Jokes caused by broken sentences without punctuation ◆The most wonderful text messages in the world - punctuation marks. Hugo (1802-1885), an outstanding bourgeois democratic writer in the history of French literature, wrote a famous book "Les Miserables". When Hugo sent the manuscript of "Les Misérables" to the editorial office, he didn't receive any news for a long time, so he wrote a letter to inquire. The letter was written like this: "?——Hugo". As a result, the reply from the editorial department came quickly, and it said: "!——Editorial Department". Soon the famous book "Les Misérables" came out.
◆There was a market town that had no public toilets, so people often defecated in a small alley on the street. The residents on both sides hated it, so they asked a scribe to write a banner and put it up, The banner read "Pedestrians and others are not allowed to relieve themselves here" and the result was invalid. One day, I caught a man urinating and asked him, "We have written a notice saying "Passengers, etc., are not allowed to urinate here." Why did you insist on urinating here despite the dissuasion? The man said that it clearly said "Passengers, can't wait, urinate here, I need to urinate urgently!"
◆In the past, a friend came to his home, and he had no intention of having the friend stay at home. . It rained again in the afternoon, so the man wrote a banner that read, "On a rainy day, guests are invited, but on days, I won't be kept." He placed it on the table for his friends to see, which means, "On rainy days, visitors will be kept, but on days, I won't be kept." But the friend refused to leave, and said, "On a rainy day, I will stay as a guest. Will you stay with me? Stay!"
◆There was a young man who was introduced to him by a matchmaker. The marriage contract stated "This is The young man was very happy, thinking, "This girl has a pockmarked face, black hair, fair skin, is innocent and innocent, no matter the bride price." But when they met, he was dumbfounded. , it turned out to be "This girl has a pockmarked face, no hair, dark skin, white idiot, innocent love, and a bride price is indispensable."
◆In the old days, there was a private school teacher who applied for a job with a wealthy man. At the beginning of the year, the document stipulated that "no meat fish" You can have chickens, ducks, carrots and side dishes, but you can’t do it without paying the tuition fee.” The rich man was very happy and thought, "Meatless fish is fine, chicken and duck are fine, and radish and side dishes are not allowed. If you don't pay the tuition fee," at the end of the year, the school teacher asked for the tuition fee and said, since we had agreed at the beginning of the year that "fleshless fish is fine, we can't have meatless fish." It’s okay, no chickens or ducks, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s radish and side dishes, but it’s definitely not possible without paying the tuition fee.”
◆Zhu Zhishan writes couplets. Zhu Zhishan (1460--1526) was a famous calligrapher in the Ming Dynasty. He was known as the "Four Great Talents in the South of the Yangtze River" together with Tang Bohu, Wen Zhengming and Xu Zhenqing. Legend has it that he made a lot of jokes when he wrote couplets for people.
During the Hongzhi period of the Ming Dynasty, a rich man built a new house. He asked Zhu Zhishan to write a couplet, "It makes people so sad to live in this house safely." The rich man was very unhappy and asked why you wrote such an unpleasant couplet to me. Lucky words? Zhu Xiaoxiao said, "I'll read it to you. This house is safe and livable, and the people are kind and not sad. This is great luck!" After hearing this, the rich man couldn't laugh or cry.
According to legend, on New Year's Eve one year, Zhu Zhishan and his book boy passed by a maternal home. Suddenly they heard the cry of a baby falling to the ground, so they wrote a couplet on the door: "It's so unlucky this year. I came in with no money or silk last night." Giving birth to a demon is not a good child or grandchild.” On the morning of the first day of the Lunar New Year, as soon as the member opened the door, he said, "It's really unlucky this year. I have no money to get in. I gave birth to a monster last night. I am not a good son or grandson." He was so angry that he went to Zhu Zhishan to argue. Zhu Zhishan said, "Break the sentence." Wrong, you should read like this: "This year is really good, no bad luck, money and silk come into the door; I gave birth last night, not a monster, I have good children and grandchildren." After hearing this, the officials turned from anger to joy and drank wine to express their thanks.
◆Xie Jin interprets poetry. Xie Jin, a native of Ji'an, Jiangxi Province, was smart and studious since childhood. He was a Jinshi in the 21st year of Hongwu and was one of the great talents of the Ming Dynasty. During the Yongle period, someone gave the emperor a fine fan as tribute, with a painting on it: white clouds in the sky, a big river underground, steep peaks towering into the clouds, a lonely city, and a man standing next to a willow tree on the river bank. He was playing the Qiang flute and looked attentive. Emperor Yongle liked the painting very much, and he invited the famous scholar and scholar Xie Jin to write a poem according to the meaning of the painting. Xie Jin took the fan and took a look. It turned out that the painting on the fan was the artistic conception of "Liangzhou Ci" written by Wang Zhihuan, a famous poet of the Tang Dynasty.
