Knowing that I was writing some emotional articles, a mother of Bao Ma Group talked to me about the problems she encountered about her husband's infidelity.
She said that her husband was sent to work in a foreign country last year, because he could only come back once a week, so he fell in love with a divorced female colleague in a foreign country.
After she knew it, she had a big fight. Her husband separated from the female colleague, transferred back from other places and chose to return to the family.
however, things are not over.
Her husband thinks that things have passed, so he still eats and sleeps with her every day as before. As for her, although she chose to forgive for the sake of the integrity of her children and family, she also accepted her husband's return to the family.
? But
she said to me:
? Although I have forgiven my husband in action, I always feel that there is a hurdle in my mind. As soon as I see him and think that he has cheated on me, I feel a thorn in my heart, which is very painful. ?
? I feel that this day is almost over. What should I do? ? Why is it easy for a woman to forgive her husband for cheating?
We often see this phenomenon in our life. The husband cheated, and the wife was angry and sad, but she finally chose to forgive.
Not only around us, many female stars finally chose to forgive when they cheated on their husbands.
for example, Ma Yili and Wen, Tong Liya and Chen Sicheng, Lin Dan and his wife Xie Xingfang? Wait a minute.
However, does forgiveness really mean letting go?
On the surface, women are more likely than men to forgive their partners for cheating, but this is not the case.
In many cases, women forgive on the surface, but they always care about it in their hearts, and it is always difficult to let it go. They can't get around this hurdle in their hearts and can't get out of this psychological dilemma.
why is this happening?
Because women pay more attention to their inner feelings than to their external forms.
Forgiveness is only an external form of expression, but letting go requires a woman to truly recognize and accept the fact that a man has cheated.
it won't be possible for a while.
Some women may have forgiven a man on the surface and spent their whole lives with him, but in their hearts they may never let go, or even remember him for a lifetime.
this is not a good thing. This proves that the relationship between husband and wife has not been truly repaired, and the emotional trauma of women has not been repaired. to repair emotional trauma, women should get out of the psychological dilemma of being derailed < P > For women, cheating on the other half will cause great emotional trauma.
if you can't let go of this knot all the time, it will not only lead to emotional problems, but also psychological problems for a long time. Such as depression.
At the same time, the relationship between husband and wife will be affected more or less, even because you can't let go and often turn over old accounts, which will lead to problems in the relationship between husband and wife again.
Therefore, for the happiness of marriage in the future and for their own psychological health, women must let themselves out of the psychological predicament of being derailed.
you can try to change from the following aspects.
first, accept the reality with a future-oriented mentality.
it's hard to accept a husband's infidelity. However, if a woman wants to get out of her psychological predicament, she must learn to accept the reality with a future-oriented attitude.
First of all, we should realize that the fact that the husband cheated has happened.
Secondly, in the face of this matter, think about what you want and what your future life goals are.
If you want the family to continue to live a good life, and the goal of future life is to have a complete and harmonious family, then after forgiving, tell yourself that it is more important to live a good family life in the future.
focus on how to live a good life in the future, and don't always get stuck in the quagmire of her husband's infidelity.
Second, divert your attention and learn to vent your emotions reasonably.
The psychological trauma brought to a woman by her husband's infidelity can't be healed at once, and the negative emotions will fluctuate repeatedly, sometimes good and sometimes bad. At this time, women need to learn to solve it in time and not to keep it in their hearts.
You can do more beneficial aerobic exercise such as running, yoga and fitness. Through exercise, your brain will secrete happy bamine, which will help you relieve your depression and vent your emotions.
At the same time, you should learn to divert your attention. You can cultivate some hobbies that you are interested in, such as reading, writing, painting, calligraphy, planting flowers, etc., and try your best not to think about those bad things. When you are immersed in what you like, your mood will become stable and relaxed, thus slowly letting go of your obsession.
Third, carry out more family activities and promote emotional communication
It is not enough for a woman to get out of her psychological predicament by herself.
We should carry out more family activities with the whole family, invite our husband and children to get together for a meal, watch a movie, and climb mountains in the countryside together. In the emotional interaction and integration, in the beautiful nature and the happy atmosphere of the whole family, you will naturally let go of your heart.
Fourth, objectively analyze your own problems in marriage.
In the face of her husband's infidelity, women should objectively analyze whether they have done badly in their marriage.
for example, some women ignore their husbands after giving birth, and some women are too strong for men to feel warm at home?
when you actively make changes and make yourself a better partner, the other person will feel your changes.
this society is actually very realistic. Everyone is busy, and no one will really take care of your feelings completely.
At any time, if a woman wants to live a good life, she must be strong and independent. This strong and independent doesn't necessarily mean material things, but you must learn to be strong and independent mentally, and don't rely on others for all your emotions and feelings.
There is a good saying: The more you care, the more it hurts.
Do what you like and grow into a better self. You can care, but don't rely on it. You can care, but don't be inseparable.
Let go of your obsession, and you will find that life is vast and the world is wonderful. After you get out of the predicament, life will be better.