I am an introvert and have no friends.
What should I do if I am alone?
My cousin is 58 years old and retired. In these years, she has not actively contacted the outside world, has few friends, and has not offended anyone. She and her cousin-in-law also have an AA relationship.
After my cousin got pregnant, she made an agreement with her husband that all things related to the child at home should be shared equally between the husband and wife. The bills for water, electricity, and heating of the building should also be shared equally. .
But when it comes to human relations, you have to go to your own relatives. My cousin said, "I won't go to any major or minor affairs of my husband's family, including weddings and funerals. You don't have to go to my mother's family's affairs either."
At that time, my cousin's husband thought that my cousin was joking, so he just ignored it. . After my cousin's son was born, my cousin still wanted to go to work, so she wanted to hire someone to look after the child. The cousin's husband said: "My cousin wants to work in the city. Let's ask my cousin to take care of our son for a year."
The cousin said: "It's the same as spending money to hire someone. I'll hire a stranger, which is better than hiring a relative." There are few things to do. "My cousin wants to hire a nearby neighbor, an old lady in her 60s who retired from the hospital, to take care of their son.
Cousin-in-law said: "Why are you so special? Just like hiring people, if you hire relatives, you are also helping your cousin."
My cousin said: "Hiring relatives is a matter of hiring relatives." Many, seven aunts and eight aunts will have a lot of troubles in the future. If you hire a neighbor, there will be no unnecessary things."
The cousin-in-law can't defeat the cousin. Later, the neighbor's old lady helped take care of my cousin's son until he was five years old. The old lady also taught the child literacy, arithmetic, and good hygiene and eating habits. My cousin sent her son to preschool after he was five years old. If she worked overtime on weekends, she would send her children to the old lady to take care of her.
A few years later, my cousin-in-law’s mother underwent appendicitis surgery. My cousin-in-law was working on a project at the time, so he asked my cousin to go to the hospital to take care of her mother-in-law. The cousin said: "We agreed when we got married that your relatives, you can move around on your own and have nothing to do with me."
The cousin's husband had a big quarrel with the cousin because of this. My cousin didn't argue with her husband and took her children to live in the dormitory of the work unit. The cousin's husband had no choice but to hire a caregiver for his mother.
Because of this incident, the cousin's husband was scolded by his relatives, saying that he was afraid of his wife and that he had forgotten his mother after marrying his wife. Some relatives also said: "A woman is a daughter-in-law who has been beaten and rubbed. Your daughter-in-law deserves a beating. After a few beatings, she will be beaten and she will be obedient to your control."
My cousin’s husband also wanted to beat up his cousin. He went to her workplace and made a big fuss. He said a lot of unpleasant things to her, but her cousin didn’t defend her at all and didn’t have any quarrel with her. She just made a phone call. I called the security guard and asked my cousin out.
The relatives of the cousin-in-law’s family said to the cousin-in-law: "What do you want such a woman to do? Forget about divorce. Based on your work and your appearance, you can’t find anything like that?" It has to be her?"
My cousin's husband had no plans to divorce, but he wanted to scare his cousin, so he wrote the divorce agreement, threw it in front of her, and said, "Please sign it. , after signing, we went to the Civil Affairs Bureau."
The cousin took a look at the agreement written by the cousin-in-law and said, "I want the son, and I don't want anything else." The cousin-in-law saw that the son was. My cousin's weakness became even more exciting, and she said: "I want my son, and I don't want anything else."
My cousin said: "Okay, go ahead and rewrite the agreement, just as you just said , write it, I sign it, and then go to the Civil Affairs Bureau.”
My cousin-in-law was dumbfounded. He started to cheat, got drunk, and said, “Why did you marry me?” They don't care about me." My cousin didn't argue. When she saw her cousin-in-law taking out a bottle of liquor and wanting to drink it, she got up and walked towards her cousin-in-law through the living room.
The cousin’s husband thought that his cousin was going to steal his wine because he was afraid that he would drink too much. He became even more enthusiastic, holding up a bottle of white wine and drinking it mouth to mouth. Unexpectedly, his cousin walked right past him, went out to work, and didn't come back at night. For three days, my cousin stayed in the work dormitory.
My cousin's husband was drunk for two days and was in agony. He felt that his cousin didn't care about him at all, so he wrote an agreement and prepared to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau with his cousin. Both of them got up very early that day and waited at the door of the Civil Affairs Bureau for the door to open.
My cousin-in-law had a sallow face and said to my cousin: "You don't care about me at all, and you don't feel sorry for me at all. I am heartbroken with you."
My cousin said calmly Said: "You don't care about yourself, you don't feel sorry for yourself, how do you expect others to care about you? You know that drinking liquor is harmful to your health, but you still drink it, who do you blame? This is what we are going to leave today. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have told you this.”
When my cousin husband thought about it, his cousin was right. The Civil Affairs Bureau opened, and my cousin-in-law said, "There's something urgent at work. I have to go back quickly and come back tomorrow."
My cousin didn't object and went back to work in her own workplace.
My cousin doesn’t care about all the affairs of her cousin-in-law’s family. As she said after her marriage, both husband and wife are only responsible for their own family relations.
Actually, my cousin never participates in the interpersonal interactions in her family. Today my cousin gets married, tomorrow my cousin gives birth to a baby, the day after tomorrow my aunt’s son joins the army, and next month my uncle’s daughter goes to college. In recent years, people have started celebrating their birthdays again as they get older. There are gifts like this every month.
The relationship between the cousin-in-law’s family makes the cousin-in-law exhausted. As for my cousin, she doesn't participate in any of her family's interactions, so she lives a leisurely and contented life.
The same is true for my cousin at work. She doesn’t go to any wedding or funeral.
