What should I do if my children don’t like to study?
Nowadays, many children are tired of studying and do not find fun in learning, even top students. Curiosity is the basic way for children to understand the world, while pursuing happiness is in the nature of children. If children are deprived of happiness because of their pursuit of knowledge, study in a state of hard study, and lack the need for cognition, then they will become tired of learning.
To change children’s aversion to learning, we must first understand the reasons why children are averse to learning, and then we can prescribe the right medicine to make children learn happily.
The main reasons why children are tired of studying are as follows:
(1) Parents’ expectations are too high. For the sake of their children, parents can give up their careers and do not need to take a break on weekends. , tutoring children, accompanying them to practice piano and learn painting, which greatly increases the psychological and physical pressure on children.
(2) Parents accompany reading, causing children to lack the consciousness of learning, find it difficult to understand the learning process, and solve new problems independently. They cannot experience the joy of success after independently solving problems.
(3) Parents have biased orientation towards their children’s purpose of learning knowledge, and set the purpose of learning knowledge for tomorrow instead of today. I often say to my children: "If you don't study hard, you will have to repair the earth and sweep the streets in the future." The utilitarianism is too strong. In this way, children cannot experience the happiness of acquiring knowledge itself, but only focus on others' evaluation of their academic performance. Children are not interested in knowledge itself and naturally regard learning as drudgery.
(4) Children cannot learn. Children who don't know how to learn will learn hard, learn tiredly, and learn annoyingly. These children often do not concentrate when learning and cannot connect new and old knowledge for learning; they cannot select relevant important content and discard unimportant content; they cannot express the learned knowledge correctly and reasonably. Since children cannot learn, they will naturally become tired of studying when faced with increasingly heavy academic content.
There are several other reasons:
1. I don’t like rigid courses and boring lectures, and I can’t find the interest in learning.
2. I didn’t get started when I started learning, so I felt that I had no idea how to start and was confused about learning this course.
3. Because I am not confident, "Anyway, others say I am stupid, and I cannot learn anything well." Therefore, I have a natural resistance to learning, and I am not good at learning.
4. Problems with study habits, such as inattention in class, sloppiness, and failure to complete homework after class.
5. There are also some children who fail to keep up in the middle part, either due to criticism from the teacher or the influence of classmates around them.
Faced with children’s dislike of studying, after figuring out the main reasons, how can parents make their children study happily?
Parents must learn to observe and understand their children carefully, be good at discovering what aspects of life their children are interested in, and be good at discovering their children's strengths, and then take targeted measures, such as encouraging them to participate in interest groups, Participate in some educational group activities, participate in competitions, or take him to the museum to see some exhibitions on Sunday, etc. Every child does not want to be worse than others. I believe that he will "hum and haw, go and go, but his mind is not there." It's because he has no motivation, doesn't want to, doesn't know where to start, and can't find the entrance to learning.
(1) Let children experience the joy of success. Children are very concerned about other people's evaluations of themselves. They understand themselves based on other people's evaluations. If others say he is stupid, he will think he is stupid. A child who always fails cannot experience the joy of success and will not work hard. For a child who has never completed homework, it is best for parents to let him do a few easy exercises first so that he can complete them easily, and then adjust the difficulty of the homework. If a child does not study well, do not attribute the failure to the fact that the child is not smart. Parents can look for the reasons from aspects such as learning attitude (whether serious or not), willpower, etc. Do not call him stupid or let him give up on himself.
(2) Encourage children to motivate themselves. If a child can regularly motivate and motivate himself, he may be able to avoid academic failure.
First, we must help children establish self-motivation goals. Secondly, let the children learn self-suggestion and often say motivating words to themselves, such as "I will definitely succeed." Again, let the child move away from negative emotions in action. If a child is afraid of failing in learning, it is important to tell the child what actions to take to eliminate this emotion.
(3) Guide children’s learning methods. When tutoring children, do not learn for them, as this will develop their dependence and the habit of withdrawing from trouble. Teach children how to obtain knowledge, such as teaching them how to check reference books and how to obtain the information they want. If the child cannot select important content during the learning process, parents can consciously give the child two long articles every week and ask him to abbreviate the long articles into short articles. The abbreviation process not only reflects the child's understanding of knowledge, but also Can reflect children's creativity.