So without thinking, he wrote a poem on the fan with a stroke of his pen: "Far above the Yellow River, there is an isolated city among the white clouds. Why should the Qiang flute of Wanren Mountain complain that the spring breeze of the willows does not pass through Yumen Pass?" Due to a moment of negligence, Jie Jin missed the word "jian" in "Yellow River is far above the white clouds" when writing. There was a minister named Gao Xu next to Emperor Yongle. When he discovered Xie Jin's mistake, he immediately reported that Xie Jin had committed the crime of "deceiving the emperor". The emperor took the fan and looked at it. Sure enough, the word "Jian" was missing. He thought that Xie Jin was deliberately deceiving him because he was uneducated, and wanted to put Xie Jin to death. Jie Jin never expected that if he missed a word, he would be killed. Fortunately, there was no need for punctuation when writing articles, and it was up to the readers to segment sentences themselves. Jie Jin became wise in his desperation, and he laughed at Gao Xu. Emperor Yongle asked angrily: "Why are you laughing when you are about to die?" Xie Jin replied: "Long live your anger, I am laughing at Gao Xu and ignorance, and will only slander the saints. I just filled in another one based on Wang Zhihuan's poem The first poem. There is a difference between poetry and words. If it has the word "Jian", it is a poem. Without the word "Jian", it is really a poem. Above, there are white clouds, the lonely city is Wanren Mountain, why should I complain about the Qiang flute? The spring breeze of the willows does not pass through Yumen Pass." Xie Jin recited it so catchy that the emperor became happy again. He praised Xie Jin for his good writing and knowledge. He released Xie Jin on the spot and gave him money to calm his shock.
◆Shallow private school teacher. In the past, there was a private school teacher who was teaching students to read "The Great Learning". There was a passage in "The Great Learning" that "After knowing the stop, you will have concentration. After concentration, you will be able to be still. When you are still, you will be at peace. After being at peace, you will be able to think about it. After thinking about it, you will be able to gain." Mr. The thought is, "After knowing to stop, you will have concentration, then you will be able to be still, then you will be at peace, then you will be able to worry, and then you will be able to gain." The teacher felt puzzled as to why the word "achieved" was missing. Because the book was a manuscript copied by a gentleman from Nishimura, I went to ask about it. The teacher of the private school in Nishimura said, "There is one more word in the original book! Know the stop and then you will be, be calm and then be able, be calm and then be able, be calm and then be able, think and worry and then be able, get!" The private school teacher of Dongcun was furious and said, "So it's you. If you copy one less word in my book and treat the saint so lightly, won't it hurt future generations?"
◆The eunuch issued an edict. One day, Emperor Kangxi asked Prince Suhachak to come to Beijing. So he drafted a decree: "Prince Suhachak is ordered to arrive in Beijing on the 8th." But when the eunuch announced the decree, he read: "Prince Suhachak is ordered to arrive in Beijing on the 8th."
◆Bao Gongan There is a story about a will. It is about an eighty-year-old man who gave birth to a son. He was afraid of being persecuted by his son-in-law. Before he died, he wrote a will, which read: "The eighty-year-old man gave birth to a son. People say he is not my son." He also handed over all the family property to his son-in-law and no outsiders could argue with him." He also gave two copies of the will to his son-in-law and stepmother for safekeeping. The son-in-law read the contents of the will, "An eighty-year-old man gave birth to a son. People say he is not my son. The family property is I will pay everything to my son-in-law, and no outsiders will argue." I happily received all the inheritance. When his son grew up, his stepmother went to Kaifeng Mansion to file a complaint. Master Bao took back all the inheritance and gave it to his son. The reason was that "an eighty-year-old man gave birth to a son, and people said that he was my son. All the family property was given to his son-in-law." Outsiders, please don’t argue.”
◆A young man working in other places wrote a letter to his parents. Because he didn’t pay attention to reading, he didn’t put any punctuation marks. One of the paragraphs read: “My son’s life. It’s so painful, I have no food at all, I’m sick a lot, and I make a lot of money.” After my mother read it, she burst into tears and said, “My son’s life is very painful, I have no food at all, I’m sick a lot, and I make a lot of money.” His father said. Then he laughed and said, "My son's life is good, he has no pain at all, he has plenty of food, he rarely gets sick, and he earns a lot of money."