Even if the leader’s mother celebrates her birthday, the leader’s son goes to college or gets married, his cousin will not go either. She never made an exception. She has excellent professional skills in the workplace. Even if her computer breaks down, she can repair it herself and basically won’t ask anyone for help.
My cousin-in-law said: "You have been working in the company for more than 30 years and you are still a small editor. If you knew how to do something, you would have been promoted to director long ago." My cousin said: "The director has many things to do. I have a lot of leisure time as an editor, and I can make money writing articles in my spare time, which is no less than the director’s salary.”
At home, my cousin is responsible for cooking and my cousin’s husband is responsible for cleaning the room. If the cousin's husband doesn't clean the room, the cousin won't move. If the cousin's husband doesn't clean the room for three days, and there are dust on the floor, clothes are thrown around, and her son's toys are all over the floor, then the cousin will refuse to cook, take her son to the work dormitory, and cook and eat with her son in the dormitory. .
My cousin's husband once went to the dormitory of his work unit to look for his cousin, and saw his cousin and his son drinking chicken soup in a small casserole. The cousin-in-law said angrily: "Do you two need me more? Can't you make more and bring out my food?" The cousin said: "We are all adults and we have to keep our word. We agreed at the beginning. I cook and you clean the room. If you don’t clean the room, I won’t cook.” My cousin-in-law said, “I just cleaned up the room when I got home. Give me a bowl of chicken soup.” My cousin husband poured a bowl of chicken soup.
My cousin’s father had a cerebral infarction and was hospitalized for half a month. My cousin’s husband wanted to take care of him, but my cousin refused. She said: "You should go to your work well. I can handle my family's affairs, but I can't handle them. I will hire someone and it will not affect your work."
My cousin-in-law still comes often. Went to the hospital to visit my father-in-law. After my father-in-law recovered from his illness, he always praised his cousin-in-law for his filial piety when meeting everyone. During the Chinese New Year, my cousin's mother-in-law suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and was hospitalized for treatment. My cousin stopped visiting her mother-in-law.
My cousin-in-law quarreled with my cousin and said, "Your father is sick and I go to the hospital to visit. My mother is sick and you don't go to the hospital to visit. Are you still my wife?" My cousin said, "Am I your wife?" Daughter-in-law, you know it yourself. It was your choice to go to my father's hospital. I didn't force you, and you shouldn't force me." My cousin-in-law said that my cousin was unfilial.
The cousin said: "The law does not stipulate that a daughter-in-law must honor her mother-in-law. I have no blood relationship with her. Honoring your mother is your business."
This time, the cousin-in-law It was really frustrating. After their son was admitted to college, his cousin's husband divorced his cousin. The house where the two of them lived together was sold, and each person paid half of the house payment. After my cousin became single again, she used half of the money from the sale of the house, plus the savings she had accumulated over the years, to buy a two-bedroom apartment. When my son came back during the winter and summer vacations, he stayed at his cousin's house.
As for my cousin-in-law, after he became single again, he rented a house, made friends every day, and lived a happy life. After retiring, my cousin-in-law let go of his nature and drank every day. Once, I fell into a coma after being drunk and was sent to the hospital. Although I was rescued, I could not move half of my body.
The cousin-in-law was holding the mobile phone and didn’t know who to call. All the relatives in my hometown are in the countryside. Even when they come to the city, they just look at him. Who can take care of him day by day, month by month, year by year? Finally, the cousin-in-law called his son. By this time, my son had graduated from college, found a job elsewhere, married a wife and had children. The son called his cousin. My cousin said, "Son, don't worry. You can work hard and you don't have to worry about your father's affairs."
My cousin went to her cousin-in-law's house and hired a caregiver for him. Three meals a day are provided by nurses. All expenses came from my cousin-in-law’s pension. If the pension is not enough, my cousin will get more money.
My cousin-in-law said: "I didn't expect that since we are divorced, you can still care about me?" My cousin said: "One day is a blessing for a husband and a hundred days. You, get better soon, don't be a loser." I didn’t get up from bed. I saved a lot of money. After one year, three meals a day became two meals. After two years, two meals a day became one meal.
I did what I said. Come.”
My cousin’s husband knows my cousin’s personality and does what she says. He stopped drinking and, with the help of his caregiver, did rehabilitation exercises every day. In about a year, he will be able to take care of himself. My cousin's son knew his mother's character. After his wife gave birth to a child, he wanted his cousin to take care of the grandson. The cousin's son said, "Don't look for my mother. My mother won't come. Let's hire a nanny. Money It’s not enough.
You can borrow some from my mother.”
A few years later, my daughter-in-law wanted to have a second child and called her cousin. My cousin said, "If you can afford it, it doesn't matter if you have five children." The daughter-in-law was a little angry and said, "Mom, when you get old in the future, don't you just have to have us take care of you?" The cousin said, "I've already taken care of you in old age. The arrangements have been made, so you don’t have to worry about it. Besides, you have no obligation to support me in my old age. This is my son’s business."
My cousin has nothing to do with my daughter-in-law. However, during the winter and summer vacations, the grandson returns to the small town to visit his cousin. The cousin will spend money for the grandson to buy clothes, sneakers, and various toys. The daughter-in-law did not allow the grandson to return to the small town, but the grandson missed his grandma and bought his own train ticket to return to the small town.
Last year, my cousin sold the house in her hometown and bought a small house on the beach. My grandson is very willing to go to the beach to play, eat seafood, and swim. He is very happy. But once the grandson returns to his own home, his cousin will not make a single call.
She lives her own life without disturbing others.
After my cousin retired, she had no contact with the outside world. She does exercises at home every day, does whatever she wants, and spends the rest of her time reading and writing. Away from the outside world and crowds, without asking for help or relying on others, like a plant, living its own life, full of tension.