure
Edison tried 1600 kinds of materials to find the most suitable material for filament, but he just said airily:
"I only know that this 1600 material can't be used as a filament. 」
Tell your children that no one will win or lose forever. As long as you don't give up and keep working hard, you will have a chance.
It is the most important thing to take children to reflect on their own shortcomings, think about ways to solve problems, and learn concrete lessons from setbacks and failures.
Bai said: "The failures and setbacks you often encounter are reminders from God, so that you can get some education from the process of failure. 」
Children who only see negativity and depression in failure will lose self-confidence and motivation to advance and stagnate;
Children who learn to sum up experiences and lessons from failures will be more frustrated, stronger and win a brighter future.
Wendy's mother has something to say:
Parents have a normal heart, and children also have a normal heart. Whether it is icing on the cake or doing nothing, they can accept it calmly.
As the saying goes, nine times out of ten, life is unsatisfactory, and losing once does not mean losing your life.
If a child loses, he can admit defeat frankly, so that he can better face setbacks, cut off obstacles on the road of life, go forward bravely and become the final winner in life.