In short, in order for children to change from studying hard and being tired of studying to loving and happy to learn, parents need to be patient and give guidance.
How to cultivate children’s interest in learning
First, accompany your children to learn.
When children are doing homework, especially when parents are required to dictate new words, solve math problems, or check recitations, parents should put down their work and complete home learning tasks with their children. Facts have proven that schools mobilizing parents' participation by leaving homework is an effective means of cultivating children.
Second, let the child know that learning is his obligation.
At present, many primary schools are promoting the experience of "happy education" in order to allow children to learn happily, which is a means to increase children's interest in learning. However, when children are studying for a period of time, especially when they enter higher grades, many children will have the view that "the content they are learning is useless." Why? Any means of increasing interest in learning has a short-term effect. The long-term effect lies in children establishing the concept of learning as their own obligation. Parents should help their children establish this concept and tell their children that their academic performance is linked to their future personal future and career. Parents can also tell their children about their own experiences and how what they learned in the classroom can be used in their own lives. In this way, the child's desire to learn will be enhanced and lasting.
Third, guide children to understand the use of knowledge.
How to express the use of knowledge to children? For learning English, you can give an example: after learning English, you can surf the Internet, or you can send emails to children in Australia or the United Kingdom to chat with them. This statement is simple and clear. For knowledge in other subjects, parents can also use examples in life to guide their children and stimulate their interest in learning various knowledge. As a teacher, we must learn to interpret the charm of subject knowledge based on the principle of "taking close examples" and attract children into the ocean of knowledge.
Fourth, home and school should work together to cultivate the flowers of the motherland.
Education experts believe that contact with schools is important so that parents can understand their children's performance in school. Parents care about their children, and school administrators should take advantage of parents' needs to carry out certain activities such as parent-teacher meetings, parents attending classes to accompany them, teachers' home visits, etc. The result of this is the exchange of opinions and the acquisition of knowledge. The school's goal is to improve the quality of education, and achieving this goal requires joint efforts from home and school.
Fifth, check your child’s schoolbag regularly.
I once weighed my child’s schoolbag and it weighed 7.5 pounds. When you open your schoolbag, you will find books, papers, school supplies, waste paper, etc. piled randomly inside. If you ask your child to find an item, he will rummage around for a while. So, I consciously checked the children's schoolbags and suggested that the children place their items in categories and prepare learning supplies according to the class schedule. In this way, the children gradually learned to organize their own school bags, and thus made considerable progress in self-care.
Sixth, arrange time and space.
A survey on American children shows that adding up all the school time, a person only spends 51 days in school a year, and it is assumed that these 51 days are attended day and night. If you don’t sleep, eat, or play, where does the rest of your time go? Children in our country may be better off, but time is wasted everywhere. Therefore, parents should help their children arrange time and space. Children should have a schedule that differs from Saturday and Sunday. Your child should have a place at home where he or she feels comfortable to study.
Seventh, formulate a study plan.
Parents should take action to care about their children's learning, and formulating a study plan is one of the actions. Parents should help their children determine priorities and goals. In addition to making study plans, parents can also suggest that their children invite their classmates to come home to do homework together, so that they can help each other. Some children do not listen to their own parents, but are willing to listen to their classmates' parents.
Eighth, punish children in moderation.
Rewards and punishments are means of establishing behavioral norms. When it comes to whether to punish their children, parents can impose punishments that are not too excessive. However, punishment should not be an emotional behavior of the parent. Punishment only makes sense when a child does something wrong or must be held accountable for his or her actions. For example: after he hurts another child, he has to pay compensation for the injured child; if he deliberately destroys something, the damage fee must be deducted from his pocket money or he must be fined to work; if If a child steals something, he must take it out and admit his mistake. Parents must never punish their children excessively. What parents need to pay more attention to is that excessive punishment without patient education will lead to children's resistance and revenge.