Pipa and Pipa
: Someone gave a Pipa to the county magistrate, but he mistakenly wrote "Pipa" instead of "Pipa" on the gift list. The county magistrate laughed and said: "Pipa is not this Pipa. I just regret that I was illiterate back then!" A guest responded: "If the Pipa can bear fruit, the whole city will be full of flowers."
There was a meeting in a township. Because of the homophonic pronunciation, the village chief said: "Rabbits and shrimps, don't ask for melons. Pickles are too expensive." (Comrades and villagers, don't talk. The meeting is now in session. ) The host said: "Please pickles, sausages and melons." (Now the township head is invited to speak.) The township head said: "Rabbits, shrimps, the dogs have eaten today's rice, everyone is a big bastard." (Comrades, Villagers, today’s meal is enough, let’s all use big bowls)
Only one ton
The young man decided to hold a wedding in his hometown in the countryside. The man’s father sent a telegram to his in-laws in the city
asking: “How many people can come? So we can prepare.”
The in-laws called back and said: “Not many people can come, only one person is prepared. Just a ton of rice will do." He wrote "ton" as "ton".
Soon I received another telegram from the countryside: "The wedding date has been postponed for one month because it is difficult to get a ton of rice
all together."
Api Dan True story
Director Jia said excitedly: "Today I will watch the movie "The True Story of Tom Clown"."
A young man smiled: "Director Jia, you read it wrong , that's "The True Story of Ah Q". "What? I've been playing cards for decades, why don't you know me?"
< p>The old man lost his teethThe brothers took their grandfather to the hospital for treatment. When my brother saw that the word "ling" for age on the registration form was mistakenly printed as "ling", he said to the doctor: "The word 'ling' is missing the word 'tooth'."
"It's because the word 'teeth' fell out, the doctor said, because we are a clinic for the elderly!"
Dr. Qu Yuan
In the history class, the teacher was the same student : "Who is Qu Yuan?"
"He is a doctor." The student answered.
“Nonsense!”
“Why are you talking nonsense? The book says he is a doctor!”
Calligraphy Art
Dress fashionably A pair of young men and women held hands and walked into a newspaper sales department. The young man pointed to a copy of "Public Flowers" and said to the salesperson: "Buy a copy of "Public Flowers Bloom"." The salesperson smiled at him and handed it to him. The young woman next to him took off the toad mirror, took it over and looked at the title of the magazine and asked, "Why does the word "open" have an extra vertical line on it?" The young man replied, "Is this the art of calligraphy?" "Oh." The young woman nodded.
Special words
A salesperson in a store wrote the words "Now on sale" on the blackboard.
A customer next to me said: "Comrade, you wrote a different word for 'zero' in retail."
The salesperson glared at the customer and said, "Come on, the word 'zero' is There is also a Li Dao Pian Er!"
Why care?
Director Hu always writes wrong words, pronounces wrong words, and makes lots of jokes, but he never learns humbly.
Once, when the unit held a commendation meeting, he pronounced Feng Jianguo as Ma Jianguo, which caused a roar of laughter. He
guessed he had mispronounced something again.
The secretary reminded: "There are two more points!"
Director Hu wanted to correct him, but he was afraid of losing face, so he said with a straight face: "Don't laugh, everyone. It doesn’t matter if there are two missing points! We are all revolutionary comrades, why should we care about these two points?”
Everyone
Mr. Zhou took the business card handed over by Mr. Chen and read it. He said at once: "Mr. Dong, I have admired you for a long time. I admire you for a long time." Mr. Chen took Mr. Zhou's business card and said, "Are you Mr. Ji?" Mr. Zhou was unhappy after hearing this: "My surname is Zhou, why? "How did I offend you by peeling off my skin?" Mr. Chen said, "My surname is Chen. If you want to cut off my ears, you won't want me to peel off your skin."